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year 5, quarter 3
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[attr=class,bulk] It was then, at that moment, that Celes decided that she liked Jessie.
’Ugh, men. They be like that sometimes, can’t they?’
They simply had to be friends.
”I wasn’t friends with many women before. Life in the army will do that to you, I guess.”She laughed, a little nervous, a little bitter. She really as stuck in her imperial days, wasn’t she? ”It’s been nice to meet other people. Though really, I mostly see Yuna.” She’d helped her buy new earrings. It had been nice.
Jessie went on to explain how long she’d been here (a year), and that she’d mostly been working as an actress. ’A quarter life crisis?’ Why did that sound so familiar?
”I don’t think it’s cheesy,” she said. It was a funny conversation to be having when they were both damp with sweat and standing in mud. Celes pushed a handful of loose hair out of her eyes. ”I know the feeling.”
The crisis of a newly discovered mercenary was nothing compared to the crisis of joining a group of rebels and that was nothing compared to the sheer dread that came with questions like, ’Is conquering sovereign nations evil?’
Ah, the joys of being raised in an expansionist empire.
”I sort jobs based on difficulty and who would be best suited for them. I could definitely find some that are up your alley, and you wouldn’t be going alone. Then there’s Caius. He could always use someone who doesn’t mind his long-winded stories.” Celes smirked to herself. Personally, she didn’t mind them which was good because they couldn’t have been friends if they had. But she liked to tease him. The words “Caius” and “concise” could only be used in a sentence if the word “not” was thrown in for good measure.
”If you’d rather stick around, I have all kinds of work that needs done around here. We’ve been thinking about hiring someone to handle things like accounts and new clients and keeping the notice boards updated. Between that and all the training, I barely have time to leave anymore.”
Celes shook her head. ”Those are just offers though,” she said. ”It can get pretty boring in a guild unless you really like hunting monsters.”
[attr=class,lyric1]i've met someone who can accept me
[attr=class,lyric2] for who i am
[attr=class,bulk] ”A weapons nerd.” Celes paused and then laughed to herself, perhaps more delicately than usual. In these heels with his corset and this hair, she found her mannerisms were more girlish than when she was comfortable. Funny, that. ”What are your favorite weapons then? From people that you’ve seen? And what do you think of mine?” This was fun, wasn’t it? A little at least. It felt something like banter. That was new.
”You certainly have a lot to say about it. I’m not really interested myself. Weapons are weapons. I use them and sometimes they’re better than others.” She shook her head. ”I have a friend, Edgar. He’s an engineer. He talks just like you when he’s working on his machines. By the end of it all, he was hacking monsters apart with a chainsaw.”
That had been something to witness. Something grisly and not particularly pleasant. There had been blood.
So much blood.
”Something about myself. That's a hard question, isn’t it?” She smiled at him apologetically. She’d been the one to start all this, after all. ”Hm. You already know about the flowers. I could go on and on about the Returners, but I think I’ve already mentioned everyone in it before.” She took a moment to think about it. There were certain things she liked, like her magic sword training, that were obvious. There were other things, like her taste in men, that were inappropriate.
Something that interested her…
”I like...Well, I like. Shopping.” She felt her cheeks go red. Damn them. ”I like jewelry and scarves. I have a collection of different earrings. Most of them are magically enhanced, but I just like the look of them, really.”
Something told her to stop talking. She should stop right there if she wanted to preserve the rest of her dignity. Flowers? Shopping? Jewelry? He’d never take her seriously again.
”Then I suppose I like...soft things. Like plush. Terra got me into them.” Or rather, Terra had given her a stuffed chocobo as a gift and Celes had awkwardly accepted. It wasn’t until she’d squirreled it away with the rest of her belongings that she’d realized that she’d rather liked it. There was something comforting about clutching a plush pillow to your chest in the night. Sometimes.
But she hadn’t had nearly enough champagne to say that.
Celes withdrew, still blushing. ”Don’t make fun of me.”
[attr=class,bulk] Celes sometimes forgot how introverted Caius could be. He was awkward, she knew that only too well, but she couldn’t imagine him actively avoiding friendships. Not with anyone he worked with, and not with anyone else either. The Caius she knew was always rushing to help, always taking jobs, always trying to get people back on their feet. He made friends in a way that made her jealous sometimes, and it was hard to think that she’d had the most previous social experience between them.
Someone more awkward and ill-equipped than her? That was sad, really.
”I’m sorry,” she said because that felt like the right thing to say. ”We really have changed, haven’t we? Both of us?”
Her life in that ruined world felt like a lifetime ago. Her time at the empire -- two lifetimes. She had a lot of questions about where she’d ended up and why and how, but she knew one thing for sure. She wasn’t the same person that she had been before.
”I know all about your heroic tales,” Celes said, smirking. ”I never would have thought you’re someone that has trouble with people. Then again, I never would have thought that I could end up being...I don’t know. Good.” Celes braced herself then sipped the wine again, making sure not to breathe through her nose. It was better that time. Still a little thick. Still strangely spiced. But better.
”How would you feel? If we ran into Vanora or…” What were the names again? ”The others? It was a shock seeing Sabin again. I brought him here in an instant, but I know he lives a different life than mine. I trust him with my life, but I don’t really know him that well.” She glanced at him. ”It almost didn’t feel right. Mixing the then and the now. Would you want to look for them?”
[attr=class,lyric1]i've met someone who can accept me
[attr=class,lyric2] for who i am
[attr=class,bulk] Caius called her a poet. Had she said something to give that impression? She supposed she should have been embarrassed, sharing her romantic dreams like that. On another night, maybe she would have been, but right now? It was on her mind to say the least. And she hadn’t spent two hours doing her hair and makeup then struggled into a corset to keep quiet.
”I don’t know if that’s how it works,” she said. Her? Being ‘just right?’ She wanted someone to like her for who she was, and she thought she’d found a few, but she knew she couldn’t be right all the time. If they thought that then they must not have known her very well. ”But that’s nice of you. I just…”
She curled a rivulet of hair around her finger. She wished that Yuna was here. Or maybe Jessie. Someone she could really talk about these things with without feeling like she was rubbing Caius’ nose in something. They’d both been in love, she thought, or they acted interested at least. While Celes…
Had it really been love that she’d felt? With Locke? She didn’t know anymore.
Celes swigged the last of her champagne and stretched out, making a short noise before she teetered back to her feet. ”Well. I guess we can’t stay here all night.” The path went down to a grove of trees with a pond tucked in it. At least that’s what the map had said. After that was the lighthouse, but she wasn’t about to climb up there if her life depended on it. Something about standing on the edge of a seaside cliff just didn’t sit well with her.
”I guess we shouldn’t talk about work. We do that enough as it is.” Celes started down the path, carefully setting her empty glass onto a receptacle placed next to the trash can. ”So why don’t you tell me something about yourself? Something that’s not fighting or some tragic past. Everything’s always so heavy with us.”
Celes should have expected it. She had expected it, really, but that didn’t make it easier to hear. For Celes, it had been a lifetime since they’d last spoken, but to Terra? Only a few months. She was worried about those children she’d left behind. She supposed that was fair though really she thought that Terra needed to get out and live for herself for once. Staying here would be good for her. Whether she saw that immediately was…
Well, it was maybe a little doubtful.
Terra certainly hadn’t had a good time so far. The rain appeared to have dampened her spirits as much as the rest of her, but then, she didn’t know this place well yet, did she? Terra was reminded of the Esper World, and it honestly surprised Celes that she hadn’t thought of that herself. Terra had a connection to that place. Celes, well, didn’t.
She considered herself far too grounded to speculate on the wild realms of magic. Ironic, really, given her magicite-granted power.
”You must have questions,” Celes said then shook her head. ”Why don’t we get you dry first? There’s no rush.” She led her to a chair by the fireplace, smirking at Terra’s thought on Sabin. For all her talk of love, Terra had never really shown an interest in men. At least not that Celes had seen.
”I suppose he is well-defined,” she said. ”Though all of those muscles aren’t really to my taste.” No. If she was going to melt into mush over some man, she’d prefer him to have a sense of style. And a thin stature. A pretty face helped and maybe some jewelry and scarves…
Celes took Terra’s cloak, careful to hold it away from her as it dripped steadily onto the floor. Terra was dripping too, absolutely sodden with rainwater. Celes wondered why she’d bothered traveling through the storm -- couldn’t she have waited it out somewhere dry? -- but she couldn’t exactly complain. With the day to herself, there wasn’t a better time Terra could have chosen to intrude.
Celes listened to the usual confusion as she hung the cloak on a hanger then returned, stopping a little while away to consider her. She was hopeful. She was expecting some kind of concrete answers. Celes sighed.
”It’s not...that simple.” Celes glanced at the fireplace then brought a hand up to her lips, one finger pointed in concentration. There was a shiver of magic and then the hearth was lit, crackling with a soft and persuasive warmth. Fire magic was far more Terra’s element than Celes’. Celes’ blood ran cold with a natural propensity for blizzard, but she knew the basics of the rest. Magicite had helped with that.
”I don’t know what happened,” Celes said as she lowered herself into a chair. ”I was there one moment and then gone. My memory was foggy at first. I didn’t even remember…” She smirked dryly. ”Well I still don’t remember fighting Kefka, but I’ve been told we won. That was a surprise.”
Which it shouldn’t have been. Celes had been the one to lead the charge after all, but some part of her had always considered it something of a suicide mission. It was a part of her she hadn’t acknowledged at the time, but that was the thing about expectations. Sometimes you didn’t know you had them until they were broken.
”This world, it’s never even heard of Kefka. There aren’t any wars -- not major ones, anyway -- and everything’s still alive.” Her words were choked with passion, and she looked away, shaking her head. ”I don’t know how it happened,” she said. ”I don’t know what this is, but I don’t care. This is a second chance. No one knows me or the empire or any of it.
”I’ve built a life here. I think I might be happy.” Or close to it. Closer than she’d ever been before. ”I wouldn’t go back if I could.”
Why would Terra possibly want to go back? It's not like she was parenting children or anything.
Use your own eyes, and see for yourself which side I'm on.
It was a slow day. It always was whenever the rainstorms rolled in. It had been over a week since they’d last had one of these flash showers, there in an instant then gone just as quickly. If Celes had known about it, she might not have bothered leaving her bed. Hardly anyone ever came in on a day like this. She wondered why.
The outdoor training yard was off limits on a day like this so Celes sat at the counter instead, sipping every now and then at a glass she’d poured from a bottle she’d found in the back room. She didn’t know exactly what it was, but it was heavy and spiced and not exactly to her taste. She waited just long enough between tastes to forget how much she’d regretted the last one. Then she remembered, and the cycle started all over again.
Celes sat with her legs dangling off a stool. Outside the shuttered windows, she heard the rain slam down in oppressive curtains. She was bored.
She didn’t hear the footsteps approaching the door. The sound of clicking heels was entirely lost to the storm until there was a woman standing there in the doorway, framed by dismal, clouded light. Celes jumped on instinct -- she didn’t like being snuck up on -- and felt all manner of things at once. There was relief at being interrupted, disappointment that she had to actually do something today, and then a kind of embarrassment at being caught drinking in the early afternoon. Celes moved to stash the bottle away, but then stopped.
That red dress. That green hair. Celes knew her.
”Terra?” For a long time, Celes could only stare. The girl was drenched in rainwater, her hair limp and her heels coated in mud. Her dress hung in heavy curtains around her knees, and a basin of water had collected between her shoulders and her cloak’s hood. Still, she was exactly as Celes remembered her, and as Celes met her unearthly blue eyes, she felt the space lengthen between them.
Terra, the half-esper rebel. Terra, the empire’s weapon. Terra-
”It’s you, isn’t it?” What a stupid question. Of course, it was. Celes had eyes, after all. ”I can’t believe it! Do you know how long it’s been? I-” Celes was off the stool in an instant, clearing the distance to the door in seconds. And as Celes looked her over, she couldn’t help but smile.
A real smile. A warm smile. It wasn’t like her.
”I’m so glad to see you,” she said. ”And to see you here. Isn’t it wonderful?” That might have been insensitive to anyone else, but to Terra of all people, she must have understood. That terrible, ruined world had been nothing but cruel to Terra. From the moment of her birth to the day that magic left, Terra had never known love. But maybe here...
”You’re the second one I’ve found. Sabin should be around here somewhere. Or maybe he’s left again? You know how he is. Here one moment then the next he’s made it halfway across the country to go punch trees and wrestle bears!” She hoped he was nearby. It would be nice seeing them both together. Though she knew Sabin didn’t share her ideas about their new world and just how lucky they were to have found it.
Celes snorted into her drink. ’I may very well wake up in the ‘morrow?’ Caius had a way with words. In that he either spoke like a poet or put his foot so far into his mouth that he was in danger of swallowing it. She’d never asked why he talked like that sometimes. She hadn’t pegged him as someone who had much love for literature or classic theater for that matter. Maybe she’d ask him some day.
Not now though. Her feet were too tired.
”I used to think I was crazy, you know. Nothing was really alive when I left. Not the earth or the trees or, well, anything. There were a lot of zombies though. Roving bands of zombies.” She’d never thought about where they came from, or maybe she just hadn’t wanted to. There was only so much horror that a woman could wrap her mind around at one time. She’d been a little occupied with the plight of the living and with the mad god wielding a laser over their heads.
Celes stretched out her ankles, watching her boots flex instead of looking at him. ‘When you get into a routine,’ huh?
”That doesn’t excuse anything,” she said. ”I don’t believe in silly things like ‘attoning’ or whatever you want to call it. The people I hurt are still hurt. Nothing will change that.” She felt like that should have hurt more than it did. She’d conquered a sovereign nation. Their blood was on her hands. Shouldn’t she have felt more guilt about that?
”I’m a different person now,” she said. ”I don’t think there’s anything else to it.”
Well this had taken a heavy turn. She supposed that she had something to do with that, going on about her time with the empire and all that. It was simply where her mind had wandered to, and the champagne had done the rest. Maybe she should have acquired a taste for the stuff before now. She’d have known how to handle it better.
She sipped it again, longer this time. There wasn’t much left. She didn’t know if she was going too fast or if the vendors were simply stingy for what it was worth. ”It’s funny. Coming here, I’d had all these grand ideas about some brilliant man about to sweep me off my feet. It’s stupid, I know. It wouldn’t be like me, and there’s no one like what I imagined. I’d just have ended up disappointed.”
She turned the glass in her hands before she glanced at him, smiling wryly. ”The flowers were sweet, you know,” she said. ”But then they chose me. I know I can be difficult.”
Use your own eyes, and see for yourself which side I'm on.
Caius was surprised she remembered all of them, and Celes guessed he wasn’t wrong when she listed them off like that. They were a lot of names to remember, and not all of them had really spoken to her before. Still, there was something about living crammed on the same airship that meant you had to get friendly fast. Or at least ambivalent.
”I had to find them after the world went to ruin. Kefka, you know.” She finally sipped from the glass at her lips and struggled not to make a face. It wasn’t bad, exactly, but it had the same hard taste of alcohol that she’d tried everywhere else. It was also heavy, a little like syrup, and tasted like some kind of tropical fruit juice on top of that. A boozy, heavy, fruit syrup. It wasn’t really worth making a fuss over.
”It had been a year since then, and every one of them had something else to worry about. And they made me solve it before they’d come along. I guess once you’ve lost everything, you hold on to whatever you have left.”
Celes lowered her glass. It was better not to smell it.
”I didn’t know all of their names before that, but I guess it sticks once you’ve helped them out of a haunted house or a cult or whatever else. Cyan was obsessed with some girl who sent letters thinking he was her lost lover. I found Setzer drinking himself into a hole, and Locke…” There it was again. Why did she ever bother bringing him up at all? ”He was after an esper that could bring back the dead. It didn’t work, exactly, but he got to talk to her for a few minutes. He kept her body preserved in a basement somewhere. It was an...interesting choice.”
She slammed down another swallow of wine, making sure not to smell it this time. People snapped after living through something like that. That’s what she told herself, anyway.
”So that’s them in a nutshell, I guess. I’m not sure I’d call them friends, but they were...something.” She’d never really laid it out that way before. When she said it all together, it sounded like she’d joined up with a bunch of crazy people. ”What about you? There has to be someone you remember.”
Celes laughed. They were being silly, weren’t they? Of course they were, but for once, Celes found that she didn’t mind. She was always so serious. So uptight. Perhaps she needed a little more silliness in her life. The half-finished flute of champagne might have helped.
’The best way to calm a soul,’ he’d said once. Was that really true?
”It’s decided then.” Celes sipped her glass. It had started out so bitter and dry, but now she could taste every hint of its floral notes. It fizzed pleasantly against her lips. ”Of course this will have to be near Provo. I’ve had just about enough of this heat, thank you.”
That was usually true though she suffered through it a lot easier than Caius did. She wore a leotard into battle for god’s sake, but even she had her limits. The seaside kingdom was often pleasant in the morning with its clear skies and invigorating warmth, but by mid-afternoon, the sunlight was liable to give her a headache. That wasn’t even to mention the humidity.
It had taken nearly forty minutes to force her hair into neat curls. The climate had done her no favors there.
They came across a simple white gazebo in a clearing shaded from the night sky by the encroaching palm trees. Their flat leaves swayed in the breeze, and she watched them for a moment as they fluttered. The gazebo had been decorated with ivy and more of those paper lanterns that set the scene in a mystic pink-violet glow. Celes glanced at Caius, smirking faintly.
”Well? Why not.” She took another sip of her drink then marched inside, perching on the edge of a bench to rest her feet. She was used to walking in heels, but these boots didn’t exactly have practicality in mind. She’d need a few breaks, she thought. The damned things.
”I would have loved a place like this back home,” Celes mused. ”I lived in Vector most of my life. It was the empire’s capital city, and it wasn’t exactly easy on the eyes. It was mostly metal, really. Very industrial. It was all about weapons manufacturing, you see.”
She leaned back, stretching out her legs in front of her. ”I don’t know why I ever thought our campaign was worth fighting for. The rest of the world was perfectly happy as they were. I suppose I was too caught up in the routine of it. When you’ve trained your whole life for something, why stop to question it now?”
She didn’t talk about her time with the empire often. It was a painful subject that tended to hurt more than it helped. It felt right though for some reason in this beautiful place. It was the antithesis of everything she’d ever known.
”You know, I think I’ve finally found something I can drink.” She held up her glass, now two thirds empty, and smiled dryly. ”I see the appeal.”
FF6's party is huge, okay? Massive. Just. Ridiculous.
Use your own eyes, and see for yourself which side I'm on.
Celes hummed. It made sense to her that Caius wouldn’t be able to sleep. Not after what he’d seen. Celes felt shell-shocked enough from her own experiences, and she hadn’t even been part of the fight. She doubted any of it was new to Caius either. Just another nightmare to add to the pile.
”You said they gave something to Vordun, didn’t you? That they’ll let him in the city?” That was something she remembered from the night when he’d come back looking like a drowned rat. Her memories from that day were a little tricky if she was telling the truth. But she thought he’d something like it.
”Well. That’s something good to come out of all of this.”
She twisted her napkin, watching the bartender pull out several bottles that she couldn’t recognize. He mixed something up in a square glass with a few cubes of ice for Caius. He poured something that looked vaguely red into a taller glass for Celes. She wondered dimly what it was. She supposed she’d find out soon.
”My friends? Right. I did say that, didn’t I?” Her eyes trailed up in thought. ”Well, they’re...Interesting.” How else to describe them? All of them at once? They were just about the most eclectic crew she could imagine.
”I told you that I was nearly executed by the empire, didn’t I? For trying to stop another general from poisoning a city?” If she hadn’t told him then she had now. What a conversation starter. ”Well, I was rescued by an insurgent that was spying through one of our conquered cities. That was Locke. I think I’ve mentioned him before. Anyway, he helped me escape and invited me back to the Returners. I didn’t have anywhere else to go so I went.”
She twisted the napkin first one way then the other. ”The Returners weren’t exactly friendly given my history, but they warmed up eventually. There was Locke, Edgar, then Sabin of course. Edgar’s his brother. Then Terra, Cyan, and this feral child they’d picked up named Gau. I don’t know why he was there. I guess Cyan felt bad for him.
”After that, we picked up Setzer, Strago, and Relm. I don’t know if I can count Shadow or not, but he came along when it counted. After Kefka, we added a moogle, a yeti, and Gogo. I don’t know what he was. Or maybe she? Gogo never really spoke.”
The bartender came back and set the glasses in front of them. Celes gave him a sheepish smile and took hers, holding it up near her lips without drinking it. She glanced at Caius apologetically. ”I know that’s a lot of names,” she said. ”It’s been a while since I’ve thought about most of them. Let alone Gogo of all people.”
