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year 5, quarter 3
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Caius had asked himself that question many times since his visit with Noctis. Who was he, really? He had thought himself a lad raised in the country whom had lost his family, scratched and clawed his way through a world of daemons and proved himself as a Kingsglaive, dying in the line of duty after ensuring his King's prophecy was fulfilled. For the longest time? That had been enough. Sure, some questions had gone unanswered, but he wasn't too curious. If those answers had gone with his parents to the grave, it was fine. If he couldn't have his family back, what difference did it make?
Now he had answers. And he wished that he'd never gained them. He wished he had stayed ignorant, because how could he face Noctis now?
Caius Lucis Caelum. Urged to exile without any knowledge of his family name before he was even old enough to have a choice. Go figure.
A prophecy that had ensured there would be no Crownsguard to save them when their place of, essentially, exile would be targeted. Regis had done what he had thought was right, Caius understood that. But if he hadn't called the Crownsguard and Kingsglaive back behind the Wall, if anyone who knew of their existence as part of the royal line hadn't perished when Niflheim attacked the Crown City... Maybe his family would still be alive right now. Sure, Regis had no reason to believe they would be targeted, but still.
That blasted prophecy. All this talk of a "Last King" this, the "last of the Lucian line" that. If their damned gods hadn't added that caveat to the prophecy, maybe they could have escaped Insomnia with the remaining Crownsguard, maybe they could have survived the target on their backs. Maybe he could have had a childhood, had a life.
Caius had done his best to accept his lot in life, but to know that it didn't have to be this way? To, in a sense, be betrayed by the prophecy he championed? That the very Royal Family he had served and died for, had ensured his family didn't exist? Regardless of the reasons, they had played a part in the brutal, gruesome deaths his family suffered, and all that had happened to Caius since.
He didn't know how to process any of it. Who he was, what had been done to him, everything he had said and done up to this point... He couldn't figure any of it out, or how he felt.
This pain... Was this what Ardyn had felt when he became Adagium? It wasn't the same, no, but to feel betrayed by your own bloodline, and then some. How did someone come to terms with that? He didn't know. Caius didn't know if he ever would.
But life went on. Time didn’t stop just because he was hurt. Even if things were awkward with Noctis now, they still had a job to do. Stopping the starscourge and saving Claire. That had to come first. They could sort out their… Relation, later. So Caius had done his best to distract himself with busywork. However, he had found himself with a bit of spare time after a job, and it occurred to him that he had been told Ignis was now cognitive again.
Considering they had risked everything to free him, Caius thought it best to visit him at Yuna’s clinic. Someone had recognized Alex Sorel at some point after he had fooled the reception staff to see Ignis himself. If Alex was skulking around, though, perhaps it was best he went to take care of Sorel himself, Caius noted. Yuna would want to go too, so perhaps before he left Provo, he would need to take Yuna and pay a visit to the Rising Stones to settle this once and for all.
For now though, Caius slid into the clinic and asked the wait staff to see Ignis. Caius, at least, was a face they knew. Considering he and Celes had funded the operation, it wasn’t hard to get wherever he needed to be. It was, however, suggested he make sure Ignis wasn’t asleep. So Caius very slowly opened the sliding door to Ignis’ room.
“I’ll be sure to keep checking in on them. I owe Mr. Scienta for his contributions in my time, even if he hasn’t done them yet. Though I don’t remember him being…”
Back before things got weird, that had been what he’d told Noctis. He had met Ignis prior to his incarceration, and his eyes had clearly been damaged. While Caius had taken him to a healer, he hadn’t seen him after that. To find out he had been jailed all this time since… Was there any chance left to save his eyesight? And when had he been blinded in the first place? He wasn’t blind in Caius’ time, just what had…?
“Mr. Scienta?” Caius spoke softly, trying to see if he could catch Ignis stirring, or if he was asleep. “My name is Caius, I don’t know if you remember me.”
Hopefully Noctis hadn’t told him about the Lucis Caelum thing yet, but Caius doubted he would be that fortunate.
Post by Ignis Scientia on Jun 2, 2024 17:18:03 GMT -6
It's been a long time since I've felt peace in my mind. But there on the horizon, I can see the light.
Ignis was well on his way to recovery.
It was a long sought victory to be sure. He had gone from spending the majority of his time unconscious in the hospital bed, awake only for brief enough moments, to now being conscious the majority of the day. He was still somewhat fatigued and bedraggled for sure, but it was reassuring to be toward the end of his recovery rather than stuck at the start. While imprisoned, each day had been focused solely on survival and the constant adrenaline needed to stay alive persisted over the pain. Now that he had time to focus on addressing each issue, time to rest and revive and recover, he had become all-too-aware of the near permanent damage caused by his incarceration.
Iggy was certainly looking forward to things once considered mundane that he now found exciting. A haircut, for one, he thought as his fingers brushed back a too-long lock of dirty blonde hair. Being able to explore different coffee choices for another. The now finished mug on the bedside table had been an acceptable cup of joe, but it certainly fell short of everything he was able to once get in Insomnia. That said, the first drop of coffee to touch his lips after freedom had been nothing short of blissful. Being able to walk the halls freely and dress in his usual fashion, rather than loose bottoms and a hospital gown. Those days were growing ever closer.
There were still many things to be discussed, of course. Ignis had spoken with both Noctis and Prompto several times at this point, but each conversation seemed to steer clear of anything too terribly stressful. Iggy could feel that they were doing this for his benefit, not wanting to overwhelm him – possibly at the request of the medical staff. However, it was also somewhat annoying, as a man who tended to know all the ins and outs of the world. Being blind was limiting enough, as he could no longer read a newspaper or easily take notes; his only source of information was now the spoken word, whether or not he was intended to hear what was said.
Perhaps he was being paranoid, but there seemed to be a lot of things going unsaid, these days.
Ignis reached toward the bedside table, picking up a shirt he’d been working on mending. A project, something to keep his mind and fingers occupied when boredom dared to set in or he became overwhelmed. Needle and thread were something that didn’t require his eyesight, but without that sense he had to focus more on the feel of what he was doing. The remaining aches and pains of his body slowly faded into the background as his fingers found work, carefully threading through a tear in the fabric.
He wasn’t sure who’s shirt it was, nor did he really care, to be frank. Anything to occupy the time while alone.
The quiet was, blissfully, not meant to last it seemed. Iggy heard the sounds of approaching footsteps – heavy boots and a long stride. He paused for a moment, frowning in thought. It wasn’t an immediately familiar gait, but it was one he’d detected outside of his door a time or two. Likely not an employee with a footfall such as that one. The door slid open, and a masculine voice carried over the silence.
A man named Caius. The name rung a bell. Ignis furrowed his brows in thought, attempting to place the name and voice. It seemed … a long time ago, perhaps? Oh, it had been right when he’d awoken in this world, hadn’t it? Bleeding, freshly blind, confused. Iggy recalled very little from their encounter through the panic, exhaustion, and pain, but knew that the man was to be trusted. He’d also come out of the woodwork to help with the rescue plan, if Ignis was correct from what he’d been told.
“Yes, I do remember,” Iggy admitted, sitting up straighter as he set aside his needle and thread project, “Though, I’m afraid, I don’t recall much from our initial meeting. I was in quite the state.”
Amused at the irony of him saying such a thing from a hospital bed, Ignis couldn’t help but chuckle, “Not unlike my current situation, I suppose. We need to stop meeting like this, as the saying goes.”
Ignis gestured to the chair he knew was close to the bed, beside the window, offering for Caius to take a seat, “Please, make yourself comfortable Caius. Is there something I can do for you?”
He remembered. That had been a surprise for Caius, who had figured with how delirious he had been, Ignis hadn't remembered a thing of him healing the blinded Crownsguard and bringing him to a proper medical professional for treatment. It was almost as much of a surprise as it was to see him actually sitting up and working with needles again. Caius almost spoke up about that, worried about Ignis hurting himself. But something told him that would only create unnecessary stress for someone who needed anything but.
Ignis didn’t remember much, but Caius wasn’t surprised by that. It had been a long time ago, and he was pleasantly surprised there was anything at all he recalled. He even managed to inject some humor in there, though Caius didn’t quite feel humorous at the moment. Ignis offered a chair, and while Caius didn’t want to intrude on Ignis’ space, he didn’t want to be rude either. So he took a deep breath and then took a seat where requested. “No, nothing you can do for me, sir. I actually wanted to see how you were doing. And if there's anything I can do” Caius responded in kind. Perhaps calling him “sir” was strange, but considering Ignis’ importance, rank and status in the Lucis he had known, it came out as force of habit.
He had managed to get better at separating Noctis from the King he knew, but not with Ignis. “This… May be strange to hear. But I’m a Kingsglaive from a time that, looking at you now, is likely far in the future from where you were taken. If you were taken from anywhere near where His Highness and Prompto were, that’s about twelve years before my time.”
Caius dipped his head slightly. “Lucis and its people owe you a great debt of thanks for your part in ending the Starscourge, or, well… A version of you, anyway. I can’t thank that world’s Ignis for it, but the least I can do is ensure you’re doing well.”
He chewed the inside of his cheek in thought. “For Noctis’ sake, as well.”
He and Prompto had risked everything to free Ignis. The least he could do was visit. No matter how tense and weird things were right now.
Post by Ignis Scientia on Jul 22, 2024 20:16:01 GMT -6
It's been a long time since I've felt peace in my mind. But there on the horizon, I can see the light.
The hesitation in Caius’s movements did not escape Iggy’s notice. He’d always been an avid studier of people; the movements of their gaze, the twitch of a hand – little things that would give away how they felt or betray their intentions in the grand scheme of things. While he had lost plenty with his eyesight, his talents for reading others had thankfully managed to adapt, survive, and thrive. The half second delay, the deep breath, they told Ignis all he needed to know to set the tone of this meeting.
However, Ignis made no mention of the awkward tension in the air, choosing to keep his small, polite smile. Caius was kind in turn, inquiring about Iggy’s well-being first and foremost. It was a question he wished he could simply wave away because, as kind and wonderful as everyone around him had been regarding his recovery, Iggy was quite tired of being asked how he was feeling. It was something the nurses had to ask him several times a day. It took him quite some time to learn to be honest with his health care team – rather than automatically replying fine even though he wasn’t, but it was still easy enough to dodge with others. “I’m healing up quite well, or so I’m told,” Ignis replied honestly, crossing his hands over his lap and lacing his fingers together, “The progress is slower than I would like, as you might imagine. But, there’s nothing more I could ask of anyone at this time.”
They had all fretted over him enough as it was, after all.
Caius seemed to know such an answer was coming, as he acknowledged Iggy and then moved the conversation onward into something new and surprising. Ignis couldn’t help the way his eyebrows lifted toward his hairline as he listened to Caius’s tale. He was aware that everyone in this world seemed to come from different places, even times – that much was evident when his last memory and Prompto’s didn’t quite match up. However, to be from somewhere so far in the future, Iggy had some difficulty grasping the concept. In Caius’s world, the Starscourge was no more and Ignis himself had played a part in it?
Ignis took a quiet moment to digest this information, his brows slowly knitting down in concentration as he felt something, a fuzzy memory perhaps, buzz in the back of his mind. Forcing his manners to the forefront, Iggy was sure to keep a polite smile and bow his head slightly, “It’s … comforting to hear that, somewhere out there, we were able to bring about the end of the Starscourge.”
He could only imagine what that world would look like. The scourge had plagued humanity for such a long, long time, it shaped the very essence of the landscape, her villages and cities, the bonds between her people. Though Ignis was pulled from his world, or however this worked, Lucis still saw peace at some point, and there was confirmation of that from someone who witnessed it first hand.
Still, something bothered him. Ignis cast his blind gaze toward the light he could barely detect from the window; his smile suddenly unsure.
“Noct…,” he trailed off, his tone curious and quiet, “In this future of yours, is he … alright?”
Post by Caius Dragelion on Aug 8, 2024 15:09:22 GMT -6
Caius Lucis Caelum
He was healing well, apparently anyway. Caius doubted he felt like he was healing much, considering the likely permanent loss of his eyesight. If only he had kept a better eye on Ignis all that time ago, maybe this could have been prevented. Maybe there had still been time to save his sight... Or perhaps not. Noctis and Prompto hadn't been surprised about their friend's blindness, after all... Something Caius had been meaning to bring up with Noctis, given time. He almost had, during their meeting. But the possibility that their futures could be drastically different was not something Caius was ready to accept. Ignis being blinded before even coming to Zephon lifted any matter of security he held in how things were supposed to go.
Caius would just have to find some solace in the smaller victories, then. Ignis was healing, albeit slower than he'd like. But he was healing, which was more than they could ask for considering how difficult it had been to bring him here. Hopefully it would speed up in time, and Ignis would be able to rejoin his companions in whatever travels -- and trials -- awaited them here. Ignis expressed comfort that at least one world had been saved, and Caius nodded slowly. Hopefully the same would be true for the others too. That's how it should go, right? He had seen the future, lived it. It had been a hard trip to get there, but they had gotten there.
Then came a question with a tone which sounded a bit odd to Caius. He told himself that Ignis was just worried about Noctis, as should be normal for someone like Ignis. But the way he said it... Caius had nowhere near the comprehension ability of Ignis, but there almost seemed to be a hint of desperation in his voice. Caius took a breath.
“He is. He had ruled for two years now, when I left Eos. I… Died, in ensuring that remained the case, that's how I ended up here," Caius spoke softly. "Don’t regret it, though. My… Duty, was fulfilled.”
Despite everything he had learned, Caius could not find himself able to regret giving up his life for Noctis'. While he felt pain when it came to the Lucis royal lineage, it was Noctis as a person that Caius remained loyal to. Whom he considered a friend... And still had been someone in his time that had given him a second chance in life. Caius had repaid that debt, he couldn't find it in himself to regret that.
“Is… There reason he shouldn’t be? The prophecy came to pass as it should. He rose up as the Chosen King and purged our star of its scourge… Just as ordained," he had to ask, shifting uncomfortably. Something about the way Ignis had asked it just bothered him, and maybe he was being paranoid, but he couldn't stomach the idea something was wrong. Though he couldn't help a bit of distaste in saying it was how things were ordained, either. But that's how it was. The Chosen King takes the throne... As the last King. The last of the Lucian line. A prophecy his family died for. Caius closed his eyes and lowered his head a bit.
Post by Ignis Scientia on Aug 14, 2024 19:44:17 GMT -6
It's been a long time since I've felt peace in my mind. But there on the horizon, I can see the light.
Noctis was alive.
It was in another time, in a future that he himself would likely never witness, but Noct had survived. Somehow, they had brought about the end of the Starscourge and prevented the blood sacrifice required to do so. A part of Ignis wanted to beg for the answer; tell me, what is it we did to prevent his death, please, I’ll do anything. However, he held back, keeping the desperate part of his soul from lashing out. There would be time for questions later, if necessary. The answer … how important was it, in this new world where everything was different, everything had changed, and their own world was … possibly so far away.
Was the Starscourge even in this world? Had Ardyn come along with them? So very much was completely different in this world where Kings of Lucis weren’t known and Oracles didn’t command the favor of gods.
Caius’s sacrifice, of course, had not escaped Iggy’s attention. He bowed his head politely for a moment, and through the immense relief he felt Ignis replied, “Thank you. For keeping him safe.”
With that bit of knowledge now tucked away, Iggy figured a change in topic was coming. It wasn’t kind, after all, to continue to focus on the time of another man’s death – just as Caius had realized it was painful for Ignis to speak much about his own recent, horrifying experience and subsequent recovery. Iggy released a held breath, calming his nerves as he shifted just a bit on the bed, working a small ache from his legs.
However, the topic didn’t change. Instead, it seemed, Caius had intuitively picked up on the tone of Ignis’s voice. Iggy froze, his still polite smile in place, and considered for a moment how he should reply to the glaive’s inquiry. It would be easy enough to say that he was simply concerned for Noctis’s well-being, no matter what world or future he was in. A believable excuse. But, was it truly necessary to lie? The man inquiring had given up his very life to protect Noctis, after all. If anyone deserved the truth…
Well, Noctis did, first and foremost. He and Prompto … if they didn’t already know, he should tell them. He would, when the moment presented itself.
Ignis let his smile naturally fall away into something more sad and somber. He moved his unseeing gaze away from the window, instead turning his head down – as if staring at his hands, crossed in his lap. His fingers threaded together, the pad of this thumb rubbing against his nail.
It was simply cruel, that one of the very last things he would ever see would be that terrible scene. “I was … granted a vision, prior to losing my sight,” Ignis muttered, wishing more than anything he could forget what he’d seen – the truth of their future, “For Noctis to become the Chosen King, a sacrifice was to be made. In order for him to purge the Starscourge, to wield a power beyond that of the gods and the kings – he was to give his life.”
It haunted Iggy so very often, choking him like ice freezing his lungs. Seeing Noct, grown and regal and strong, impaled again and again on the throne. To see him fight and win his battle against the darkness, only to vanish away into nothingness. For that to be his fate … it was unacceptable, to Ignis. Had Noct not suffered enough, his entire life? How was it fair to him, to have been born a sacrifice? If anyone deserved to bring peace to the world and get to experience the fruits of their labor, it was Noctis.
I want to share my tomorrows with him, Ignis recalled thinking, while he was remembering the cursed vision of the future trapped in his prison cell, He deserves to feel the sun on his face each and every day for the rest of his life.
Iggy swallowed the hard lump that had formed in his throat. There was no sense in lingering on the thought; after all, it was a vision of a future he wasn’t even sure was possible at this point. His resolve would not waver either way – Ignis would care for Noctis, until the very end. However, he would not allow the end to come so early; not if it could be helped. “Clearly, we must have managed to avoid such a thing in your future,” Ignis allowed himself to stop fidgeting with his fingers, a small, sad smile coming back to his scarred face, “I … will do whatever it takes, to keep Noctis alive. To ensure he is able to live happily and comfortably. That is what he deserves. Not what the gods demand of him.”
Post by Caius Dragelion on Aug 28, 2024 13:07:55 GMT -6
Caius Lucis Caelum
Ignis seemed relieved, somehow, that Noctis had survived. That only made him even more suspect that something was wrong. Ignis bowed in acknowledgement of his sacrifice, and Caius didn’t know what to think or do except to bow in return. It was Ignis that had paved the way to their victory, after all. Caius didn’t understand all the specifics about it, he hadn’t been in a position to. He only knew that Scienta had been instrumental to ending the scourge the way they had.
But what came next made Caius quickly wish he’d never spoken up. For the second time in the last 24 hours, Caius soon wished he could have taken it all back and continued to live in blessed ignorance. Because…
“NO!” suddenly and spontaneously spilled out without even a thought, but Caius quickly covered his own mouth before he could alert Yuna and those in her clinic.
Hearing him scream would draw every able-bodied person into this room, and Caius didn’t want that. Not to mention Ignis had been relying more on his hearing since losing his sight, he didn’t want to bring him harm. But in the seconds that followed, Caius’ mind raced as he tried to process just what he had heard.
The gods had intended for Noctis to die.
“My apologies, I didn’t mean-That’s… But that’s…”
Perhaps it would sound strange, hearing him react like this when he had just told Ignis that the Noctis in his world had conquered this grim fate. But while Caius’ information had given Ignis peace, what Ignis had provided in return only served to torment the troubled kingsglaive. Caius’ hands fell to his sides, clenching into fists and shaking uncontrollably as Caius began making noises that sounded something between a deep, angry seethe, and sobbing.
“Bastards…” Caius breathed out in a whisper, his anger towards the gods and kings beginning to resurface anew. He had thought himself having managed to get his emotions under control, thanks to Noctis. But hearing what the gods had intended pushed him off an edge that even Caius wasn’t sure if he could come back from. Tears streaked down the kingsglaive’s face, and he tried, he really tried, to stop the rapid flowing of emotion and tears. Ignis didn’t deserve to have to deal with this, but he hadn’t even had enough time to amply process the first revelation from yesterday, much less handle this one on top of it.
“They really did intend to wipe all of us out, like it was all a game to them” came out in a hiss, as Caius began pacing frantically across the room. His chest began compressing, and it hurt, and his breathing grew heavier as all the pain he had experienced because of the Kings of Yore began to flood right back. He couldn’t stop it, he couldn’t stop this pain, the tears, his anger, none of it. He felt trapped, like a horrible nightmare that he couldn’t wake up from, no matter what he did.
“My family died for that stupid prophecy, and they still intended to take Noctis as well? Why?” Caius blurted out, no rational thought being able to save him from slowly, unintentionally revealing his parentage to a likely confused Ignis right then and there. He was stuck in a loop of heavy-set panic that he couldn’t get out of. He was aware of and grateful that Noctis had survived, yes, but…
“And the kings, they knew, didn’t they? They knew Noctis was supposed to die! They refused to help us, and would only help when the “appointed time” came – what, was that only supposed to be when they carried him to his frickin’ DEATH?!” was blurted out in Caius’ escalating spiral of rage, tears and grief, not even seeming to remember Ignis was there anymore.
Post by Ignis Scientia on Oct 5, 2024 18:07:57 GMT -6
It's been a long time since I've felt peace in my mind. But there on the horizon, I can see the light.
Caius’s very loud and unexpected shout nearly made Ignis launch from the bed. He did still tear the sheets away, legs swinging to the edge, a weapon very nearly drawn to his hand. His eyes were wide with an instinctual panic, adrenaline rushing through his veins.
There was silence after the scream, that gave Ignis just enough time to calm down. Deep breath, deep breath. He had spent too long like a caged animal, able to rely on nothing but instinct at every unexpected noise. Jumpy didn’t even begin to describe what living in that hell of a prison had done to him, but it was the most simple word he could think of. Even now, having most of his wits back about him, it was very difficult for Iggy not to react like something was about to kill him.
Caius apologized and Ignis swallowed the lump in his throat, even as the adrenaline still roared hot in his limbs. With his nerves slowly settling, it struck the royal retainer how out of place Caius’s reaction was. Yes, he was a Kingsglaive and yes, he did clearly care for Noctis as more than perhaps duty bound him to be. To scream in what can only be described as surprise and abject horror, though … that was odd.
The other man’s breathing shifted, struggling and shaky. Ignis knew the pattern well enough. He may not have been able to see the tears, but he could tell that Caius was crying. His whisper was filled with venom and anger, which confused Iggy further. Clearly concerned, Ignis shifted to put his feet on the floor, leaning forward on the edge of the bed. Caius wasn’t too far – the chair was quite close to the bed – this way Iggy could reach him if necessary. He knitted his eyebrows together in confusion, but kept his expression soft, concerned as he listened to the Glaive rant, as if he weren’t even present.
There was a strange word in everything Caius said that stuck to Ignis’s mind like velcro. Us. Following what Ignis himself had told the Glaive regarding the prophecy, would that mean … Was Caius related to the Royal family? Such a thing only confused Iggy further as he hastily recalled the line of Lucis in his mind. That link could have existed in many places, in many ways, it would depend only on how far removed Caius potentially was to the main line. King Regis was known to have siblings. A cousin, perhaps? That would be the most direct relation, but Ignis had been with Noctis since he was a small child, and he never interacted with any cousins.
Then again, there were clearly different worlds and different timelines. There was no telling how many differences there could be between them.
Pushing his studious thoughts aside, Scientia focused instead on the immediate problem at hand. Caius was in anguish, and with each moment, it grew to stronger heights. A fire that burned brightly but would quickly burn out. If there was anything Ignis could do, it was help calm those with a level head. He quickly and purposefully pushed himself up from the hospital bed, ignoring the complaints from his legs as he did so. He caught Caius by the shoulders as the man paced, his grip purposefully too strong.
“Caius,” Iggy’s voice was sharp, but calm as he forced the taller man to remain in one place rather than pacing aimlessly, “Take a breath. Breathe. Follow my lead.”
It was one of the many ways to help someone out of a panic attack. Help them feel something to ground them – in this case his strong grip, and then have them focus on their breathing, helping their body come down naturally. Gently, Ignis led Caius back toward the chair and the window, but he didn’t force the man to sit. He merely kept a hand on his shoulder, to measure if he was managing to calm down.
He would allow Caius to calm down, before asking any further probing questions.
Post by Caius Dragelion on Oct 12, 2024 17:33:07 GMT -6
Caius Lucis Caelum
Ignis reached out and clamped Caius’ shoulders. For a moment, panicked instinct almost caused Caius to lash out. But his last dregs of rational thought stopped him, and his shoulders sank, hands slumped to his sides as Caius seemed to sober up in that moment. In his panic, he had completely forgotten that Ignis was even there. He had tried to keep a level head at first, but the more that the realization sank in, the worse it got. Caius had prided himself in being able to remain the level-headed one in any situation, able to keep calm and handle things objectively and logically. They were some of his best tools in becoming an excellent mercenary, in his opinion. But Caius wasn’t trained for, nor had the means to handle what was going on right now.
All of it was just… Too much. And perhaps Caius hadn’t helped his situation by spending all these years trying to help fix other people’s personal problems instead of looking inward and making a serious effort to tackle his own. He had been able to anchor many others while on Zephon, but in the end, he didn’t know how to anchor himself. Caius refused to admit it, but he had needed help for a very long time. But nobody around him had been able to provide that. Especially when it came to problems on Eos, he had been the one trying to solve everything and help others sort through it all. He was, technically, the older one. He needed to be the mature and level-headed presence who helped guide Noctis and Prompto in their endeavours, and ensure their prison break went smoothly. But Caius didn’t have anyone who could do the same for him when he struggled. Even with all the people around in, Caius had, in a sense, always been on his own – to fight those inner battles alone.
Noctis had tried to help, or at least had once everything went completely to shit, and he had appreciated it. But Noctis was just as lost as he was.
Caius stared at Ignis as his breathing began to slow with the realization of where he was. Following his lead, Caius tried to better regulate his breathing, in and out in more steady bursts instead of the rapidfire pace it had been going at. His hand moved to his left shoulder, which he hadn’t even fully processed until now had been hurting. It was also when he realized that he had been shaking like a leaf.
Eventually, Caius would sit down where he had been guided to of his own volition. His free hand had latched onto Ignis’ arm at some point in all this, and while he was embarrassed by it, he didn’t know if he wanted to let go either. But eventually his breathing started to hit slower levels, and his grip slacked until his hands fell onto his own lap.
“I’m sorry.”
It was the first he had spoken since Ignis had intervened. Caius was deeply ashamed of himself for what he had done. Ignis needed and had earned all the needed care in the world after what had been done to him, and here he was completely losing it. And a blind man, in pain himself, had to help him. Likely at great pains to himself.
“Bed is directly behind you, soft 180 angle.”
The voice that came out was weak, soft and quiet. But there came that side of Caius who was used to being the one to care for others. Who had to be the one to step in and help others wherever he could. His instruction came between breaths, but at least it was a sign he was starting to come down. As his awareness continued to rise, as did his shame, Caius took a deep breath while simultaneously wiping his face. It was a disgraceful way to be in the face of someone like Ignis, who had done so much. He held out an arm, then, to ensure Ignis would be able to return to his bed properly without losing his way or swaying and hitting something. Only lowering the arm when Ignis had found somewhere he was comfortable with, bed or not.
“I…”
How did he explain any of that? How did he explain that disgraceful display, any of it? Ignis barely knew him, and here he was having completely broken down. He didn’t know what to say, much less what to do. But Ignis was owed an explanation, so he had to try.
“I am a member of the family Lucis Caelum. I’ve known for about a day. We tried to commune with the Kings to beseech their aid. It didn’t go well, and it triggered a lot of lost or repressed memories. The… Prophecy – said Noctis will be the last King, the last of the Lucian line. My mother had lived a quiet existence in the Citadel for some time, but the deaths or disappearances of most of the Lucian line could not be ignored. In a desperate attempt to save my parents and their children, King Regis…”
It was still difficult to talk about, even when this was the third time now. Caius hesitated, as if speaking it would mean acknowledging it. But it had to be done. Ignis was owed that.
“... We had to disappear. Out of the public eye, like we never existed. But the fates made sure even that was in vain, my family was tortured and killed nonetheless. With none around to save them. There used to be people who showed up sometimes, talked to my mom for a bit, never bought anything. In hindsight were probably there to check in occasionally, but none visited anymore once the treaty was drafted and Lucis pulled back. My family died alone, slowly and horribly, by the hand of brigands a few years after the darkness came. Hired by one my father had made enemy of while in the King’s employ. And I myself was not safe from the fate intended for my family -- even after Lucis was saved. But I went of my own choice, knowing that as the prophecy dictated, Noctis would guide Lucis and its people into the future. I accepted that.”
He clenched his hands into fists, teeth gritted, but did take a deep breath as he tried to keep himself from going back to that place.
“Finding out they had intended Noctis to die too – averted or not, I just…”
His hands fell. He chewed the inside of his cheek. It went unsaid, but the fact he had mentioned “a day” meant he hadn’t had time to process any of it before Ignis had accidentally dropped that second bombshell.
