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year 5, quarter 3
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Post by Ardyn Izunia on Jun 11, 2024 5:16:20 GMT -6
Aljana — alas, Ardyn had finally found reprieve beyond the scorching sands and dilapidated structures scattered amongst the desert. Oh, the smile he heralds was akin to tasting the fineries that this realm offered, and that’s purely from the delight of being able to walk on pavement! He was accustomed to the passing glances, something Eos had in droves. But this was different since he was, as they call his ilk, an outlander. Oh yes, since his arrival, the former chancellor had an inquisitive exchange with one of the locals and learnt quite a few things, all of which got boiled down into the fuel that kept his curiosity firmly alit.
The emergence of souls, it seems, was at random; of the two encounters he has had thus far, one hailed from a foreign world whereas the other… that train of thought was abruptly stuffed into the furthest recesses of his mind, for now. No need to spoil his mood, of course, especially in a new world rife with things to learn.
In truth, his surroundings themselves captivated him. Ardyn could scarcely remember any lands in Eos emboldened in such a foreign aesthetic. Not that he would pass judgement — someone dressed in the eccentric raiment like him never could, lest they be judged for narcissism. He was many things, most of which very few could fathom, but a narcissist was not one of them. In fact, ever the curious spirit, he’d almost forgotten how long he endured the blistering heat, the scorching rays and almost endless sea of sands… Ardyn felt a mite parched.
Retreating from the rays of sun dancing across the city of Aljana, the adagium found himself inside a small food market complete with a vendor for various sorts of liquids. The patron, of course, eyed Ardyn with a hesitant curiosity as he approached the stand, sporting that ever lucrative smile. “Good day to you, sir. Do forgive the appearance— I understand seeing someone in garbs such as this might seem ludicrous. But might I be so bold as to trouble you for a pittance of water? My travels were long and surprisingly, I find myself rather famished.”
Post by Caius Dragelion on Jun 11, 2024 6:05:27 GMT -6
Crapbaskets/div]
Unfortunately, the vendor was out of actual water. Thus was reality in the desert city of Aljana, isolated as it was. The resource was scarce enough for its people, much less suspicious strangers.
“Here, take my canteen — I have extra. You need to cycle vendors a bit to find water. It’s best to bring more than you think you’ll need.”
This was a reality Caius had learned the last time he was here, as he held out the spare canteen to the stranger in strange black clothes. Caius detested Aljana, as much as he was used to Torensten the heat here was beyond unbearable. Caius would always thank His Majesty for his abilities whenever he came out here, considering the glaive could hold a lot of canteens, and kept them preserved. Otherwise this would be far more difficult. Even then, he didn’t like coming out here and would avoid it if he could. But there had been a pretty distressed message sent out to the Dragonblades, and with no official base for them out there, help was difficult to find.
So despite everything he had going on right now, Caius had made the difficult trek out. It was pretty common for him to see outlanders end up here and struggle to find water, and he didn’t want to imagine how many had died out in this suffocating heat. Since he had his glaive, he brought enough water to accommodate for that. This wouldn’t be the first of possible lives he had saved by doing this, and even if they weren’t in danger, it was the least he could do for a wandering stranger.
“I would swap out the black clothes, though. You won’t retain water as well in them during the day. Pack them until the night falls” Caius advised about a few seconds before the figure would presumably turn around, and the face staring back at him caused Caius to go pale within moments of the canteen moving from his hands to Ardyn’s.
Perhaps immortalizing “Ardyn Izunia, AKA Ardyn Lucis Caelum” in a holographic record, smug face and all, had been His Majesty’s noble attempt to do right by a man whom had claimed to be erased from history. To allow him to rest, forevermore. But this meant Caius, who had spent far too much time studying the archives, knew that face very well.
He quietly slipped from his pack and took a sip from a different canteen, but even without the heat addling his senses? Nope, Ardyn was still standing right there. Did it really have to be here, of all places? But Caius knew that if he didn’t act… Even if here, alone, it was unwise… Others would suffer. But he knew that he had to be sure. So he claimed a name he knew would get the needed reaction.
Post by Ardyn Izunia on Jun 12, 2024 20:30:28 GMT -6
Seeing the canteen emerging from his peripherals, the starscourge couldn’t help but observe it for a minute instance — whoever was offering it managed to approach Ardyn with scant little to give away their presence. Oh, the ponder he would stifle in the presence of a refreshing beverage, however. It was no wine, but that would only be sullied by the humid air that careens throughout the realm of Aljana, and he’s suffered the fires of Ifrit himself to make such a bold claim.
“Thank you,” replied Ardyn offering a small turn to face the kind soul alleviating his hydrated woes. Though pallid in the face, he didn’t think much before reciprocating the exchange by taking the aforementioned canteen from their person. “Unfortunately, I am without the means to afford a new attire, let alone contain it. But fret not, while such a task is infinitesimal, it might surprise you when I say this heat is not the worst I’ve suffered. Excuse me.”
Pardoning himself, he would spare the other from watching him quench his thirst, resulting in turning away for a while as he began loosening the lid off the canteen. But just as he was about to lift it, just as Ardyn would soon bask in the taste of that cool and delightfully refreshing glint of water, his body slowed to an absolute halt when he heard that name. Alas, the early ponder he stowed away reared itself with this newfound piece to the puzzle. No wonder Ardyn didn’t sense them, for they too were touched by the magic of old kings, which would explain that ghoulish pale countenance when they looked at one another… but what blasphemous irony— ailing he who plunged Eos into an endless night. Others might be racked with a pang of hesitation or even fear in such moments? But not Ardyn, no…
He smiled.
Lowering the canteen, his back remained facing the possible assailant. Such a brazen move for what could possibly transpire, and yet he so brazenly does so because of the numerous casualties that could get swept up in their heated exchange. Not only that, is this individual willing to drag everyone into this farce if it ultimately affords them nothing in the face of Ardyn’s potentially intact immortality? Cruel as he was, making an enemy of a city isn’t in his list of things… for now, at least. “Ah, I see how it is.” Ardyn’s words were calm yet so chillingly sterile from the usual emotions he employs, “Only a few were privy to that name— fewer acknowledging its existence. Even the late King Regis only knew me as the Adagium, the greatest and dirtiest secret the first king could not rid themselves of.”
“So, how shall this play out?” The question, tinged with a mellifluous tune he played so well into, was soon followed by Ardyn turning in full to face the fellow denizen of Eos as they would behold the smile held aloft even after the stark discovery. “While I am without desire to lay waste to this land, I cannot promise the wellbeing of these citizens should you wish to pursue a conflict.” Ardyn knew his words could be moot against the likes of this man… yet he, as the rest of these fine city folk, would pay to find out if he wanted to call the starscourge’s bluff.
Post by Caius Dragelion on Jun 12, 2024 20:58:59 GMT -6
Caius Lucis Caelum
Caius knew it was coming. How many people just like this slime had he met by now? The threat against the well-being of Aljana’s people barely even seemed to register. It concerned him, sure. Especially when he knew that Adagium was fully capable of wiping this city out. But he was just so used to it by now. Scumbags with no regard for life, more than happy to threaten the well being of innocents to get what they wanted. It was actually kind of boring… Yet it boiled his blood all the same.
The Kingsglaive knew he was at a disadvantage. No Dragonblades here, no Vordun, no backup, no Noctis. But if he didn’t act now, he would wreak unfathomable harm on others, just as he had in Eos. Yet, he knew he had to be cautious too. He didn’t want to let these people be caught in the crossfire. So how-
His gaze darted towards the very confused vendor standing nearby. And he immediately pointed at Ardyn.
“He turns people into daemons.”
Well, that was enough to send the vendor running. It wouldn’t take long for that to spread and people to thin out. But to ensure that Adagium didn’t pursue…
The focus had to be on him.
And with that realization, a small smile crossed the corner of his complexion.
“Is that any way to speak to your own flesh and blood?”
Caius materialized his sword in a flash of glowing blue light, openly showing off the Power of Kings as he let Ardyn register what he had just said. That information, that heritage, that he loathed so much… As much as he hated to speak of it, to own it. It was the only way. “Believe it or not, I know why you did what you did. My time here has brought me to meetings with people from across time… Including one who witnessed the crowning of the Founder King. But it doesn’t change the fact you laid waste to Eos without care for who you harmed.”
He couldn’t pay back the kings, or the gods, for what they had done to his family. But he could sure as hell take his pound of flesh from one of the people responsible.
Post by Ardyn Izunia on Jun 20, 2024 16:50:33 GMT -6
Whilst the denizens of this small market fled in a mixture of fear and example, the two men stared each other down. At first, there was a pause, a window of grace where Ardyn would let this flagrant protector say his piece, as per the script between a hero and their villain would dictate, of course. But then he mentioned their blood ties— that urged a cant of the head as he’d tilt it to the side whilst a brow was offered in curiosity. Why single out such a detail? True, ambered orbs widened at the crystalline emergence of the man’s weapon, but he was no king of old or even the prophesied chosen one either— just another bacterium belonging to the same ilk. What was he hoping to accomplish? Perhaps to spark the flames of that dark tempest? Whoever they were, it did indeed get a rise out of the adagium… just not the one they were hoping for.
“How fascinating— you would condemn this city to ruin in the name of revenge?” The whirling thoughts that danced in his mind; from the tar black hole left in Aljana’s wake to the potential recuperation of the daemons he has since lost? This supposed kin was willing to incite the same chaos that once befell all of Eos? The interim of silence would be shattered by a hearty laugh. His head had reeled back to a small degree, lapping up this moment of utter amusement before looking back to the man. “Oh, perhaps we are family, after all.” His tone still registered hints of splendour and enjoyment over the irony. Are all the Lucis men so eager to sate their selfish desires, hells be damned to those around them?
“If you insist on this exchange, then I am afraid Aljana shall suffer the same fate Eos has, and yet… where I offer a pittance for their woes, you're adamant that I reenact such a horrid scene for our new audience.” Ardyn offered an intentionally patronising tut-tut and shake of the head shortly after his comment. In no world, whether this one or theirs, is Ardyn the cowering type. If he wanted to, Aljana could very well become the grotto for his daemons. But he relents, just as he relents from showing the difference between a morsel of the power of kings compared to the boon he has amassed and mastered.
To further emphasise this crucial difference, Ardyn once again turns around and breaks into a sloths pace, walking away with gestures to and fro as he adds, “Perhaps one should permit some caution into that swirling pool of indignation. Only the true king can smite this infernal form, after all— lest you wish to throw your life away and drag those dearest to you into the slaughter, as well.”
There was a sliver of hope the other lucian picked up on the implications of what his ineffable failure entails. Come what may, his life, the city of Aljana and any stragglers that flock to him, shall be on his head… and is he without a heart to weigh such heft?
Post by Caius Dragelion on Jun 21, 2024 6:15:47 GMT -6
Caius Lucis Caelum
Caius had hoped that he could use Ardyn’s apparent bloodlust for the royal line against him, but Ardyn did not seem to share the same hot-blooded hatred towards him that Caius held for Adagium, instead it didn’t even seem to phase him. Perhaps it was because Ardyn knew he likely wasn’t chosen? Was that what he was after, the prophecy? The same one Caius abhorred?
That… Figures, actually. The gods, crystal and his own family line didn’t care for him to be worth much. Why should Ardyn? Yet, Caius actually laughed, just a bit, at Ardyn’s insinuation this was merely revenge. “I’m not above wanting to carve you to ribbons for your part in things. But that satisfaction would be just a bonus.”
He hated to admit, though — Ardyn was right that it was unwise to risk the civilian populace here. Amongst Ardyn’s childish taunts, there was a speck of truth there. But Caius took a breath and did his best to keep his calm, even amongst the harsh pounding of his heart. Deep down, he wanted to tear Ardyn to shreds right here and now. But he needed to play his cards right. “You act as though you wouldn’t have harmed them anyway. You want me to believe you’ve suddenly grown a conscience after years of senseless slaughter?” Caius retorted in kind. With that thought, he paced to and fro as the wheels began to work. As angry as he was…
“Never could understand it, myself. Even now, when I realized I probably could have turned out like you. My family was essentially exiled, and wound up brutally slaughtered without aid in sight when the night came — all because the great and wise King of Lucis, and our so-called gods, decided they thought they knew what was right. No matter who they decided had to be sacrificed for it. It set me on a path that consumed my life, only to die for the very royal family that doomed myself and everyone I had ever loved.”
After a long pause, he breathed, then he just… Shrugged. “I despise what they’ve done. But they’re gone now. Sure, I could have taken it out on Noctis, but what’s the point of that? It’d have been beyond pathetic to take it out on innocent people over some stupid prophecy and the choices of the dead.”
As Ardyn strolled away, however, he would find the streets had emptied while his attention had been taken. The one man had spread the message, and who knew where the others had run and hid? Had Caius been stalling Ardyn to make time for this? Though even Caius knew that this wouldn’t last forever. Soldiers would stumble upon them eventually. But it did give him time, if it did come to conflict. If they started fighting now, he could limit collateral damage.
But as much as he wanted to attack now, if Ardyn was from the same time as Noctis, only Noctis coming into his own as King would allow him to banish Ardyn for good. Caius knew and understood this. As much as he hated to admit it, he probably couldn’t kill Ardyn here. Why? Because he wasn’t chosen. It wasn’t for him to accomplish. Why did that have to be thrown in his face at every turn? He didn’t even want the throne, he just wanted to stab Ardyn in his stupid face and then he never comes back. Why did this stupid prophecy have to make things stupid complicated? But every impulse was telling him to try anyway. Especially when he still couldn’t let Ardyn roam free and wreak havoc.
Yet Caius knew he had to use his head, even if his heart wanted to fight. How did he play this?
“On that thought. What exactly do you intend to do now?” was the first thought to be made verbal. “There’s no Lucis here to strike against. No Astrals enforcing prophecy, their hold over us forfeit. I don’t even know if either of us can go back. I’ve built a new life here — I don’t suppose starting over’s on your to-do list?”
Post by Ardyn Izunia on Jun 30, 2024 0:06:48 GMT -6
“Says he who was willing to raze this place to prove that point.” A barbed tongue such as his could not be matched, nor could it bested in swiftness either, but this would-be relative’s meanderings were lost on Ardyn, as evident when he allowed his eyes to dawdle about in observation. He’d eventually chuckle at that appalling reach of commonality, however. With a sardonic tone, he looks back at the glaive and replies, “Please, you presume too much of yourself.” Peppered words would undoubtedly sting the man— try as the man in black might to restrain his delight in twisting the proverbial knife. The glaive only just now stemmed their desires for conflict, so Ardyn will play nice to ensure it stays that way for a time.
To and fro, his attention wavered, soaking in the sights as some of the nearby denizens, hidden as they were, poked their heads from cover with a tinge of curiosity to see what would unfold. It wasn’t until the man stated a valid and rather enticing question that Ardyn would pause, frozen between one moment in the next as his thoughts spooled around the vast possibilities.
What will the scourge of Eos do without an Eos to scourge?
With it posed in such an intricate and delectable fashion, it had inadvertently meant that Ardyn, at this point in time, was without purpose. His prior speculations were set in stone with the other’s statement— the astral’s grip appeared tenuous at best, enough that even one of their own fell from grace (but he’ll omit that detail). Perhaps in a realm governed by another echelon of so-called gods, they aren’t fond of foreign interference. Ardyn even indulged the humorously naive idea that these gods had their— as the young prince would put it, shit together. But that is a stretch Ardyn won’t credulously reach for, not until he saw for himself. Blind faith was never his strong suit, after all.
“I must confess, the answer currently eludes me.” Albeit the context, he didn’t seem entirely fazed by the misfortune. Usually this whole scenario would be met with despondence, hopeless or even ignorant rebellion. But if one thing was well noted about Ardyn is that he’s hard to read. Perhaps some millennia will flatten out those initial and reflexive emotions. “Oh well,” he feigned defeat with a light shrug, “— suppose I ought to see more of this world for myself and gauge its architects for myself.”
Post by Caius Dragelion on Jul 2, 2024 12:37:22 GMT -6
Caius Lucis Caelum
Caius couldn’t help a small grin as Ardyn taunted him. Was he? Was he really? He didn’t bother to give Ardyn an answer, he didn’t really deserve one. His hatred for the man was so intense already that he didn’t even care about Ardyn’s taunts. He just wanted to kill him, wanted to punish him until he moved no more. Until all that he cared for were safe, and perhaps then… That stupid prophecy wouldn’t have to come to pass. If Ardyn died here, someway, somehow, Noctis could go home and perhaps the scourge would be gone.
Ah, if only. Considering how things seemed to be working, there was probably another Ardyn waiting for Noctis upon his return. That just seemed to be Caius’ luck, really. There was a good chance that this Ardyn was stuck here, the same as Caius was. Even Caius couldn’t deny that it was fairly likely. Perhaps that was the inkling in the back of his mind that had prompted his question. A single string of rationality behind that paranoid, hatred-consumed mind. He had spent all this time preparing to fight, preparing to get civilians out of the way so he could attempt to take Ardyn out for good, but deep down even Caius knew it was unlikely that it would go his way.
He didn’t know what made Ardyn immortal, and whether it worked here or not. If he incited a conflict here, he couldn’t protect all the civilians forever. It had to be a last resort. A last resort that Caius had been convinced was going to be necessary from the jump until Ardyn admitted that even he didn’t know what he could do now.
Finally, Caius allowed himself to take a deep breath. He pushed, and pushed and pushed some more until the fires were smothered, at least for the time being. He had been under a mortifying amount of stress lately, finding out his heritage and just what that entailed… And now finding Ardyn here? It had been more than he could take. In those moments, he could admit that if Ardyn had attacked now, he wouldn’t have even minded if it meant he had the chance to kill him.
He allowed his arms to fall to his sides. Never fully off guard, no, but it was at least a sign that he had given some silent agreement to cease hostilities for the time being.
“Then come with me.”
What?
Caius asked himself, deep down, that same question as soon as it left his lips. He allowed his sword to disappear as he calmed himself down. This plan was reckless, foolhardy… But it might be the only choice he had.
“Cross the desert with me and see it. I won’t lie to you, I despise you. Everything you’ve done, it’s unforgivable. But…”
He couldn’t believe what he was saying either. He wiped his mouth, realizing he had been chewing his lip too hard when he tasted his own blood. Another breath. Caius didn’t like this one bit, even if it was his own idea. But he needed to get Ardyn out of Aljana. There was no Dragonblades presence here, he couldn’t protect them forever if Ardyn stuck around if he decided to start rampaging.
“... There are people that I love more. And as much as I want to personally rip your throat out? I can’t deny that you were screwed. By your insufferable prick of a brother, and by Eos’ selfish, egotistical gods who see our lives like toys.”
Those horrible memories he had been forced to relive in the Ring flashed back before him again, and he found his gaze darting downward. A small part of him almost wanted to leave him here just so he would leave his home and those he cared about alone, but he knew that wasn’t possible. People would suffer, and die, and he would come for those cities eventually. At least outside here, there was Celes, and Yuna. The other Dragonblades, plus Keimuosho, the others… Even stupid Alex, if Ardyn was a threat to his stuff. They were strong, and could at least hold Ardyn away from the major cities if he attacked. And of course, Noctis and his retinue were here. If anyone had a chance of finding a way to take Ardyn down, it was them. And if he could avert the need for it altogether? It begrudged him to say it, but… It would be better. Either way, Caius had to deal with it now, or later.
He chose now.
“I won’t go so far as to say you deserve a damn thing. But… I’ve done things that I’m not proud of. And yet, this world gave me a chance to start over. Gave me the life that was taken from me on Eos. If…”
Gods, he couldn’t believe he was saying this.
“If it keeps this world safe. I’ll help you look, maybe even start over. And… I want to learn more about this world’s gods anyway.”
Post by Ardyn Izunia on Jul 9, 2024 0:22:42 GMT -6
How curious. Ardyn entertained the proposition — the audible part of it, at least. Once the other man ceased their pandering, if you could call it that, all that came was a swat of the hand with a light and dismissible chuckle before finally offering a mite retort. “Your pillowtalk is lackadaisical at best and uninspiring at worst.” What was their game? An extension of benevolence that belies their wariness, most likely. This unlikely alliance yielded naught any fruit worth bearing, something Ardyn readily addressed. “As for your skills in parley, I suggest you stick to idle threats.” True, it wasn’t wise for Ardyn to insult the man’s intelligence, but the insult of thinking this nonsense would see fruition warrants it.
When the man in black elaborated, he would raise his hands to motion whatever emphasis was necessary. “It is, after all, a partial proposition. You extend your hand not out of compassion, but caution. You dare not imagine what would portend by letting me out of your site, so you would rather I remain close, lest I decide to misbehave. It’s all a rather dull take on the adage of keeping one’s enemy close. Besides…” paused Ardyn, letting one of those hands elevate itself to his neck where he teased with a simple scratch and pull of skin before stating, “I’ve long since made it a habit not to make deals with someone who wants to— as you so eloquently put it, rip my throat out. So I must kindly decline the offer.”
Ardyn maintained a rather unprofound expression throughout his postulation. Could it be that such a circumstance failed to deter him? Or maybe he was amused at the prospect to begin with? A myriad of possibilities that would ne’er leave his lips. But the silence that followed was interrupted by, surprise surprise, Ardyn. Although, what he brought up next might catch the other off-guard.
“But in light of your earlier hospitality, I propose a counter offer—— given my desires to see this world and its overseers, what have you, I shall try and adhere to a modicum of pacifism during such time.” No sooner when Ardyn stated this did he lift an idle finger and added, “If, however, I am pursued and forced to conflict, then and only then shall I act.” His word most likely fell flat against them, given his… prolific nature. But in the end, what choice did Caius have?
From one gesture to another, the man in black motioned to a light shrug of the hands before asking, “Given the circumstances, I believe that to be the best course of action henceforth, no?”
Post by Caius Dragelion on Jul 10, 2024 19:54:40 GMT -6
Caius Lucis Caelum
And of course, Ardyn derided his “negotiation” skill. Then declined his offer based off that. Caius wasn’t really surprised, if he was being honest with himself. He had figured the whole thing was a long shot to begin with, and Caius wasn’t really attempting any amount of “pillow talk” to begin with. Ardyn was lucky he wasn’t trying to kill him at this very moment. Of course, Ardyn claimed he knew what Caius’ game was. That part, and that he didn’t make deals with someone who wanted to rip his throat out, actually got a small laugh out of him. “Would you rather I lie to you? Insult your intelligence by politicking to you with a knife behind my back?” Caius answered candidly. There was no point in it, and he was sure even Ardyn could appreciate a bit of honesty. Still, he shrugged at that. “But I get it. You have no reason to expect compassion from me, even if you’re only half right about my reasons.”
Caius doubted the gods had sent Ardyn here without a means to kill him. Otherwise he would have been better off in Eos where the prophecy could have ended him permanently and ensure he would not return. Sure, he could have left Ardyn here while he searched for that means, but it wasn’t worth the body count that would ensue. And honestly?
He was tired of playing things the way the Kings, and their gods, would have wanted. As much as he wanted to kill him, Ardyn being permanently neutralized as a threat peacefully was better. Caius had decided during his heart-to-heart with Noctis that he would protect Zephon from the starscourge his own way. And this was the way he had decided to do it.
Ardyn proposed a counter-offer, however, and after a bit of thought, Caius gave a short nod. Surprising, perhaps, and Caius wasn’t sure if he trusted it. But he had little choice, either. After all, it gave him the time that he needed. Even if he did, genuinely — deep down — hope that time and measures wouldn’t be necessary.
“Deal,” Caius answered after a deep breath. “So long as you cause no harm to provoke it, and the scourge does not spread by your hand, I will do my best to ensure my comrades will not attack you.”
Simple terms. If Ardyn didn’t cause trouble, Caius would not give him trouble. He couldn’t guarantee every warrior in Zephon wouldn’t, but so long as Ardyn kept his word there probably wouldn’t be any problems. This was the best arrangement for them both, he could admit. Ardyn was granted some freedom, while Zephon’s people were unharmed for the time being. Caius cocked his head out into the desert. “At the least, I can aid you in getting out of the desert. Immortal as you are, it would still be wrong to let you suffer out there. Instead of posturing and making verbal assurances, I would prefer to show sincerity through action.”
He deserved to rot in the desert, to suffer for as long as he had made Eos suffer. But Caius refused to stoop to that level. And if Caius wanted Ardyn to understand he was serious about holding up his end, he needed to be willing to show that. Words meant nothing when both had dealt with naught but deception. “You don’t have to accept my help, that’s fine. But if you do, I actually wanted to ask you something, if you would humor me along the way” came what might be a surprising remark of his own. He didn’t quite like asking Ardyn of all people, but considering the circumstances? It was an opportunity nonetheless. “Your side. I want to know more about what happened that day. The Lucian Royal Family has kept enough secrets, and I’m sick of them.”
Caius chewed the inside of his cheek, unsure of how to say this. But ultimately decided to just be blunt once more. “And while you have no reason to believe me. Part of me does want to understand. To understand you, and what they did to you.”