Caius had a reason for being so adamant about being involved in questioning Yuna before Alex specifically, and it wasn’t just being overprotective this time around. But that would have to wait, because suddenly Alex’s other personality would make his return, annoyingly loud and all. Had they been through this before? Because this felt very familiar, a lot like how he had been with Prompto, in fact.

As he talked, Caius moved between bouts of visibly thinking back on their previous confrontation, and also blinking in confusion at some points that were made as if he didn’t really understand or think they were anywhere near the mark. Caius let Alex get it all out of his system, though he made some space when Alex, regardless of being transparent or not, got too close. Because unlike Prompto, Caius really wasn’t someone who was going to entertain someone getting too close if he wasn’t comfortable with such. Patience alone was the only reason he didn’t try to at least see if Alex was real by slugging him in the mouth.

This was somehow still better than the shady act, though. This was more open and clear, and Caius liked it better that way.

“So much for not acting out without research. And has anyone told you that you have a serious multi-personality problem?” Caius remarked right back, sounding as tired as he felt. But even he knew that snark wasn’t going to get them anywhere, and the mercenary let out a long side as he resigned himself to just trying to be open. This was just a mess of misunderstandings and impressions in ways that he honestly couldn’t even understand half of when it came to Alex’s.

“… Ok. I can admit to being a touch paranoid and had been expecting you to pull one out on me the minute I said I wouldn’t let you harm Yuna,” Caius admitted softly then, chewing the inside of his mouth. “I have spent a lot of time dealing with people who will or have jumped me at the drop of a hat. And a lot of them suddenly change drastically shortly before doing so. Which is what you did. So I’ve spent this entire time waiting for you to attack first and was genuinely under the impression I was going to have to defend myself while trying to keep Yuna safe.”

But he had assumed based off history. And even if he couldn’t verify if Alex was lying, there was a chance he wasn’t. Which meant Caius had drawn prematurely. “Which… Yeah. I shouldn’t have drawn. I got protective and when you acted like that, instinct kicked in. It doesn’t excuse it.”

But Alex did in fact intend to kill Yuna if things didn’t pan out. So his radar wasn’t entirely off. Still, he had acted prematurely. He could admit to that fault.

“But… Ahh. How do I explain this…” he mused aloud, sheepishly scratching his head. “I… Don’t think like you do on things like public perception, or trying to be a hero, or things like that. You talk about narratives and trying to justify bad guys, making myself look such and such. Or about who is “better” than who. Being some kind of viper trying to manipulate things that… Well, the things you said. Maybe this is going to sound crazy, but I don’t… Really care about that stuff? Or even understand every detail of what you’re saying. Does that make sense?” Caius did his best to elaborate on a subject he’d never really had to get into before. Nobody had asked about his thoughts about fame or heroics, or given him reason to talk about it.

“Fame and being seen as heroes? That works for the Dragonblades, I can acknowledge that fact at least. When people need the aid of mercenaries as an escort or to handle an issue, they know our people can handle it. That makes it easier for the people in my employ to live and pursue their dreams. When there’s a serious emergency… We get contacted right away and those of us who genuinely just want to help people; we get to be there hopefully at a time where we can save lives. That’s good, and I am grateful people trust us to ensure we get there in time. Because so many of us just…”

He sucked in a breath. He didn’t want to look vulnerable in front of Alex of all people. But he was just going to have to suck in his pride and say it.

“We don’t want to watch all over again as people go through what we did, or worse. Many of us just want to be the person that we wish had been there for us. You can say that’s wanting to be seen as a hero, but I don’t really care what label that brings. I could care less if I have fame or glory or what I’m considered. So long as I can keep spending each day protecting and helping people the best I can. So long as I can protect those I cherish as well. That’s what I care about.”

That had been… Wordier, than he had imagined it. And it was way more information than what he would want to share with a guy who had presented himself as a threat to his friend. But he also understood that they were only getting anywhere if Alex understood where Caius’ head was at. A task he wasn’t used to undertaking, but the mercenary was trying.

“That protectiveness admittedly slipped out when I… Yeah. Lost my cool. Sorry about that” came another apology on the matter, and Caius averted his gaze a bit as he was again unsure about being this candid. “I got protective when it came to Prompto, but tried to hold it in. For the mission’s sake. For their sake. But all I did was let it fester. And today has been… A problem, when it comes to holding my temper.”

Twice in one day. Losing it at Alex? Fine. But at Noctis on top of it? He didn’t know what was happening. He had always been in control of his emotions, why had it changed now?

He took a deep breath and settled himself as he looked to Alex again. “For what it’s worth. I don’t think you deserved to be shot. You did have the loud scolding coming though, no offense. But you didn’t deserve for me to yell at you. Or Noctis, either.”

Caius wouldn’t forget what Alex had tried to do to Cindy, no matter how much Alex's personality shifted. He had entirely brought that on himself, then had decided to humiliate Prompto in response. Caius wouldn’t pretend that hadn’t happened regardless of circumstances.

Nor pretend he hadn’t yelled at Alex himself. No matter how stressed he’d gotten, or how much Alex pushed…

… Okay, he deserved it a little. Still, Caius knew he should have kept his cool. Thinking about it frustrated him. A lot of this frustrated him, in fact. He was confused, frustrated, and just very, very tired of today. And he wasn’t really capable of hiding that fact right now.

“But if I’m being honest? You want to know what would be the highlight of my night? Finding a place to crash and sleeping off this headache. So I can try to untangle how the hell to handle this very big thing we’re about to do. And Ardyn, or Adagium, or whatever now running around blighting people with the literal demon plague that turned people into daemons, blotted out the sun for close to half my lifetime. That even in another world I can’t escape. And now?”

Caius threw his hands up. “Eikons. One of which may be in my friend. Who you aren’t doing a very good job of assuring me will be safe if it turns out that’s not an egi. THAT’S where my mind is right now. Not glory, or heroism or “presenting” myself as… Whatever it is you just said. I don’t give a damn about those things. I don’t even like people staring at me everywhere I go. I was a bloody chocobo farmer, not a crown prince raised to be ready for this sh!t. I just… Want people to be safe. My friends to be safe. Ignis and Gladiolus to be safe.”

If he didn’t already feel like he was going to throw up from what he had already, he’d be tempted to walk right back to Seventh Heaven at this point. But what he really wanted, and needed, was sleep. But he’d never sleep well with everything he was worrying endlessly about, he knew. That was the kicker, wasn’t it?

“That’s it. I don’t know how that’s difficult to understand. But you don’t. And… Neither do a lot of people” his voice continued to quieten, as it had been throughout, had flurried a bit when his frustration had built up, then faded back in stride with his increasing mental fatigue. “They built a statue. That’s terrifying. They expect me to be something that I don’t think I am, and don’t know if I could ever be. They say strange things, mock up strange stories. Use words I don’t know. And I don’t understand any of it.”

But that didn’t really matter right now. His feelings never mattered. What did matter was what was necessary.

“Cards on the table. No bullsh!t. I want Yuna to be safe. I want to protect those sick and injured people in that clinic who would be harmed if Shiva tempered, or if you went for the kill. Yuna’s never done anything wrong and those people are innocent as well. Can you please work with me to do that? Because we both want the same thing. To keep one of your world’s “Eikons” away from innocent people, if they are indeed willing and able to do as you say. If possible, without bloodshed.”

"Never seen one like that before. Has anyone told you it makes you look extremely suspicious?"

Caius was trying not to snark, but Alex's excuse for his behavior wasn't making it easy. But after all that, it seemed Alex still didn't understand how Caius felt. It was what it was, he knew. Alex was clearly bitter at the world and unable to see anything beyond his own selfishness and that of others. Not that Caius didn't have selfish desires, but they typically didn't get in the way of things. While Caius didn't see himself as a hero, Alex didn't seem to be able to process that Caius did what he did because he wanted to, and that was all there was to it.

He didn't understand what he meant by "first time in a decade I can be Alex" though, so that just got a blank stare. He said that he was "him in ten years, so get used to it", and while it made Caius slightly curious of Alex's history, he wasn't curious enough to ask right now. "I've already seen my ten years of suffering, I understand what that can do to someone. I didn't come out of it great, but I'll make it work by the next decade. It's all I can do" he answered calmly at that. Perhaps it was cryptic, but that was for Alex to parse through.

Apology not accepted, told to fornicate with himself, and more lack of ability to accept what Caius had said. What did that get? A shrug. Caius had told the truth of himself. If Alex couldn't accept it, that was his problem. Caius didn't care how Alex saw him. He wanted Alex to understand where he came from so they could help Yuna and the others, but if he was literally unable to comprehend it, then it was what it was. Caius wasn't here to defend himself to Alex some notion he was some kind of hero.

But then Alex moved to a topic that caused Caius to raise a brow. "I thought we were talking about Yuna" he commented, but otherwise let Alex go on. "Somehow I think our world's starscourge and daemons might be a little different. I don't even know what Holy is. I'll ask Noctis next I see him though, he'd know more than either of us" was all Alex got in return after that big plot dump.

But instead of focusing on the actual subject, Yuna, Alex had pivoted entirely to trying to manipulate Caius based off the fact he'd snapped at Noctis earlier over Lumina. Caius' brows furrowed into a glare as he realized what Alex was referring to. Lumina's condition was a very sore spot for him, and he didn't quite like Alex throwing it in his face. But then he began to consider what Alex was saying...

And his expression lit up for a moment as he actually, perhaps to Alex's horror, began to consider the idea.

"Do you think I could?"

If Alex was testing him, it didn't seem to register with him at all. While Caius knew Alex was likely just being a demeaning little prick, the same as he had been to Prompto, the idea was...

Caius paced about a bit, beginning to try to formulate a plan. Alex would be able to catch bits and pieces as he spoke to himself a bit aloud.

"No light magic, but my kings power was able to push it back a bit. I don't have as much as a Lucian King, but..." he muttered, his tiredness actually seeming to fade away for a moment as he became absorbed in the possibility he could cure Lumina. "It's risky, high chance I could die from it. But if it's the only way... If Ardyn was able to absorb it... Sure he turned into a world-threatening monster, but I'm not a lucian king like he was... And if it's just one person, maybe..."

He stopped. His face contorted into one of frustration as he seemed to hit a roadblock.

"Damnit. No, that won't work, I forgot. If it was still in its base form, there'd be a chance, but not now... It'd just make it worse. Even if I succeeded, it'd make me a bigger risk than she was if it does turn out to be able to spread... I'd be more resistant than her, but I wouldn't be able to push it back like I can with her. That'd put the burden on Noctis and Prompto, and if it can spread it'd just spread back to her, and..."

His hands balled into fists as he seemed to realize the plan wouldn't work. There was some silence as he quietly, wordlessly ran through a few scenarios in his head, but nothing worked out. For a moment, he shot Alex the biggest glare, his anger beginning to flare back up as he opened his mouth to give Alex a piece of his mind...

But nothing of the kind came out. Caius let out a long sigh. In that moment, he looked even more tired than before as he was unable to even remotely hide it anymore.

"No. You're not to blame for me getting my hopes up. You don't know what's happened."

The truth was, Caius was stressed from end to end and he really needed to sleep it off. For several days, even. But that wasn't going to happen.

Then something came to him, and he lowered his head a moment in thought, hand running through his hair a moment -- a tick.

"But if I can push it back like I can... While I don't have strong enough magic to push it out entirely, or absorb it without just making things worse..."

He looked to Alex for a moment.

"No, you'd be at risk if it can spread. Can't guarantee your light magic would work either. Can't do that to you. But with another Power of Kings user, maybe together it's possible to force it out and into the open..."

He remembered what pushing it back had done to Lumina, however, and he grimaced at the thought. Caius loosed a low groan coupled with a sigh as he held his head. That headache was getting worse.

"I'll keep your idea as a possibility" he spoke to Alex then. "I'll find out what Noctis and his friends know. If this were the Noctis from my time, or if the Oracle was still alive, this would be a lot easier. But while you're just being demeaning, it did give me an idea, so thanks I guess."

Though there was still some unfinished business.

"As for Yuna, I haven't forgotten your plan either. Did you forget where I said she works that you tried to prevent recruiting for? A clinic. A healing clinic. Full of the sick and wounded, many dying. She’s up to her ears in patients because she can’t bring herself to charge people who are suffering and in pain. Hell, it was trying to offset her being overloaded from working alone that -you- tried to sabotage. Point is? There’s a lot of people. And if Shiva isn’t an egi and thinks it’s under threat… What do you think is going to happen if you just storm in there? Yuna knows you as the guy who tried to knacker up her clinic, if the Shiva in her is sentient, it's going to see you as a threat immediately if you go in and start making demands. What's probably going to happen? A lot of people are going to be tempered, and you're going to turn into a butcher."

Caius pointed to himself, then. “What I've been trying to tell you this whole time is that if I go in first. Yuna has no reason to consider me a threat, it stands to reason neither does Shiva. All Yuna knows is I recognized the shape to resemble one of my world’s Astrals. I was inevitably going to ask more, and probably would have when I saw it if we didn’t have bigger problems at the time. If I can gather information safely, away from innocents, we may be able to avert conflict. If not, then at the least we can plan our next move from what we learn.”

Realized that plan wouldn’t do anything but cause more grief? Yes.

Back down?

He didn’t know Caius one bit.

“You said yourself she won’t show. Which insinuates I need a backup plan,” Caius pointed out calmly on the subject of Yuna. “I will contact Cassandra. But I don’t want you to try anything until all options are exhausted. If your suspicions are correct, Shiva cannot be allowed to think itself under threat with innocents around.”

Either way worked for him. He just wanted everyone to be safe. “But I told you in the bathhouse. I was completely upfront with Cassandra. I made it clear from the start what she was getting herself into. She could have left at anytime when things started getting dicey, but she didn’t. So I have faith in her. And if she can’t or I can’t find her, I’ll take the risk. If I fail and have to be cut down, so be it. Fighting, and even dying for those that stand alongside me if need be, is my responsibility.”

Alex more or less described the ruined Eos, though it didn’t feel right to have something he lived in almost his whole life trivialized like that. “At night, the daemons grow stronger. Too strong for most of us. I was a child when it hit,” he spoke softly, averting his gaze. “The sun was gone. The daemons grew stronger the longer night went on. Brought out the worst in people. My family was taken hostage by bandits, our farm ransacked and burned. Nobody came. Wasn’t even a teenager when I was forced to hold a family at gunpoint, or watch my little sister be slaughtered.”

Why was he saying this? He didn’t know. Alex had already described it, but he had trivialized it so much that it almost felt like he didn’t truly understand.

“Year in, we tried to escape. They caught up quick. Watched them pick off my family one by one. Most gruesome fashion you could imagine. Older brother gave himself up for me. But nobody cared to take in yet another orphan. And I couldn’t trust people. Daemons kept getting stronger, drove everyone from their homes, one by one. And all who didn’t completely lose hope and humanity and started robbing and killing… Their only hope was that the True King would appear. And purge our star of its scourge.”

If one were observant they might notice that the two were opposites in a way. Alex was a hero with many companions who now found himself alone… While Caius had spent much of his life alone, and now had everything that Alex wanted.

But despite it all, Caius has held confidence he could still save Lumina… Until Alex squashed it with the proclamation that Noctis would just kill Lumina in the process.

Caius fell quiet, then. His expression, his eyes, all were far away from here as Alex happily stomped on his hopes. And to throw salt on the wound? He claimed he could absorb it and save her with no consequences. But he wouldn’t because he didn’t want to.

There would be, he was wrong. But the snideness was clear all the same. If there had been any respect left for Alex as a human being? Gone. All interest in this conversation? Gone. He didn’t care if Alex used to be a hero. That didn’t matter to him. He had no further desire to associate with the poor excuse of a human being before him.

Caius was well and truly on his own to save Lumina. Fine. If Alex went after Yuna, he’d kill him before Shiva could temper. Working with him was a waste of effort. Alex as a person was a waste of effort. Which meant his next objective? Prepare for another day of searching for leads.

“I doubt Light would want help from someone like you.”

Why Light? Because in one single act of spite he wanted Alex to know that the person he let die had a name.

Why Light? Because while Lumina had several names, he wasn’t giving Alex one that would lead this sociopath to her.

The phrase wasn’t even spoken with emotion. No clear rage or anger. It was just… There. Caius himself didn’t even seem that present anymore. His focus wasn’t here with this conversation anymore.

All he could think about as he turned his heel and began to walk away was…

Noctis’ power would kill her.