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year 5, quarter 3
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This endeavor was proving more difficult than she imagined. She finally found a more appropriate outfit with the help of Jessie. The dress was a soft white material with a simple pink ribbon at her waist. The ends of the ribbon knotted and the ends softly fell down the side of her waist. It seemed she preferred the minimalist approach to clothing. The other designs with flowers and butterflies felt needlessly distracting to the senses. She did enjoy the softness of this dress against her skin. It’s gentleness was balanced out by the black, long-sleeved undershirt she insisted on continuing to wear. She wanted to keep the undershirt’s magical properties with her. She had found a new silk ribbon with soft feather fuzz for her tail as well, the same pink as the ribbon on her dress.
[break][break] She had been given a bag to carry her other belongings and acquired items. She was starting to get used to the overwhelming hustle and bustle of the city. There were some issues in the clothing shop, but with Jessie’s help, she was able to learn from the experience. She padded along quietly, her eyes looking through the windows of the stores. If she felt a little self-conscious of people staring at her because of her eerie blank eyes staring into windows and her unusual tail, she did not show it.
[break][break] She creased her brow. Kuja wanted her to pick out rouge, powder, and perfume. Rouge and powders were similar. After all, wasn’t rouge an alchemical powder usually used to polish metals and crystals? It could be used to change the color of these items too. But, what did these things have to do with self-discovery? With her? She puzzled over this conundrum as she stood stationary in the flow of traffic. Polishing herself to be smooth did not sound particularly appealing. People bumped and pushed around her.
[break][break] The day was already wearing her out. She could feel fatigue seeping into her. The excitement at the newness and the effort of interaction was truly draining. However, in her head she was certain she had to complete this mission before returning to Kuja.
[break][break] The smell of food made her realize that she needed a little sustenance to recharge. Maybe her energy would improve with a bite. She followed the scent to a booth. The booth itself was rudimentary with bold colored cloth and signs to gain people’s attention. The food was simple with meat and vegetables grilled on a stick. She asked for only one of these food sticks. They called it ‘kebab’. What a strange name for something so simple. She found a nearby bench and set her bag beside her. Her tail laid gently across her lap so that those passing behind her didn’t step on it.
[break][break] She took her first bite and she felt her cheeks come alive. Though the sustenance had been simply chopped and skewered, it appeared they added spices like that Quina did. She could not put a finger on its description, but she plopped another piece in her mouth to study it further.
Post by Garnet Til Alexandros XVII on Aug 16, 2020 10:56:51 GMT -6
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Garnet's mind was still reeling from her encounter with Kuja. A part of her, a large part of her, wanted to run and hide. She wanted to find somewhere and break down sobbing, and let out all of those repressed emotions she had squashed down while facing him. Kuja, the man who had murdered her mother and destroyed her life, was still alive. The only man she had ever been glad to think of as having perished, still lived. And worse, he was the same as he had always been, up to some kind of evil scheme and mocking Garnet freely.
She was aware that she was trembling slightly, and for a few steps her legs threatened to give out. She knew it was the adrenaline wearing off. She had been in enough battles and enough dangerous situations to know the feeling of complete exhaustion afterwards. More often than not, Zidane would be there to place a comforting hand on her, even before she was entirely comfortable with that. She missed that now. She wished Zidane was there more than anything, to hold her, to tell her it would be alright, but she was all alone...
It seemed so unfair, that Kuja be here but not Zidane. Not Steiner nor Beatrix nor Freya. She'd even settle for Quina! But instead, it was Kuja. Kuja, who should be dead. Kuja who killed her mother and destroyed an entire world. Kuja who had made a mockery of everything Garnet was supposed to be, who had stolen her power and then used it to destroy the very kingdom she was supposed to protect. What a pathetic queen people must have thought she was after that. The coronation had not even been yet and already she failed to protect her kingdom. And she had sworn to do better, she knew that she had a duty to it, and yet, now, here she was, letting her kingdom down again, with its arch enemy, the man who brought it to ruin, still on the loose, and she was so weak, so pathetic, she could do nothing about it.
But now there was the consideration of Kuja's new victim. For that what she undoubtedly was. Kuja did not have friends, he did not 'escort' those that needed it, unless he could in a manner derive power from them. Whoever he was now with, she was a victim too. Garnet knew the truth, and hoped that perhaps she could help her. And perhaps also learn what Kuja's intentions for this strange realm were...
However, what she hadn't expected, despite perhaps the fact she should have picked up on the term 'sister' Kuja had used, was to see a monkey's tail as somebody moved through the crowd. Her heart skipped a beat. She had only caught a glimpse, but could it be? Zidane? She hurried, pushing through the crowd with desperation to catch the sight, looking desperately for what she had seen, before her eyes fell on the figure on the bench.
And understanding dawned.
Mikoto.
Wait, Mikoto was there? Mikoto was the one with Kuja? After Kuja had destroyed her world? Why? How? What was-
No, those were not the important questions. Mikoto had proven at the Iifa Tree she could sense other genomes. She could sense Kuja. If that was true, she could sense Zidane! Mikoto could lead her to Zidane! Finally, she was making progress!
"Mikoto!" she called out, hurrying over in surprise and shock. Garnet took a moment to take in the girl's new appearance. She had never seen Mikoto wear a different outfit, but now she wore a plain, if pretty, white dress, held together by a pink ribbon. It was a delicate and sweet look, and Garnet was a little impressed. Perhaps less practical than even Garnet's own silky white and orange outfit, but Garnet had been an adventurer for a while, she thought with a hint of pride. Mikoto had not been. "You are... here!" It seemed silly to say, but it was an observation that she could not resist.
"Wait. You are the one with Kuja? How... could you? After all he has done? I... I don't understand...." she shook her head in confusion. It didn't make sense to her. God, it was all too much. She was so desperate for somebody to be there by her side. She just didn't know if she could do this alone. She wasn't... She wasn't good at it. She had tried to do so much alone and it had always gone wrong. She needed people. She needed help. What was she meant to do now? "Mikoto, he is evil! He destroyed your world, he destroyed my kingdom, why... why would you stand with him?" she asked desperately.
Mikoto’s blank and half-opened eyes looked up at Garnet upon hearing her name. The wind rustled her blond hair as she simply stared at Garnet. Garnet seemed to take in her appearance. This was Zidane’s woman, wasn’t it? The one that fainted in Bran Bal as she saw the Invincible. Everyone seemed to scurry around her needlessly. Mikoto knew she would be fine when she awoke. How could those Gaians not know the biology of their own?
[break][break] Mikoto simply gave a nod to Garnet’s second exclamation, taking another bite of her kebab. It seemed Zidane’s woman had quite the perception. Mikoto was certainly sitting at the spot indicated by her. Though, Mikoto supposed it was probably a fair assumption that she should be in Black Mage Village and not here. That is where Garnet and Zidane decided to leave them after all.
[break][break] Then, she started speaking poorly about Kuja. Her alarm was clear as day as she mentally reached out as if to metaphysically tug on his sleeve. Just to make sure he was still there. She eased a little when she found that his life pulse was still strong and near. Why did she worry like that? The woman alone certainly could not stand a chance against him. She was but a bug to him. Only Zidane and the combined might of his friends seemed to be able to stop him when desperate enough.
[break][break] The mention of her world turned the food to ash in her mouth. It suddenly lost its flavor and she could not tell why. Her eyes lowered to the cobblestone. Garnet helped evacuate the genomes, so Mikoto felt a strange need to at least respond to her. “...Why?” She said softly. Her typical neutral frown deepened. “I don’t understand either…” She admitted. What was a Gaian to judge her? To judge him? Their values were not the same. Could she make Garnet understand? Or were her words useless?
[break][break] Mikoto trembled a little remembering her own world dying. The souls were destroyed. The empty vessels were saved. The irony. If the souls had been salvaged, then perhaps creating new vessels would be more likely a chance for evolution. “Because I don’t understand, I want to understand him.” She would try. “Because I want to protect what is left of the genomes.”
[break][break] A pause as she tried to take in more of Garnet’s words and parse her response.
[break][break] “Am I evil? If Terra still existed, I would have followed in his footsteps next.” She said quietly, her eyes lifted and studied Garnet, unabashed. “That is what we were created for. Are the Black Mages evil, too?” She didn’t know what to do with her unfinished sustenance, but she no longer had an appetite. “Despite being banned from Terra, he continued his purpose in your world so that our people may live.” There was no good or evil. Only the weak and the strong. The cycle of life and souls. She trembled, remembering the feelings of watching Terra collapse. She dropped her kebab on the ground, lost in the memory. She had been ready to die with Terra. Her purpose was lost. The emptiness in her grew. Now there were only three of them with souls. The last of the Terrans.
[break][break] “What was he feeling ....that he would turn against his own home?” Mikoto never learned outlets or expressions for her own emotions. It caused the others to give her strange looks or call her odd names. Not that it bothered her. But she still had those feelings. Was it possible Kuja had not either? What happened? What was he feeling? She could only speculate. “Tell me.” She held no pleasantries, only blunt words. “What happened when you confronted Garland and Kuja?”
Post by Garnet Til Alexandros XVII on Aug 18, 2020 1:03:03 GMT -6
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Mitiko's blank, uncomprehending eyes felt like they were looking right through Garnet. It was a strange feeling. Garnet didn't like to admit it, she didn't like to think about it, but in many ways, she had grown up with the unspoken understanding that she was important. In any room at any time, the Princess of Alexandria, well, she was important. People would pay attention to her. Even undercover on their adventures, the party had paid her a special kind of attention. They tended to fuss over her. She knew that. But Mitiko didn't understand concepts of royalty. She didn't understand why Garnet was deemed in any way special.
In some ways, Mitiko was the only person Garnet had ever met who truly saw her as an ordinary person. Worse, she probably judged Garnet for the way people gave her what must have looked to Mitiko like a special kind of treatment. She felt exposed, when Mitiko looked at her, as if all those flaws she had tried to bury in her character were exposed and visible to see. She wished Zidane was there. She wished Zidane was there so desperately...
Garnet tried to understand. She tried to be sympathetic as she saw genuine fear for Kuja's wellbeing wash over the genome. Some of Mitiko's concerns reminded her of what Zidane had said, back at the Iifa Tree, before he had rushed off to what she had thought was his death. That in Kuja's position, he may have done the same thing. She refused to believe it then, and she refused to believe it from Mitiko now. People weren't just what they were born to be. They weren't just shaped by their surroundings. Garnet was raised as a Princess of Alexandria, but her mother had become corrupt. If she had just followed what her mother wanted, she would have been complicit in every crime the armies of Alexandria committed. But she hadn't. She had seen the flaw. She had stepped outside her comfort zone to do the right thing. She believed others could do that too.
"Mitiko, I...." she hesitated, the fire taken out of her. This was much harder than she thought. So much harder. "You would not have followed in his footsteps. Neither would Zidane. I believe that with all my heart. Being raised by... a bad person... who does... bad things... It doesn't make you bad too. You can... resist. I believe you would have resisted. You would not have let people die for personal gain. I believe in you, Mitiko..." Garnet wasn't certain that she really did, but she knew that Zidane would have said that, and Garnet had to do as Zidane did.
"The Black Mages resisted too. It can take time. It can be... difficult. But no, they were not evil, and neither were you. You were freed of Terra's influence, and look who you became. Kuja was freed from it, and see who he became. He tried to destroy, you did not... Mitiko, you are not like him..." she tried to persuade. She was bad at this. This was outside her comfort zone. She had no idea what to say or how to comfort the poor genome.
When she dropped her strange food (Garnet had no idea what a kebab was), she felt a pang of guilt, and she sat beside the girl, putting an arm around her. It was awkward; hugs were not part of royal etiquette and so a comforting hug, when Garnet was the one trying to do the comforting and not retreating into somebody's arms, was something she still had to learn. But she held the girl for a moment.
"He wanted to... break free of your home, Mitiko. He wanted to use my power to do it. Everything he did... It wasn't in service of your home, it was so that he could take over it..." she tried. She wasn't certain that was entirely true. She wasn't certain she understood still herself. But that was her impression.
"I can... understand loving a family member that you shouldn't. I... did too..." Garnet confessed. She paused again when she asked about what happened when they confronted Garland and Kuja. "Garland... wanted Zidane to serve him. Zidane said no and we fought. But, Kuja then arrived and killed Garland, absorbing the souls from the Invincible to trance. And then he used that power to destroy Terra. I think... I think because Garland revealed that he was mortal.... Kuja... hated the idea of dying. He was... afraid of it..." Garnet explained uneasily.
She paused, and a new idea occurred to her.
"If you wish to... be close to family, help me find Zidane! He is missing, but you can sense each other, can't you? Can you help me find him?" she asked, sudden eagerness in her voice at the idea.
[attr=class,bulk] Something Mikoto said seemed to have taken the wind out of Dagger. Genomes were mostly equal, only guided by Garland’s rules. They were created to be genetically disposed to aid each other. They were even given abilities to communicate telepathically and sense each other. There was less conflict if a group could understand each other. Less conflict without the worry of life or death. Some of them were given special purposes to help expedite Garland’s end goals, but Mikoto still considered the others her peers. The special treatment Zidane’s woman expected to receive was bizarre to Mikoto. [break][break] Mikoto listened to the woman, eerily quiet as she did so. The dark haired woman did not understand genomes. She assisted in their rescue, but her and Zidane did not understand the consequences or impact of what they did. They took a chance, comparing them to the Black Mages. Dagger’s words did not shake her. Mikoto knew for a fact she would have followed in Kuja’s footsteps. She would have found ways to rise to the tasks Garland gave her. And it would have been to please her master, as well as to ensure the livelihood of the Terrans. She wanted nothing more than to see the genomes come to life and grow. [break][break] But now… [break][break] She was not so sure. [break][break] Kuja, Jessie, and Dagger were advocating for her individuality. Some of the Black Mages eventually developed their own awareness. It seemed to give hope to the possibility that genomes would eventually develop without a soul. But, it was not so easy to change. Without much change of expression, her chest seemed to swell with her own breath before she released it. “What Kuja did was wrong.” She conceded. Even if she felt what he did on Gaia was not wrong, but his destruction on Terra was. “But, the genomes were freed of Terra’s influence because of his actions. And his creations gave us a safe place.” So, there was also right. There was hope in his actions, even if he had not knowingly meant them. [break][break] Mikoto stiffened at Dagger’s strange gesture, clearly uncomfortable. Zidane’s woman was not bracing herself to be steady, nor strangling the life out of Mikoto. Still, there was no hostility in her actions and the touch felt a warmth to it, even if the coldness of remembering was overwhelming. Mikoto made no real acknowledgement of the hug, other than to look away. She was unsure how to react to this, so she did nothing. [break][break] Mikoto scrunched her brows, not understanding Dagger’s contradictions. If Kuja wanted to break free from his home, then why would he want to take over it? And if he wanted to take over it, why would he destroy it? Her eyes swirled with the confusion, before shaking the questions out of her head. But if he was trying to break free, maybe it was not of home, but of their master. She thought back to her meeting with Kuja. He called himself Garland’s failure and compared himself to Zidane. His outburst at the mention of Garland. He was burying his hurt. And Mikoto had done nothing but poke it by her mere presence. [break][break] Mikoto tried to understand Garnet. Family was a term used on Gaia. Garland used the terminology to simplify things with Zidane, she was sure. A unit that supported each other, but something she could not fully understand. Loving? Is that what she was doing? Was her care for Kuja this love of a family member? These were difficult terms she was unsure about. But Dagger had already soured her food and made her uncomfortable, thus Mikoto had no intention of asking for clarification. [break][break] Though, Mikoto felt a deep sadness in her chest. So Kuja had been afraid of his mortality. Her hands clenched in her lap. Is that why he told her to live and that she had time? Where she and Zidane had similar roles, they had been given extended lives. Had he struck out at the injustice done to him? She wished so badly to understand. She wanted very badly to find a way for him not to be afraid. [break][break] But as Mikoto fell into her thoughts, Dagger seemed to have other plans. She was no different than Quina. Running up to her, realizing she was not Zidane, and then asking her to help them find him. It seemed that even without Garland around, she was still seen as a tool to be used. “He’s not in Torensten, currently.” Mikoto said uninterestedly, her voice soft and even again. It seemed Dagger knew about her abilities. No need to confirm them. “I don’t know where he is.” Mikoto very much wanted to find Zidane too. Why wasn’t his woman with him? “Why are you not with him? Aren’t you his woman?” [break][break] Mikoto stood up, picking up her bag. She no longer wished to have these conversations. “I have a task to complete.” She said simply. “To pick up some items. I am not sure what they are. Are you familiar with rouges, powders, and perfumes?”
Post by Garnet Til Alexandros XVII on Aug 20, 2020 16:08:01 GMT -6
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Garnet was somewhat relieved to hear that Mitiko confirmed she believed Kuja was evil. She had, for a moment, been worried that Mitiko might be following in the wrong sibling's footsteps, but it seemed that she was only confused. She was learning much, much like the Black Mages, and Garnet began to understand as she struggled. She elaborated on how Kuja's actions, although evil, had led to the Genomes being freed, and she supposed in a manner she was right. Garnet had never thought about it that way before, but after a momentary pause, she realised perhaps it wasn't that unlike her own life. "Sometimes... we can find good things in evil actions. Garland destroyed my home and murdered my family. Doubtlessly, evil, and... a very painful memory. One that I had mostly forgotten for most of my childhood. And yet, if he had not done that, I would never have grown up in Alexandria, I would never have met all the people I now call my friends, I would never have met Zidane, I never would have been positioned to stop my mother's actions... I would never even have been a princess. I would... have been an entirely different person. But does that justify what Garland did? Of course it doesn't. Just because we can find benefits from evil actions doesn't make those actions any less evil," she finished explaining. She wasn't sure she liked how it sounded. That was just purely selfish of her wasn't it? 'My village and all my people died but I got to be raised a princess!'. But that wasn't what she was trying to say. She was trying to say that... as difficult as her life had been, as many trials as she had faced, finding Zidane, having friends and guardians like Steiner and Beatrix, meeting people like Vivi and Eiko and Quina and even Amarant, none of that would have happened without Garland's attack. She would have been unrecognisable. She wouldn't even know herself. And yes, being a princess was part of that; not in a vain, selfish way, but in the fact that it had been Garnet's entire upbringing. She didn't know anything else. At least, not outside her foggy memories from Madain Sari.
She noticed that Mitiko stiffened under the hug, and Garnet realised that the poor girl had never been hugged. For a moment, her heart broke for the poor Genome. She supposed that made sense. Why would Genomes hug? But Garnet had rarely been hugged before leaving Alexandria, only in private moments with her mother, or, now that she thought about it, when she was much younger by Beatrix or Steiner or Dr Tot when she was upset. But she supposed she had always understood it, always craved it, and always loved it when she got it. Mitiko didn't seem to even understand it. "That's called a hug, Mitiko. It's... a sign of caring. You do it when you want to help make somebody feel better, or perhaps when you want to feel better yourself. It's... supposed to be pleasant," Garnet offered, smiling slightly and hoping to help her a little. People deserved to understand hugs, at least. "You know, I... understand that we are very different people, but... I also know how confusing the world can be when you first step into it. How odd people can seem, and how hard it can be to learn customs. When I first left Alexandria, I had only ever known the life of a princess. I had barely ever even stepped outside of the castle, let alone travelled the world. I had no idea how to speak to people, how to act, how to walk even, in a manner that fitted in. Sometimes it can take time, but you'll get there, Mitiko. And I hope that when you do, it'll make you happy," she offered. It had made Garnet happy after all. She was much more comfortable now that she had been 'Dagger' than she had ever been as the timid Princess Garnet.
Unfortunately, it was Garnet's turn to want a hug, and she wished she hadn't released Mitiko when she had, just so that she had some comfort, when Mitiko confirmed that Zidane was not in the city. It hardly seemed fair, Kuja and Mitiko here but not Zidane? Fortunately, she couldn't dwell long as Mitiko called her 'his woman', and Garnet couldn't help but give her a slightly surprised look. Okay, in many ways, many ways, it was a stupid, antiquated, offensive term, but there was a tiny part of Garnet that smiled at the thought. She belonged to Zidane, and he belonged to her. That was... comforting... "It's... that's... not quite... what we call it," she commented after a moment, realising that she was stumbling over her words. "I... have feelings for Zidane. Strong feelings. And... I think that he has them for me. But... we got separated. By whatever brought me here. Sadly, being in... having feelings, it doesn't mean that you are together all the time, not when forces conspire against you," Garnet explained. "I... desperately hope to find him again soon though." she admitted.
Her second shock came when Mitiko explained what she was looking for. That was not something Garnet expected from the young Genome, and she nearly let out a giggle. "I am... yes, you could say that," she smiled when Mitiko asked if she was familiar. Garnet decided any sarcastic remark that she had been raised a princess, of course she was, would be unfair on Mitiko. It seemed strange, but obviously the girl hadn't noticed Garnet was wearing make-up (which was probably a compliment; yes Garnet didn't wear dramatic, obvious make-up, but she was a Queen and wore it enough to ensure her skin was flawless, her eyes large, her lips a soft pink, but she supposed it was nice that Mitiko thought she just looked like that). She realised that hugging the Genome, she'd have expected Mitiko to pick up on her perfume too. Maybe Mitiko just thought humans smelled like that, which was... unusual, but she was a strange girl. "I have to say, Mitiko, that seems like a strange task for yourself. Who's asked you to do that? Make-up and perfume... It can be wonderful, it can help you feel confident, it can make you feel good about yourself, and it can help you feel like... yourself, but only if you want it to. It doesn't seem like something you'd want to look for on your own..." Garnet commented, somewhat shocked, but not quite understanding. Had Mitiko made another ally? Surely it wasn't Kuja...
I am sorry/not sorry she just compared Garnet to a chocobo. garnet
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Mikoto agreed that what was done was wrong, but it did not automatically make him ‘evil’. This was still not a concept she understood, but it sounded very negative. People made good choices and bad choices. They had rationalized reasons for these choices. Sometimes the wrong choices are made in the moment and unexpected repercussions occurred. But it didn’t feel to Mikoto as negative as this word ‘evil’.
[break][break] Mikoto listened to Dagger try to relate. Listened to her speak of Garland crushing her home and ending this family unit of her’s. Mikoto understood losing her home. There was a pang in her chest at the thought of her continuing to wander without one. But Mikoto did not empathize that Dagger’s home was crushed by Garland. Garland was simply trying to ensure the survival of Terra. The Gaians were weak as Garland proved his strength and weakened their soul cycle. Someone had to lose in the struggle. That was the way of the worlds.
[break][break] But she studied Dagger and saw how her past affected her. Dagger wore her feelings plainly on her face and body expressions. The slight tremble. The crease of her frown. The dimmed eyes. The people of Gaia were negatively impacted and it made sense they bore ill-will against the Terrans. But, instead of letting the genomes crumble in defeat they helped evacuate them. Why? Especially, if the Gaian’s felt what was done was inexcusable. “Why do you focus only on the negative impact, when you can see the positive impact too?” Did they not have equal weight and effects on a person?
[break][break] “And if what we did was inexcusable, why did you save the remainder of us?” Zidane never answered her questions. He just told her to search for her own answers. He gave her no choice but to leave with him. But they did not understand genomes. Did not understand that they were not gifted growth by Garland. But, after seeing the Black Mages, maybe it was Mikoto that did not understand.
[break][break] Mikoto gently listened to Dagger’s explanation of her physical grapple on her. A hug? Why would Dagger care for her? She took in the information of what these ‘hugs’ were for. But, she stood silently at the explanation, letting the information for what it was for sink in.
[break][break] Dagger segued into understanding new customs. Perhaps on that they both could relate to a degree. Though, Mikoto’s only real interaction with Gaians was through Terran logs, encountering Zidane’s friends, and the Black Mage Village. But would relating to humans make her more happy? She supposed only time would tell. She had little choice but to interact with them.
[break][break] Dagger seemed to liven up at being called Zidane’s woman. Mikoto had no idea what these feelings had to do with being Zidane’s companion, nor what these feelings were. It sounded like some sort of affinity was strong between the two. Like with Bobby Corwen and the genomes. Was Dagger Zidane’s Bobby Corwen? “What do you call it?” Mikoto calmly demanded. Mikoto felt herself begin to relate a little to Dagger. They both had difficulty integrating in society and they both wanted to find Zidane. Even if they disagreed, they both had these two commonalities.
[break][break] So Dagger was familiar with this terminology, though Mikoto did not understand why Mikoto giggled at it. Dagger asked who assigned her the task. “...” Mikoto did not respond to that. Dagger thought little of Kuja. Mikoto was not interested in unproductive conflict. “I already feel like myself.” She echoed back to Dagger confused. Who else could she feel like? Mikoto thought she was confident, except for the knowledge of human customs. To feel good? Well, she supposed she would find out. Were these alchemical items going to transform her into something else? “Make up? Is that what rouge and powder is called here? Where do I find these ingredients?”
Post by Garnet Til Alexandros XVII on Aug 23, 2020 12:36:53 GMT -6
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Garnet was forced to hesitate when Mitiko challenged her, asking why she focused on the negative impact instead of the positive. It wasn't an easy question to answer. She felt like she had to explain it as if to a child, but she wasn't sure she entirely understood either, and she seemed to stop for a moment, having to think. "It... is difficult, Mitiko, when I think about that day. Had Madain Sari not burned, my life would be completely different. I wouldn't be the person standing before you now. I'd have grown up differently, with a different family, different friends, a different home... It's... really very difficult to think about it. To know that I could have been someone entirely different, if not for the evil actions of one man. Everything important in my life today is because of what happened then. My friends, Zidane, my kingdom... who I am... but... that doesn't make Garland's actions any less evil. He murdered innocent people out of fear. He didn't have good intentions. He didn't do it so that I might end up living this life. Had he known I survived, he would have killed me too. He did it because he wanted to kill anybody who could call an Eidolon. He did it for selfish reasons and my mother and father, my real mother and father, died as a result. That's why I can never forgive him. I can be thankful for everything that I have been given since that day, but I still can't forgive him. Nor Kuja. I'm sorry, Mitiko, but they have taken too much from me." Garnet wasn't sure the explanation was satisfactory, but it was the best that she had.
When Mitiko asked why Garnet had helped save them, however, her heart broke a little. She looked at the confused, blank looking girl, and wanted to hug her again, but figured that she would react badly. "Oh, Mitiko, what Garland did, it was unforgiveable. What Kuja did, for power and revenge, that was also unforgiveable. But yourself and the Genomes? You didn't have a choice. You were under his control. I couldn't let you die, because of something somebody else had done. Just like the Black Mages on our world, they hadn't chosen to do what they did, and if I could help them, I would. I could help you, so I did. It is as somebody very special to me once said.... 'you don't need a reason to help people'. You were in need and I could help," she explained, although she wasn't sure she understood the answer herself. She was a white mage, trained to help and save lives whenever she could. She hadn't even thought about it. She had just seen innocent people in danger and needing help. She hesitated again, thinking back to what those words meant. What Zidane had done for Kuja at the end. "...and even if it is... inexcusable, it does not mean that you abandon somebody to their fate. Zidane has as much of a reason to hate Kuja as I do, but he still returned to his side at the end. You can still care for people, even if you do not always agree. I could not stand by and see an entire race condemned because of the actions of one man," she went on, but it was a difficult topic.
If Garnet had struggled with difficult, moralistic topics before, to answer Mitiko's next question was even harder. What did she call what she had with Zidane? She looked down for a moment, intently fiddling with the pendant around her neck in that manner she did when she got so nervous she struggled to think. What was she supposed to say? How could she convey in a mere word what Zidane meant to her? Amarant would call him her 'boyfriend', but that term seemed both informal and somehow laughably childish. She was sure that some around the castle called him her 'suitor', but that was too formal and not particularly flattering. She looked back at Mitiko, releasing the pendant. Oh, who was she kidding? She knew the truth. "I would call it... being in love," she admitted. It felt good to say the words, even if doing so made her heart skip a beat and her skin burn with anxiety. "I am in love with Zidane, and he... I hope... with me," she answered. Why had she said 'I hope'? She had seen him at the play. The love in his eyes. She knew it really, didn't she? Did she have to doubt herself even over this?
When Mitiko didn't answer regarding who had sent her, Garnet knew she had her answer. Kuja. Of course it was Kuja. Kuja had sent Mitiko to find cosmetics. Was Kuja so vain he wouldn't allow Mitiko near him while she looked plain? The thought disgusted her. It seemed so unpleasant. "Yes, Mitiko, rouges and powders are a type of make-up, along with others. Have you... not noticed that my face does not look... entirely natural?" Garnet supposed that was a compliment on her make-up skills. "The... dark line... around my eyes... is eyeliner. My lips are glossy. My cheeks are slightly rosier. It is not a hue that I have naturally. It is achieved with make-up," she explained, struggling a little. It was surprisingly hard to try and explain make-up to somebody who didn't have any understanding of it at all. Garnet didn't wear heavy make-up, she was a Queen and before that a Princess, she had to look naturally pretty (and she did, most would say), but obviously she also didn't not wear any at all. "Perfume is... a scent that you wear that... makes you smell nice," Well, that seemed like an oversimplification, but the best Garnet could manage. "Many people like to smell nice, and like to wear make-up to cover the flaws of their skin and make themselves feel better about how they look, but I promise you, it is entirely optional," she went on.
She paused, and she tried to think of how to approach the next subject. "Mitiko... make-up, perfume, your new clothing... it can be a good way to find ways to express yourself. To find... your individuality, to find something you enjoy and feel more unique... but... it is an option. You shouldn't do this because Kuja told you to. You should do this because you want to. And if you don't want to, don't let anybody tell you otherwise," Garnet explained. "But if you would like to try, I would be happy to help you. Skill with make-up is rather expected of a Queen, and I learned when I was very young. I do... not normally shop for it myself... but I have done so at times," Zidane or Steiner could be trusted to stock up on weapons and potions, after all, but when they were running low on mascara, Garnet knew she'd have to deal with that herself. "I'm sure we can find a cosmetic store around here, if you're interested."
Mikoto grows tired of conversation. Time for productive actions. garnet
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[attr=class,bulk] It seemed her questions were not easy for Garnet to respond to. It required lengthy explanations with no simple answer. But, if Mikoto had to summarize what was said it was essentially they took important things from her and she cannot forgive that. Mikoto thought of her own home taken from her in a matter of minutes. Had she forgiven Kuja for that? She felt a numbness in her as a response. She was not sure what it meant. She was unsure what she felt. Perhaps in time she could work it out. [break][break] Mikoto thought about how hard her life was when it changed. It was not easy going from a world that never changed to one that changed constantly. Garnet’s life had been changed in a similar manner. Mikoto understood that difficulty, but she simply could not grasp how important a mother and father was. She never had one. Nor did she understand growing up, nor what was lost to that. She woke fully developed in a tube. She was already self-sufficient upon her creation. Mikoto simply let Garnet talk as she tried to understand. [break][break] Still, she disagreed with all her being that Garland did it for selfish reasons. He had not done this for himself but for the collective of Terra. Mikoto remained silent on this too, her hollow eyes staring at Garnet. Her tail twitched in a slight agitation. Vivi had been sure that in time they would understand each other one day. Today didn’t seem to be the day. [break][break] If she remained quiet, this conversation would go away. It was becoming too overwhelming for the genome to process all the feelings and information being given. She wanted nothing more than to complete her tasks and find a safe, quiet spot to contemplate. What had been a day of wonder and happiness, now seemed to make her feel down. [break][break] It seemed Garnet thought the genomes were people. Could they gain self-awareness and live as she lived now, but without the Terran souls? Zidane and Garnet had only saved half of the life. Without the soul, the vessel continued to stumble. After seeing the Black Mages, she hoped it was possible for them to develop on their own. [break][break] And something felt wrong with her, not including Kuja as a victim. Kuja was under Garland’s control too. Was his attack against Garland not his way of breaking free? Wasn’t that how he gave them hope to function beyond their design? Perhaps he did not care about the other genomes when he did it. Still… [break][break] She felt the pang in her chest where her heart beat. [break][break] Mikoto did not want to reveal weakness to a Gaian. Instead she asked no more questions on morals. She hoped to change the subject before her mood and energy dropped further. [break][break]
Instead, she paid special interest in this ‘love’ Garnet spoke of. So this strong affinity was called love? “So love is strong feelings, following someone around, and looking for them when they are not near? Then, hoping they want the same?” Seemed simple enough. She remembered Bobby Corwen chasing a confused genome around, until she put a stop to it by picking up the chocobo and returning it to the Black Mages in charge of him. [break][break]
Make up was these rouges and powders. Interesting. They served another purpose than alchemy. Mikoto leaned in and studied Garnet’s face and her explanations. So, Gaians were imperfect creatures needing these items to cover up their imperfections. “I thought you were created that way.” Mikoto stated plainly as she she stood up straight. And scents were made to make people smell nice. Was that why Kuja smelt so different from the other genomes? He used these perfumes. [break][break]
She bristled as Garnet still seemed to talk poorly of Kuja.Mikoto was wondering if gaining assistance with this task was worth it. “Kuja asked me what I liked to do. I told him I liked to attach items to my hair. He said this was called self-expression. He suggested I look into new ribbons and these rouges and powders if I was interested in exploring.” She took this as her first lessons from him and she took these tasks to heart, though they were difficult for her. He was even kind enough to give her a coin purse and let her choose their destination. For someone who destroyed her world, he was being nice to her. [break][break] What did it matter if someone told her to or not? And had Mikoto not already expressed her interest several times now? She turned her back to Garnet, her shopping bag in hand, and began padding lightly toward the stores. It seemed unproductive to stand here and stare at her. “I will find this cosmetic store.” Just in case her intent was not clear.
Post by Garnet Til Alexandros XVII on Aug 25, 2020 15:21:57 GMT -6
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Garnet was struggling, it was true, to explain herself to Mikito, and she was aware that she was doing a terrible job of it. She saw Mitiko's tail swish, and she knew that swish. Zidane's tail did it sometimes, usually whenever Steiner was talking, and she knew what it meant. She was annoying Mikito. Garnet wasn't sure how, she was trying her best to explain, she just... had never thought she'd meet someone who didn't immediately hate Kuja, who didn't immediately understand his evil... Even the Black Mages seemed to know, even if they chose to follow him again for a while. Maybe Garnet felt annoyed too. She hoped her poise hid it better. She was well trained in hiding her emotions, after all. When she had to...
Luckily, Mikito didn't ask further questions, and let that conversation die, and instead, she asked about love. It was another thing Garnet never thought she'd have to explain, but at least this was something positive. She paused for a moment, trying to work out how to explain it to Mikito. "Love is... all those things... but so much more," Garnet said, with a wistful, almost lost smile. "Love is... when you... want to spend the rest of your life with someone. When that someone makes you smile, when you think of them all the time, when... you feel safe in their arms and they make you laugh and..." she shook her head and gave a wistful smile, " ...no matter how infuriating or childish they can be, you know they believe in you, and you believe in them, and you... want to be by their side, forever..." It was obvious, of course, who she was speaking about. "Love is when the thought of being apart from someone hurts you, when the thought of being with them brings you joy, when you cry when they're gone and you want to hold them tightly and never let them go when they return..." Her face looked sad and distant for a moment, as she thought of Zidane holding her in his arms, and her sobbing against his chest. And how now they were apart again. "Love is... It's a feeling, Mikito. A feeling that... you just, know, when you feel it. I'm... not sure I can ever explain... Not really..." She smiled wistfully again, having to blink back watering eyes. "It's... It's when somebody means everything to you. More than the whole world. When... they're all you think about... When they make you happy... Ugh, I don't know," she shook her head, and blinked the tears away. A lifetime reading romantic plays and her feelings for Zidane, and she still couldn't explain it properly to Mikito. "It's when you miss somebody more than anything... That much I know. Like... I miss... Zidane..." she admitted awkwardly.
She smiled a little and giggled when Mikito said she had just thought Garnet was 'made' that way, with the make-up already on her face. "I suppose I should be glad you have not seen me in the morning, then," she smiled lightly. Garnet didn't like to think of herself as vain, but she had spent a lifetime with the reputation as the most beautiful princess in all of Gaia, and she did perhaps when they were travelling, get up a little early to make sure her make-up was done and her hair was presentable before Zidane woke up, so, yes, perhaps she had a small piece of vanity within her... "Well, yes, Mikito, that's... wonderful," Garnet tried to smile. She still didn't like this news had come from Kuja, but she was glad that Mikoto had found something she liked. "I like hair ribbons too, see?" she lifted her hair around to show off the blue ribbon she had tied at the bottom of her long hair, holding it together, albeit not particularly well. Being at the bottom of her hair, its purpose was far more decorative and impractical than having it higher up, but she liked it nevertheless. "Well, if your heart is set, let me help you," Garnet smiled, following along beside her, although she wasn't sure why. It felt natural to leave Mikoto. She obviously didn't like Garnet, and had no need for her to be there. But she was Zidane's sister. Zidane would want to know she was safe. And Garnet wanted to help. "So, we need to pick your shade. You usually use a base powder, or foundation, to cover your skin and smooth out any blemishes. It also stops your skin being shiny, but you want to try and pick one that is the same as your natural skin tone, or it will be obvious you're wearing it. The idea is that it's subtle and looks natural. You probably need a shade darker than me," Garnet explained as she walked along side. "And then we can add some colour! I'd assume that you would choose pink, yes?" she asked. "I'm guessing it's your favourite colour."
