[attr="class,beatext"]
Garnet smiled a little as Hilda spoke about how her journey had led her to appreciate what she had and when she had it. She wasn't sure that was quite what she would have taken away from it. Hilda, it sounded, now appreciated the finer things in her life because she had lost them while captive by Kuja, whereas Garnet...

...well, it was different for her. She felt that she had learned what life was really about. She had seen the world. She had seen a better way of living. All the pomp and circumstance of being a queen, all of the formality and the rules, it wasn't what living was about. Yes, she had a responsibility to her people, and she would follow it through, but Zidane had taught her a better way of living her life. She had once told Zidane that without him, she would have lived a meaningless life. She knew that Hilda would probably balk at that sentiment. A royal leading a meaningless life? But it was true. Royalty, rules, leading, even being in power, it meant nothing. Not really. Not compared to the world she had seen. The bonds she had made. She had learned what was important. And it wasn't the fancy dresses or the castles or the plays. It was what she was doing now. Being there, helping people, forming connections, doing the right thing, no matter what.

"Oh, I learned many new skills, but... that's not quite what I meant," she smiled a little. "I mean, I won't pretend there were nights that I didn't miss my bed back in Alexandria, or wish perhaps for a private room... I mean, have you ever shared a tent with a Qu? It is... not for everyone... but, well, for all the hardships... for everything I lost, everything I went through, I wouldn't trade that time for anything. I learned so much. I grew so far. And now I think I know what's truly important." She hesitated. "No, not just important... You can be important, but live a life without meaning. I know now what makes life worth living. Camping... may not have been fit for a princess or a queen, and while I remember... losing sleep on hard floors, laying awake as Amarant snored or trying to pretend Steiner waking up early for guard duty hadn't woken me up by the clanking of his armour.... I also remember... staying up late around the campfire... Roasting food together... Laughing, joking, telling stories... Steiner and Zidane bickering like children, Quina cooking us the most incredible meals, Freya teaching me how to better wield my staff, Vivi and myself becoming rather competitive playing Tetra Master... And then, at the end of each night, resting my head on Zidane's shoulder as the moonlight shone down upon us... And in those moments... I don't think my life has ever felt more worthwhile." She smiled at the memory. It felt so far away now, even here. But even in Torensten, she had had similar moments. Moments of lightness and enjoyment with her fellow White Mages in the Covent, and of course, time with the others she had met beyond that.

"Maybe you will find the same?" She offered. "I know that it can seem absurd now, but I suspect that one day you'll look back on these days with fondness..."

"You can make... remedies?" Garnet paused. It was a silly thing to say. Of course there had to be an alchemical component to most potions and remedies. A way of manufacturing them. They weren't just harvested from dead monsters! But she had never thought about it before. She let out a slight laugh in surprise. "I guess I still have a lot to learn about the world," she laughed a little. "I think that sounds like a good idea. Remedies are very expensive, and the church doesn't make much in the way of gil. Anything to make them cheaper would help greatly," she explained.

"Of course. I'd love for you to come with me. Maybe I can show you how streetwise I've become. I know how to act like a regular peasant girl now, when shopping," she said proudly. Of course, Garnet's assessment of quite how well she'd learned to blend in was, perhaps, a little optimistic as ever, but she was still proud of how far she had come. "Come on, Auntie," she smiled, laughing a little as she led the way out of the church.

@ladyhilda

[attr="class,beatext"]

Garnet felt Hilda lightly brushing her hair as she held her close. It was such a comfort, and it made Garnet never want to break away. She knew that it wasn't appropriate. She was a Queen now, her days as a child were long behind her. The days of needing comfort from adults. She was the adult now. But, for a moment, it was nice. Hilda would never replace her mother, but it was nice to have an adult female figure that she could look up to. That she knew would love her, if needed.

She listened to Hilda's words. They contained wisdom, yes, but she thought they were much easier said than done. Deep down, she knew that it wasn't her fault so many people had died. It was like she had said to Hilda. Kuja had violated her. Ripped her power from her. How was Garnet supposed to know that would happen? She had no real understanding of her Eidolons back then. She didn't know who she truly was. But the fact remained. People were dead. Her people. Because of her mistakes. She realised that pain would never go away, even if she knew it wasn't truly her fault. She had thought she had beaten it. That she had evolved past it, but, seeing Kuja alive still, it had reopened those wounds. That fear within her of what he may do to her, given the chance.

Hilda was right though. Her concern had to be making it safer for the people who remained. Maybe THAT was why she was so afraid of him?
"But that is why we must stop him. If he... attacks again... Can you imagine? Another Lindblum? Another Alexandria? But here, when we knew what he was? What he was capable of? I was young and naïve when he exploited me before. I am no longer those things. I won't, I can't let it happen again. Not when I know what he is. Not when I can stand in his way," she explained. Not that she had a plan, still. But she knew something had to be done.

Hilda's words about Kuja's power made her feel better, however. She was right. He was just a man. She had seen that. Powerful, but mortal. He could be defeated. He had been defeated. He should, really, be afraid of Garnet. If she united with the others, they could defeat him again. Couldn't they? But it was difficult. It was scary.
"You're... right, Auntie. I will... keep watch on him. I will be prepared. He is at an disadvantage, and I have the advantage. Zidane is here, I am here, you are here, we are ready to stop him again if we need to. I just... don't wish for anybody else to be harmed this time. I wish to stop him before he can hurt others." It sounded naïve, she knew. Of course they all wanted that. But Hilda sounded as if she didn't quite believe that he was going to do anything bad again. Whereas, Garnet had no doubt that he would. It was in his nature.

No, that was too kind. Nature could be defied. Vivi was made as a weapon. Zidane was made as a weapon. Both of them found compassion, love, goodness. It wasn't in Kuja's nature. It was in his personality. In his choices. He wasn't evil by nature, he was evil by design. By his design. And she had no doubt that he would resume his evil ways at first opportunity, if he hadn't already.

She shook her head when they spoke of Zidane, saying how she didn't know his mind. Garnet couldn't hide a small smile and a laugh.
"I love Zidane with all of my heart, but I am not sure I understand his mind either," she laughed lightly. His compassion and his soul would forever be a mystery to her, but perhaps that was why she loved him so much. The way he saw the world, how he helped anybody who needed it, and how he saw the good in everyone, it was so admirable. He was a thief, raised on the streets. By all logic, he should resent a spoiled princess, but he had loved her, protected her, guided her, and shown her so much. She might never fully understand her, but she knew that she would always love him.

She smiled lightly when Hilda told her about the meanings of her name. Not because it was news to her; it wasn't. Garnet obviously knew the symbolism of her own name. But more because it was the sort of story Hilda would have told her when she was little to bring her comfort. It was nice. It made her feel young once again, and that was... pleasant. She smiled, enjoying the story, such as it was. Hilda's name meaning Shieldmaiden was news to her, however, but she admired her Auntie's confidence.

However, she did have a slight correction to make.
"Do not forget, Auntie, I am not just Garnet any longer," she answered. "I hope that you are right. That I spread... love and compassion, and that I can repel evil. But if I cannot, if Kuja attempts to harm anybody again, I am also a Dagger." She left it at that, because Hilda wanted to move on, and Garnet herself wasn't sure what that meant. She felt so much anger towards Kuja, but she wasn't a killer. She just... wanted to stop him. And she would fight if she needed to. She had proven that now, and it remained true.

Garnet smiled and laughed a little at Hilda's reaction to the threat of snoring.
"I once thought the same. But on our adventure, I had no choice. After you have slept through Steiner's snoring, very little will keep you awake. And that's without mentioning the rather bizarre noises Quina could make in the night," she laughed. She wondered what Hilda thought of her, the young Queen, raised a princess, but experienced camping in tents and sleeping with others. She imagined it was a surprise to her. "I am sure that your services will be gratefully received, until you find your position," she smiled, ignoring the light teasing about how she wasn't going to have to save to find some lost love. She didn't want to ask about Uncle Cid. Did Hilda not miss him at all? She knew that their relationship was complicated. It was not... as simple as her own and Zidane's.

She obeyed Hilda's wishes and held her tongue about her further fears involving Kuja. But if Hilda could find her way into the court again, couldn't Kuja? Wouldn't it be possible that he'd work his way back up? Yes, Kuja was down now, but not out. Garnet knew that he could do anything. He had seemed utterly defeated before. And he had always bounced back, more powerful than ever. She would respect Hilda's wish, but her fear remained behind her eyes that their battle with the sorcerer was still only just beginning.

@ladyhilda

[attr="class,beatext"]

Hesitation flickered across Garnet's features. She could sense that she had made a mistake discussing this with Hilda. It was something that very much prayed on her mind. Hilda didn't really see it. Garnet could tell that. Hilda was much nicer and kinder than her mother, but still, an awful lot like her mother had been. Part of the system and not somebody who would ever understand why the aristocracy was flawed. Garnet wanted to point out that the very thing she used to boost Garnet's standing, that she had trained her entire life to rule, was Garnet's exact point. When she had left Alexandria Castle, she had been naïve, clueless, and helpless. Without Zidane she wouldn't have even made Lindblum. What kind of ruler, what kind of leader, was that unaware of life outside her walls? And that was typical for a princess, or so she was led to believe.

And that was without worrying about power corrupting. Everybody said her mother had been a kind, a just, a gentle Queen once. But she had power. And that power had corrupted her. It had turned her into a monster. What was to say the same would not happen to Garnet? She had been given power just because she had looked just like the child who had passed, she had been adopted and raised into power she had done nothing to earn. What was to say it wouldn't corrupt her? That thought terrified her too. She had always told herself, even when she was young, that one day she would be queen, but she would always be herself. But was that true? If power had done what it had done to her mother, could it do it to her?

And on TOP Of that, Lady Hilda had a point about herself. Hilda was vastly more qualified, or so it felt to Garnet, to lead than she ever was, but she had married into power. So... what if there were others like Hilda out there? So much more experienced than Garnet, so much better to lead, missing their chance because of some ancient blood claim to the throne that wasn't even true?

All of it rattled through Garnet's head, but she felt like she could say none of it. Hilda wouldn't understand. And besides, Garnet was a Queen. She had forgotten what it was like to be treated as one. Zidane saw her as an ordinary person, the people of the Church too, obviously. Even Beatrix and Steiner knew her differently now after her adventures. But Hilda saw her exactly as a visiting dignitary would, and it wouldn't do to further express doubts.

"Yes, I suppose that you are right. I apologise," Garnet said gracefully, with a small incline of her head, instead of going any further into the subject.

When Hilda snapped at her (in so far as a lady like Hilda would snap), Garnet actually looked a little startled. She replayed what she had said in her head, but she couldn't understand what she had said to offend her Aunt. She frowned a little.

"I apologise, Auntie. I did not mean to offend you," she said, but she was clearly puzzled. She didn't understand it at all.

Fortunately she moved on to asking what duties Garnet attended within the convent.

"Oh, it is rather simple really. We get visitors who are injured or sick, and I use my white magic to heal them. In exchange, I am given food and lodgings. Sometimes, adventurers come through here looking for experienced white mages to join their adventuring parties. Sometimes I sign up as it's a good way to make some gil, which until recently I had been spending on my search for Zidane. That... is less required now," she explained pleasantly. It was a rather good set-up really, if a bit mundane. A far cry from castles and corsets, but Garnet wasn't sure that was a bad thing. Even if there were nights she missed her comfortable poster bed.

"I hope that she makes the right choices. I do not know that I trust her," Garnet replied when she spoke of Mikoto. "I will never forget what Kuja did to Alexandria. To Lindblum. To his own world. Mikoto has as much potential within her to walk that path as she does to walk Zidane's. And while she is close to him, I will not be comfortable. I can only hope that Zidane can reach her when I failed."

It was only Garnet's well trained poise and grace that prevented her from showing offence when Hilda called Kuja 'Lord Sorcerer'. She simply commented dryly;

"He is no lord. He is a monster, plain and simple," Garnet said. She was worried. Hilda was speaking as if she was intending to confront Kuja. And do what? Ask him to leave Garnet alone? That was how it sounded. But Hilda also spoke as if she admired him. As if Kuja had just misbehaved a little, like her Uncle Cid. She wondered just how much Hilda knew about her captor. "I know that he has charm. I understand how he works his way into the courts and palaces of people he needs. He grew close to my mother and manipulated her. But I have seen his true face. I know what he truly is. I stood on a world as it died beneath his fury, as he tore apart the very foundation of a planet out of petty anger. And, at the end, in Memoria, when we did battle with him. I saw his anger, his rage, his power, and his desire to destroy. I stood at the source of all creation, of all life, and watched as a man tried to destroy it all. Kuja would willingly wipe out every living thing in the universe if given the chance. I beg of you, do not underestimate him." She sighed, and gave a small nod. "Do not worry. I will not confront him here without considerable back-up. I'm not the foolish girl I once was. I know how dangerous he is. When Kuja is brought to justice for his crimes, and I promise you, Aunt Hilda, there will come a day that he is brought to justice, I won't be alone."

@ladyhilda

[attr="class,beatext"]

Garnet smiled slightly as Hilda told her that a Queen should see what was beyond her walls. It was, of course, true. A lesson Garnet had learned travelling the world with Zidane and the others. She wondered if it was a lesson Hilda knew as well. Her Aunt seemed, well, less equipped to survive the world than Garnet was, but looks could be deceiving, and Garnet knew that Hilda was as powerful as she was with magic. She hesitated for a moment, looking away from Hilda and at the fountain, and the water falling gently.
"Sometimes... I wonder if there should be a Queen at all," she admitted. "I think of how little I still know. How much of the world I have still not seen, how... naïve and childish I feel when I listen to Zidane or the others tell me stories, and I think... what gives me the right to rule? Why should anybody listen to me? Why should I deserve such power, such privilege? Sometimes I think that the idea of Queens and Kings is broken. That Gaia would have been a better place without those born into rule. Where only the truly worthy lead. I mean, we both know that I am not even a real Queen. My entire rule is based upon a lie." Garnet paused, shaking her head and smiling gently. She looked back at Lady Hilda. "I apologise. Such thoughts... should not be aired, and... it is not as if I can change anything. Perhaps I only dream of an excuse to walk away from my responsibilities, but it does not exist. Whether I wish for it or not, I am Queen of Alexandria, and it will not change until my death. Those people are my responsibility. I must protect them," she decided.

"Please, do not be concerned for me. Life here is safe, by comparison to what I have been through. Has Eiko ever told you about the time we battled the Kraken alone? It was just the two of us, and our magics, with no warriors to protect us, no blades or black magic. Just the two of us white mages facing one of the fiends of legend." Garnet paused and laughed lightly. "I suspect one of two things. Either Eiko has told you that story every day for the past two years or she has never mentioned it because she's worried you would tell her off for doing something so foolhardy." Garnet wondered which it was. In fact, part of her expected Hilda to tell her off then and there.

When Hilda spoke of her time aboard the airship, Garnet smiled and nodded understanding.
"For me, it was the first day that I spent in Kalm. It was a small farming village outside of Alexandria that I did not even know existed. We arrived there and I adopted my Dagger alias for the first time. And I simply... walked. I walked through the town and nobody looked at me twice, nobody announced me, I didn't have guards rushing about me or fussing to protect me. I remember feeling... almost light headed. As if I was floating with every step. It was like a wonderful dream. I was free. Whatever action I took in that moment, it was all me. Nobody to tell me what to do, or how to act, what was right or wrong. In that moment, for the first time in my living memory, there was only... myself." Garnet shook her head lightly. "Over time, I guess I grew used to that. And sometimes our journeys took us to dark places or on trying paths. There was so much heartache and loss, so much pain and so much suffering, but I will never forget the freedom that I discovered. It's a freedom that I have here too," she explained. She knew that Hilda understood, even if her newfound freedom had been different. And she expected that Hilda enjoyed traditions more than Garnet did.

"Thank you. It is... pleasant being here, but I know that I have duties to return to," Garnet concluded.

Next, Hilda asked about Kuja, and his strange claim. Again, Garnet shook her head.
"No. He told me very little, and I suspect he was playing the innocent to avoid accusations. I do know that he gave Mikoto money, and sent her to buy... cosmetics, of all things. It seems that he is encouraging her to find her individuality, but... I do not believe his motivations to be benign. Kuja values his individuality, but in a selfish manner. I believe he is attempting to mould Mikoto to be the same," she explained. She asked about Mikoto, and Garnet hesitated. It was difficult to explain. "...I am not sure I fully understand genome relations myself. Mikoto was given a soul, like Kuja and like Zidane, and unlike the other genomes. She was destined to be Zidane's replacement on Gaia. Zidane was sent to Gaia to be its angel of death, but instead, he was raised as one of us, and his heart was pure. It is as though Mikoto is a blank slate. Kuja, I believe, views her as a sister, just as he viewed Zidane as a brother. I believe he wishes to shape her to be like him," Garnet reiterated. "I made contact with her but... I was unable to sway her. I do not... think she understands me. She sees in me... everything that she does not understand about humanity. But now that Zidane is here, I hope that he may reach her and avert what is coming."

She smiled weakly as Hilda assured her she'd protect her.
"Aunt Hilda, please, do not seek him out. Allow me to protect you, to repay you for the years you protected me. I have dealt with Kuja before. I shall do so again, if needed."

@ladyhilda