Post by Sia on Apr 28, 2024 17:16:18 GMT -6
Sia | 25 | 5'6 | F
a nightmare to forget
As the fight between the two Eikons ended and she allowed herself to open her eyes she felt pain and sorrow where moments before were only joy. looking at the feather in the palm of her hand as her aether and flames danced around it she recalled the last conversation she had with her mother:
Sitting at the table with Ariandel to their side and her Mother at the other she looked up from the letter she finished reading to meet her eyes. She didn't know how to address the fact she planned this without her consent let alone how she should react to the content of her proposal. She gently placed the letter down on the desk in front of herself face down. Straightening her posture her hands resting her hands on one another above the letter as her eyes gazed at it while she searched for the right words to adress her mother's proposed plan. Taking more than a couple of seconds to find them, looking up to meet her eyes once more.
"I understand why you believe this is necessary, I know better than anyone why it should be done." She paused to as she thought back to the work she had done while a member of the Undying. Her gaze wondering away from her mother in thought onto the table. "I have listened to the Undying,witnessed men without flame speak words that were not his. I have seen them train men who had no other choice but to serve or starve, and in their name I have done things my flame didn't agree with. They are shadows. Shadows which surround the Phoenix, leaving him and his flame alone in the dark." She glanced at Ariandel who quietly listened to her words seemingly unbothered by them. She knew he looked at their work as a way to ensure Rosaria's prosperity and while he might have distanced himself from the pain and fear they caused in the hearts of Sanbreque men, she knew was still hurt from witnessing how heartless her methods could be if they were justified in her eyes, From dealing with men who caused suffering to bearers to convincing once loyal Sanbreque guards to be loyal to her. "I have seen them give purpose to men who had none and I have seen them teach bearers of flame and light how to wield a blade. It is with their help I had the chance to guide and teach bearers of Fire and Light." She lifted the letter and place it in the middle between her and her mother before finishing continuing. "What you are asking of me is not necessary and it never will be, you have my word..." She took a pause to remind herself Ariandel was still present and she couldn't say the words she was thinking to discourage her mother from acting on her plan alone. "...I understand Rosaria and Phoenix."
Her mother didn't understand her flame's nature which yearned to heal the Phoenix even now when all seemed lost and the way she attemted to heal them was untested and desperate. She had to followed the advice she gave every bearer she took under her wings.
"forgive me" She whispered as she made peace with her choice, closing her eyes as she continued with her spell to give her flame to the Phoenix in an attempt to heal them.
Her thoughts went to the dead and dying Rosarians. They were descendants of the flame and to her that was reason enough to mourn their unfulfilled dreams and the lives they could have had if only she listened to what her flame have been compelling her to do ever since she watched Clive spar with the Lord Commander:
Stop fearing the consequences and finally introduce herself to Joshua and Clive and take the two of them under her wing. Provide them the reassurance and guidance they need for both the Rite Of Ancestral Communion in the morning, and the war against the Iron Kingdom that was to come after.
She couldn't help her tears as she thought back to Ariandel's silly idea of her sparring with the first shield right then and there in front of everyone. The joy she felt as she looked at how happy all of them were was too precious to disturb. 'I should have done it.' Her gentle and calming voice gave into her sorrow that came with the thought of all the things she would do differently today given another chance. The images her mind conjured into being hurt more than she could have imagined knowing there was nothing she could do to stay and provide them the carefree life they truly deserved.
"Can you hear my plea to heal your little flame ?" were the last words of hers before the world around her faded away. At last there was no more suffering to be had, only the comfort of the Phoenix remained.
Opening her eyes at first she thought this was simply a dream or a vision from the Phoenix, with every passing second she became more aware of herself, the cold surface on which she layed, the air which filled her lungs, the faint warmth of her flame through her body trying to ease the painful images of the second Eikon and the Phoenix that still echoed in his mind.
Getting up and looking around for her sword she found herself in a dim hallway of seemingly fallen design. Her heart was gripped by fear as she realized where she was and what likely happened. Placing her closed hand over her chest she tried to hold back the feelings of sorrow that threatened to surge forth and overwhelm her. Feeling like she was losing her balance she braced her hand against the the closest side of the hallway as she struggled with her emotions of sorrow and pain.
"By your flames all our pain and suffering will one day fade away" As she recalled those words she noticed she didn't feel like her flame was different...what shouldn't be if it was joined by that of the Phoenix. 'I'm...not the Warden of fire ?' The realization took a few moments to sink in as her attention was drawn to her flame. Feeling the relief and happiness that washed through her she couldn't stand anymore. Falling to her knees as she allowed herself to cry for the first time since she accidentally injured a bearer while sparring. "thank you." She said quietly as her voice quivered, there was a chance both her and Joshua survived tonight. Blinking away her tears she took several deep breaths to help her mind collect herself while the joy and relief slowly faded. Wiping away the tears after a few minutes she had the presence of mind to realize she could not rest yet, not until she ensured Joshua and Clive were safe and the second Dominant was dead.
Sitting at the table with Ariandel to their side and her Mother at the other she looked up from the letter she finished reading to meet her eyes. She didn't know how to address the fact she planned this without her consent let alone how she should react to the content of her proposal. She gently placed the letter down on the desk in front of herself face down. Straightening her posture her hands resting her hands on one another above the letter as her eyes gazed at it while she searched for the right words to adress her mother's proposed plan. Taking more than a couple of seconds to find them, looking up to meet her eyes once more.
"I understand why you believe this is necessary, I know better than anyone why it should be done." She paused to as she thought back to the work she had done while a member of the Undying. Her gaze wondering away from her mother in thought onto the table. "I have listened to the Undying,witnessed men without flame speak words that were not his. I have seen them train men who had no other choice but to serve or starve, and in their name I have done things my flame didn't agree with. They are shadows. Shadows which surround the Phoenix, leaving him and his flame alone in the dark." She glanced at Ariandel who quietly listened to her words seemingly unbothered by them. She knew he looked at their work as a way to ensure Rosaria's prosperity and while he might have distanced himself from the pain and fear they caused in the hearts of Sanbreque men, she knew was still hurt from witnessing how heartless her methods could be if they were justified in her eyes, From dealing with men who caused suffering to bearers to convincing once loyal Sanbreque guards to be loyal to her. "I have seen them give purpose to men who had none and I have seen them teach bearers of flame and light how to wield a blade. It is with their help I had the chance to guide and teach bearers of Fire and Light." She lifted the letter and place it in the middle between her and her mother before finishing continuing. "What you are asking of me is not necessary and it never will be, you have my word..." She took a pause to remind herself Ariandel was still present and she couldn't say the words she was thinking to discourage her mother from acting on her plan alone. "...I understand Rosaria and Phoenix."
Her mother didn't understand her flame's nature which yearned to heal the Phoenix even now when all seemed lost and the way she attemted to heal them was untested and desperate. She had to followed the advice she gave every bearer she took under her wings.
"forgive me" She whispered as she made peace with her choice, closing her eyes as she continued with her spell to give her flame to the Phoenix in an attempt to heal them.
"Dearest child of flames
lay your head to sleep
close your little eyes
fear not the dark of your nightmares
In loving embrace of your flame
forget your days filled with tears
dream away without fear
surrounded by flames
what do you see ?
what do you see ?
the weight of tomorrow fading away
a future, gentle and carefree
this little song i'll sing for you
until you wake
until you wake
to a new dawn free of pain"
Her thoughts went to the dead and dying Rosarians. They were descendants of the flame and to her that was reason enough to mourn their unfulfilled dreams and the lives they could have had if only she listened to what her flame have been compelling her to do ever since she watched Clive spar with the Lord Commander:
Stop fearing the consequences and finally introduce herself to Joshua and Clive and take the two of them under her wing. Provide them the reassurance and guidance they need for both the Rite Of Ancestral Communion in the morning, and the war against the Iron Kingdom that was to come after.
She couldn't help her tears as she thought back to Ariandel's silly idea of her sparring with the first shield right then and there in front of everyone. The joy she felt as she looked at how happy all of them were was too precious to disturb. 'I should have done it.' Her gentle and calming voice gave into her sorrow that came with the thought of all the things she would do differently today given another chance. The images her mind conjured into being hurt more than she could have imagined knowing there was nothing she could do to stay and provide them the carefree life they truly deserved.
"Can you hear my plea to heal your little flame ?" were the last words of hers before the world around her faded away. At last there was no more suffering to be had, only the comfort of the Phoenix remained.
Opening her eyes at first she thought this was simply a dream or a vision from the Phoenix, with every passing second she became more aware of herself, the cold surface on which she layed, the air which filled her lungs, the faint warmth of her flame through her body trying to ease the painful images of the second Eikon and the Phoenix that still echoed in his mind.
Getting up and looking around for her sword she found herself in a dim hallway of seemingly fallen design. Her heart was gripped by fear as she realized where she was and what likely happened. Placing her closed hand over her chest she tried to hold back the feelings of sorrow that threatened to surge forth and overwhelm her. Feeling like she was losing her balance she braced her hand against the the closest side of the hallway as she struggled with her emotions of sorrow and pain.
"By your flames all our pain and suffering will one day fade away" As she recalled those words she noticed she didn't feel like her flame was different...what shouldn't be if it was joined by that of the Phoenix. 'I'm...not the Warden of fire ?' The realization took a few moments to sink in as her attention was drawn to her flame. Feeling the relief and happiness that washed through her she couldn't stand anymore. Falling to her knees as she allowed herself to cry for the first time since she accidentally injured a bearer while sparring. "thank you." She said quietly as her voice quivered, there was a chance both her and Joshua survived tonight. Blinking away her tears she took several deep breaths to help her mind collect herself while the joy and relief slowly faded. Wiping away the tears after a few minutes she had the presence of mind to realize she could not rest yet, not until she ensured Joshua and Clive were safe and the second Dominant was dead.
Rising to her feet she held out her palm to call on her flame and conjure a tiny orb of fire into her hand to help her take a look at her surroundings. Looking over to the circular platform next to her, what likely was the way topside. The idea to go outside and slaughter what Sanbreque soldiers remained called to her flame, they would deserve it for the pain and suffering they brought and the flames they extinguished within Rosarians, but if she was here the Undying must have carried the Phoenix deeper into the Apodytery and in her state she couldn't hope to hold her own against more than a few soldiers at a time let alone another dragoon or the dominant. With that idea burnt away and she took a step back and turned around to face the door at the other end of the hallway.
'It should have stayed open for a time after the Phoenix went through' Looking at the crystal embedded within the door for a moment she considered her earlier idea again, whatever was behind it was only for the Warden of Fire as far as the Undying was concerned. She shook her head, throwing away such concerns before she walked up to it before allowing her orb that floated around her to fade. Hesitantly placed her right hand up to the crystal and closed her eyes, concentrating on her flame. Only the Phoenix mattered, the faint shadows that came to surround his flame could reprimand her all they wanted once Joshua was safe.
As the crystal in the door came to life and the hallway behind her lit up her sight came to rest on what resembled the drawings her mother had of a Mothercrystal's heart. Lost in trying to take in the quantity and clarity of aether she felt radiating from it. For a moment she stood still in awe, gazing at the sight as tiny specks danced around the crystal,illuminating the chamber and taking in what her flame felt. She didn't even notice she walked the length of the chamber before she stood before the stairs leading to the crystal. Blinking away her awe and looking to the side she looked around the chamber to see she was alone and there was nowhere else to go and Joshua was not here.
'He is with Ariandel and Clive' She reassured herself to silence her thoughts. She turned to leave, steadying herself mentally for what might await her. Feeling frightened about the thought she might have to face the dominant alone.
Still her flame burned with the desire to avenge the suffering visited upon The Phoenix and Rosaria by that dominant. That haunting sight as she watched it...She felt a small part of that horrible feeling of helplessness creep back into her mind. 'I won't let it happen again Phoenix...I promise.' Closing her eyes she concentrated on her flame, it's ever present comfort allowing it to be drawn towards the crystal to calm her mind. "Everything will be alright" She told herself, but she knew she had little hope of killing a dominant without her sword as it's absence severely limited her ability to safely wield her flame and even if she had it she would need to kill them before they called on part of their Eikon's flame to aid them.
A sharp inhale of shock accompanied a realization:
She was welcome despite not having the flame of the Phoenix which she already suspected she would be thanks to her nature and flame, but there was nobody here with her and the hallway was dormant when she awoke.
"Can you hear my plea to heal your little flame ?" Quietly singing the words she lifted her head and turned back towards the crystal "That is why you brought me here, isn't it Phoenix ?" She asked quietly, thinking out loud. 'Because i don't need it...' Taking slow steps towards the stairs once more she recalled some of the images her mind conjured up before she sacrificed herself and her flame trying to heal Joshua and the Phoenix:
Sparring with Clive and teaching him how to wield his flames as a Shield.
Helping Clive stand up to that woman who doesn't deserve to be blessed by his presence for treating him as she does.
Teaching him and Joshua to understand and listen the flames within them.
Taking Catherine under her wing, overseeing her training witnessing her becoming a member of the Undying, she deserved that much as a bearer of fire.
Taking the steps one at a time she already felt her flame be revitalized by the aether around her.
Reaching the crystal she brought her hands in front of herself,placing his right hand over the backside of her left and closed her eyes.
"Your flames shall rest under my wings as long as they need, on my flame I swear Phoenix." While she meant the first part figuratively as she wasn't a dominant, the promise on her flame was one she didn't make lightly. It was the least she could do to repay all the Phoenix did for her.
Gently placing her hand on the crystal she felt her flame be reinvigorated as she listened to the aether around her and from within the crystal.
