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embrace the darkness that's within me[break]
no hiding in the shadows anymore

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The absolute limits that mankind could push themselves to were truly astounding.
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The mental anguish they could withstand, for months or years on end, and then continue to drag themselves forward day by day. Fighting the ache in their chests, the cracking of their very psyche, and yet they continued to live on, despite the horrific pain they found themselves in. How could one, every day, look at themselves in the mirror and put on a false face, while feeling the weights attached to their ankles drag them further and further down into the depths of despair? Drowning in sorrow, wailing in agony. Somehow managing to grab that torture and stuff it in a box, sealing it tight until the end of the day, where they returned to their dwellings and stared themselves down once more; the fragile mask of I’m okay shattering into a thousand tiny, insignificant pieces as the dam broke loose and the strife struck them again, it’s power renewed.
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How much could one take, before they finally broke? How long could one lie to themselves? How long could they try? How many times could they slap the mask on, before it no longer fit? When would shoving the pain away no longer work?
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Crash.
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Nero gasped, a sharp rasp for air as he drew his hand away from the mirror. The shards fell, twinkling and shining, breaking on the worn, wooden dresser. In the shattered remains, countless glowing, red eyes stared back at him – all wide, all pained, all desperate. The Tsviet took his gaze off of the mirror, only to look at the bloodied hand now clutched to his chest. It hurt. Not his hand, the sting from that was a welcome distraction, but his heart. Oh, how he had been hurting, day by day, for so very long.
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He tried, he truly did. He became a denizen of this world and made a home, one Weiss would be proud of. Nero found work, he earned money doing things he was good at, he greeted people day in and day out like a normal person would. He remembered the names of others. He didn’t attack unless provoked. He made a name for himself in the Sonoran underworld as an assassin, someone powerful, so that he may attract others in power. And every day he searched, he threw money at those who specialized in finding others, and he dared to hope. Dared to dream that someday, this life he had created would attract the one man who truly mattered to him, the only person he needed to be happy.
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“Why…?” Nero asked his broken reflection, voice shaky as despair clutched his throat, “Weiss, why … Why aren’t you here?”
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He had done everything right, hadn’t he? He’d made a life that Weiss could be proud of him for. He created the things that they could never have as slaves to Deepground. He had nearly mastered his own curse; free from Shinra’s mechanical monstrosities, the mask and the suit that bound him to weakness. Nero cursed, a sob breaking free from his chest as the warm tears fell from his bottom lashes. He … he had played by the rules, and with what had he been rewarded? Nothing that he couldn’t have taken by force to begin with. Was he expected to continue this farce? To continue to do nothing but hope and dream like a fool? Await disappointment day after day until the world collapsed on itself?
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No….
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Nero’s trembling hands fell to his sides, before tightening into shaking fists. The trembles made their way up his arms as he gasped for breath, one panicked sob at a time.
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I can’t take anymore of this … !
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The thought of waking up alone another day. Of going through the monotonous motions one more time. Of disappointment over no news again and again and again.
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Nero’s hands threaded through his thick, black hair, smearing the blood from his wound on his cheek. He looked up to the ceiling, pulling on his dark strands, muttering incoherent words to himself in an effort to calm the raging river that was bursting through his chest. He had kept it at bay for so long. He had lied to himself for so very long.
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Weiss … will never be here… !
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The scream that left his lips was that of a desperate, grieving man. Akin to a man who had just found his loved one dead on the floor. The tears were hot and searing, burning as they tracked down his face. Was he still screaming? Was he still shaking? It all felt so numb, so very, very numb. He wanted to vomit. He wanted to die.
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Nero fell to his knees with a heavy thud, boots trapped under him as he continued to yank his hair to and fro, grasping for what little remained of his sanity. Ha, sanity, as if he ever truly had that. Everything he had built here had been a lie. His life was a farce. Slowly, his trembling limbs stilled and his breaths calmed from quick, panicked spurts to long and calming. Nero’s hands fell from his head to rest on his knees as he blankly stared forward – the remains of the mirror on the floor reflecting everything around him. Highlighting the lies.
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This was never who or what Nero the Sable was meant to be, and he had been kidding himself to play otherwise. He was a weapon. A killer. A monster, created to do nothing but kill on command. He had found peace, on his world. Something to keep him happy, calm, controlled. But that peace – Weiss – wasn’t here, and he never would be, would he? This world refused to give him up. Was he not walking the streets of this planet somewhere? Was he somewhere across the cosmos? Across time and space itself? Was there someone or something keeping him from Nero?
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Did it … did it even really matter, anymore?
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He thought of all the faces he saw on the sidewalk every day. Of the people living in this squalor alongside him. People, smiling and happy. Parents holding the hands of their children. Lovers singing each other’s praises loudly into the night. Other people like himself, trapped in this new world, and yet somehow still able to make connections. To find friends. To find love, peace, happiness.
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The numbness that gripped him slid away as his body warmed with a more familiar emotion. The blood in his veins turned to fire, curling around his heart. Nero grit his teeth hard, eyes falling to the floor as he watched the darkness pool beneath his body. The inky blackness grew, covering the floor, tendrils of dark matter crawling up the wall. The chaotic magic shimmered with its own disturbing beauty as it crawled over the shattered remains of the mirror, consuming them along with everything else in the room.
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It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that other people in this world had everything they wanted. That they lived each and every day in relative happiness. They didn’t know true suffering. They didn’t know what it was like to take on each and every day shackled to lies and despair and guilt and fury – !
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“That’s it …,” Nero laughed breathily, tilting his head back as he took in pained breath before screaming, “That’s it! If I cannot find happiness here … then why should anyone else!?”
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The darkness writhed and twisted erratically, and the ground cracked beneath him. Slowly, the Tsviet levitated, letting the dark power inside of him truly take its hold over him once more. The walls shook beneath the inky infinity. The floor gave way. Screams erupted from the apartment beneath him. Nero let the darkness take him down, down into the apartment where a man and woman stared at him in horror as everything around them was consumed in blackness. Tendrils of darkness erupted beneath their feet, grabbing them as they screamed, lifting them into the air where Nero floated effortlessly. It crawled into their bodies, into their eyes, and the Sable did nothing more than cackle as they twisted in ways that human beings shouldn’t, shrieking.
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Their pain, it sounded almost as horrible as what he felt. Almost.
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The darkness broke through floor after floor above and below, grabbing more human prey to drag toward its unwilling master. Each additional scream added to the symphony of destruction, crippling pain and madness. The innards of the building fell to ruin or disappeared into the darkness, leaving most of it hollow, broken. Nero levitated further down to the ground floor, the soon-to-be corpses plastered to parts of the still standing walls, hanging from ledges, and some fell to the floor around his feet, still twisting in agony. The door to the apartment complex fell open, unleashing their screams into the still night of Sonora.
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Slowly, the sounds began to fade. One by one, life left their eyes, air left their lungs. Nero looked to the closest human, nudging his boot against their cheek to see their face; frozen forever in horrific agony. His chest trembled again, not with sobs this time, but laughter. Manic, insatiable laughter.
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If this world would not give him what he wanted, then he would steal the happiness from everyone else. Take it, crush it, shatter it, devour it until there was nothing but pain. If he had to wallow alone in the darkness, then at least corpse after corpse could keep him company.
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“Now then,” Nero muttered to himself, straightening his black coat as he looked out of the wide open door of the now hollowed and destroyed apartment complex, tendrils of darkness beginning to climb and dig their way into the outside of the building in search of more toys to destroy, “Where to…?”
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nothing can save you and there's no way out