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year 5, quarter 3
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[attr="class","character-spring-1c"]“Autumn Queens and Corn Dollies”
[attr="class","character-spring-1d"]Hilda’s new home was not yet well furnished. For the first time in her life, she could not simply snap her fingers, whisper in her decorator’s ear what she would like to see, and then expect to see it in a week. Even so, it brought a strange joy to her breast. Though she had never wanted for anything in her life, except maybe her own life and freedom, most property belonged to her husband or to her wealthy family. As the grand duchess, or a Queen Regent on her world, she could lose everything in a simple snipping of fate.
All her husband had to do was disavow her for her crimes and her family simply turn her away for such disgrace. Then, she would have nothing.
But this new chateau, it was HER’S. She EARNED it through hard work and of her own skill. Or at least her skill and working with another. Nothing could take it away from her, unless she desired to sell it. It needed some work, true. And perhaps within a few years of tending to the land, it may yield grapes for wine. But it felt like safety and security. She could aid Garnet or keep little Eiko safe here.
And most importantly, this was her retreat and safe haven. A place she could contemplate, or study, or do anything she pleased.
It was home. The home felt a little empty by herself, so she invited Queen Garnet Til Alexandros XVIII.
Brush, brush, brush.
She combed out Garnet’s hair, pleased to do so and to tend to her. They talked at length about simple things - the church, Torensten, Provo, the festival. It was followed with a spot of tea and more conversation.
Hilda tried to convince Garnet to change into a more suitable attire. One that would look quite elegant. She opened her currently scarce wardrobe to the young queen. But Garnet would not have any of it, and politely refused Hilda’s offer. The young lady preferred her orange overalls, which Hilda privately thought was much too simple for a queen and the color did not match Garnet’s skin tone well.
However, she was not one to argue with a queen. So, as not to compromise her own style, or overshadow Garnet, Hilda dressed down from her usual attire. It was a dark dress with light pink flowers on it. Instead of a crown, she pulled her hair back in bows that matched her dress.
They took a carriage to the festival and now here they were. A bustle of playing children, petting zoos, and a show of produce and cattle. Hilda had not enjoyed herself at a festival that smelled of animals and straw before. Though, she had taken opportunities to visit the local farms and pick the best of the livestock. In doing so, the family who won got to sell their cattle for a high price, as they were chosen to be the best by the royal family.
As they neared the edge of the festival, she turned to Garnet. “What ever shall we see first?” She asked her, hands folded neatly before her. “There appears to be much to see. Have you made an appearance at one?”
Post by Garnet Til Alexandros XVII on Mar 25, 2022 16:50:21 GMT -6
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There was no denying that Garnet was impressed by the chateau Hilda had acquired. Having been spending her days in a shared, basic church, Garnet had to admit, there was a part of her that longed for the luxury Hilda had managed to restore to herself. Oh, Garnet could live without it, she could endure much worse hardships than not having her poster bed, but that didn't mean there were some nights that she was uncomfortable in the cold shared chamber that she didn't miss the castle a little.
But when she understood what Hilda had to do to earn this place, and the role she had to play, and Garnet had no interest. She had never asked to be royalty, and she wouldn't chose it if she didn't have to. She much preferred the honest life. The free life.
It had been a pleasant day so far. Garnet would have liked to say it had been like her old life, before the concerns of the world weighed upon her shoulders, but it was subtly different. Back then, she had just been a child. But now, she felt like an adult. Hilda was, of course, still her Aunt, but the conversation felt like a conversation between two adults. Even if she let Hilda brush out her hair, which was particularly nice. If Garnet was being honest, she did sometimes miss her shorter hair. It hadn't just been a way to leave her trauma behind, although that had been a big part of it. The honest truth of the fact was that her shorter hair had been much more practical while travelling. But somehow it didn't feel right to cut it. Not while Zidane was still missing. Not while she still had that sadness in her soul.
But soon, they arrived at the festival. Despite Garnet's best efforts, Hilda still wore a dress, albeit one that drew somewhat less attention than her usual attire. She supposed it was a start. She let out a small giggle however, when Hilda asked if she had 'made an appearance' at one. "Auntie, you forget, I'm just Dagger, the white mage from the church. I don't 'make appearances', here. I just go to things," she laughed lightly. "Although, I did make an appearance at one festival. It feels like a life time ago now..." She thought back to the Festival of the Hunt. Of course, her presence hadn't been officially announced. She had been flying under the radar still. But her Uncle Cid had treated her like, well, a visiting princess. She remembered cheering Vivi on, watching as he ran through the crowd. Her heart knotted. Vivi...
And she remembered Zidane of course. Wanting him to lose, just so that she could tease him. And of course, trying not to think about that stupid date. As if she'd go on a date with him....
The thought was absurd now, and she couldn't help but smile a little at the thought of her foolishness back then. She returned to present day, and smiled over at Hilda.
"You know, you should try it. Why don't you, just for today, try not being Lady Hildagarde Fabool. I'll be Dagger and you can be..." she paused, trying to think of a name for her Auntie. A thought crossed her mind. The only name she had to give. "....Sarah. You can be Sarah. Come on, Auntie. Just one day of being yourself, without having to worry what others think. It's one of the most freeing things I've ever experienced..." That and not wearing a dress that was several times bigger than herself, Garnet thought, but she wasn't sure Hilda was ready to be introduced to pants just yet...
[attr="class","character-spring-1c"]“Autumn Queens and Corn Dollies”
[attr="class","character-spring-1d"]Garnet explained that she was just “Dagger.” Hilda let out a soft frown at that. “You are not just Dagger.” Hilda chided softly, glancing at the crowd before them. Everyone had multiple identities, each for a different situation. And as one grew with time, they left different versions of their past selves. “However, I shall call you Dagger, since it is your desire.” She looked back to Garnet as she seemed lost in warm thoughts, before turning to smile up at Hilda. Hilda could tell that the thoughts held something a little deeper than what she was being told. It was not Hilda’s place to press.
“Not be Lady Hildagarde Fabool?” Her eyes widened in surprise as the tips of her delicate fingers covered the surprised expression on her face. “Sarah? I think not.” Hilda shook her head. “Could I simply not just be ‘Hilda’?” It was herself, but simplified. Isn’t that what Garnet wanted her to pose as?
However, Hilda could see that it really meant something to Garnet. So she would certainly try. “I will do my best to ‘be myself’.” It seemed odd to her. A Regentess had to keep up airs in order to comfort the people. Being herself was left to private moments in her tower, where access was restricted to only the regent, his family, and their guards…
~She missed Lindblum’s cobblestone and its clockwork engineering. Though the view from her observatory on top of the castle was a grand sight indeed. How she longingly looked over the far stretches of the water. To imagine herself escaping on the airships that came to port. Or even watch the freedom of the doves, white terns, song canaries, and red-tailed tropicbirds that she often lured to the palace walls with a bit of bird seed. It was a place to stand above the chaos of the castle. A place of reprieve from the masks and politics.~
The lady shook her head. Hopefully Garnet would not disavow Hilda for being herself. It was certainly not going to be the same yearnings and attitudes as Garnet herself. “I will try to do as you say.” But changing someone is not so easy.” She looked about at the crowds and their activities. “What shall we do first then?” If Garnet was to sway Hilda, then Garnet had to teach her.
Post by Garnet Til Alexandros XVII on Apr 2, 2022 12:16:14 GMT -6
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Garnet let out a soft laugh when Hilda attempted to chide her for claiming she was 'just Dagger'. She supposed Hilda still had some way to go before she fully understood. She smiled over at her Auntie softly. "Oh, you should not underestimate 'just Dagger'," she said with a playful smile. "Dagger has done things that Garnet til Alexandros could only dream of. She explored the streets of Treno alone! She travelled to another world. She helped defeat Kuja. Twice! There are an awful lot of things in my life that I do not know I would have found the courage to do without Dagger," she admitted. This was, at least, true. Once she could embrace being Dagger, and walk around freely, to step away from the constant pressure of being a princess (and later, queen), she had found a whole part of herself that she hadn't known existed. A part that Zidane had helped her discover, of course.
There wasn't quite the dichotomy that Garnet made it sound like there was. They weren't two different people. It was just, Dagger was a label she could be free behind. It was an identity that carried none of the weight of her usual title. It felt... freeing, in a manner that nothing else did. It was hard to put into words, but she was keen for Hilda to experience it.
She was, however, a little disappointed that she turned down Garnet's offer of her true name. She supposed it made sense. Hilda was not half as much a known entity here as Garnet had been back on their home world. Garnet always needed an alias, especially with people searching for her. Hilda, less so. "That would be fine. Or, should I say, alrighty, Hilda," she smiled, using one of the first informal words she'd ever learned. Somehow, she doubted Hilda would adopt it any time soon. But it was worth a try, right?
"I know that you think I'm silly, Auntie. And that my situation was rather different. If I didn't have to adopt Dagger as a personae, I likely never would have. I had to go undetected, and so I had no choice. But once I did... Oh, Auntie, I know you don't believe me, but the feeling I had... that first time in Dali, when I tried to be 'Dagger' instead of 'Princess Garnet'... Walking around without my every action, my every step, scrutinised. Without being stopped from doing what I wished. And with people interacting with me based on my own merits, not on the title I had been granted. It just... it felt wonderful. It was so freeing..." she tried to explain. Maybe Hilda really would never understand. Maybe it was different for her. Hilda's status was something she always had to fight to gain. Garnet's was something she was always fighting to escape from. "I don't know if I ever told you this, but 'Sarah' is my birth name. The name I was given in Madain Sari. I only found out when we studied the Eidolon Wall. There are times... when I wonder if that's why being Dagger made me so happy. That maybe, I was being my true self. The peasant girl. That I was not really a Queen. But... I think now I've come to accept the truth. That I am Queen Garnet til Alexandros XVII, but I am also Sarah the Summoner from Madain Sari, and I am Dagger, the White Mage Adventurer. I am all of those things. They are all a part of me. I cannot deny any of them," she explained. And then she gave another small smile, one with, perhaps, a touch of mischief. "But it is fun to pretend for a while," she added with a smirk.
"Let's try the market! They do some clothing here. You'd be surprised what wonderful clothing you can discover once you allow yourself to look through different eyes. They may not be gowns and jewels, but some of them are..." she paused, searching for the right term, in Dagger-speak. "...cute. I would call them cute," she smiled.
[attr="class","character-spring-1c"]“Autumn Queens and Corn Dollies”
[attr="class","character-spring-1d"]Lady Hilda smiled fondly as Garnet laughed at her. Queen Garnet was still a young woman growing into her role. Lady Hilda missed being a young woman. Or perhaps, she simply never got such an opportunity to be such a wild and free one. Hilda was happy that Garnet had such a rare opportunity for nobility and that it gave her such delight! “Oh dear. Dagger is quite ferocious.” Hilda said gently with a smile. “All those feats Dagger accomplished are certainly no simple task. I’m glad you found strength in her.”
Hilda could not bring herself to even say ‘alrighty’. But, she listened to Garnet as they walked the streets without escorts. It felt strange considering their status back on Gaia. When Garnet explained that Sarah was her true name, Hilda shook her head. “Even more reason for me to refuse it. I could never do it the honor it deserves.” She could not assume Garnet’s true name. It would not feel right, like taking something that did not belong to her.
“I don’t think you are silly. Whatever put that in your mind?” She asked gently, raising a brow. “It takes bravery to step out of our norm and assume a new facet of ourselves. It's not ‘pretend’ when it is a part of you.” She sympathized gently. Some people never find that bravery and stay within their comfort zone. “It is okay to embrace such things, as long as you do not put yourself in danger.” She stated eyeing, “You don’t have to explain yourself. I understand.”
They were walking along one of the many waterways in Provo when Garnet suggested shopping for clothing. “I could shop for new clothes. My wardrobe has been running rather thin.” In Lindblum, she had an entire dressing room full of gowns. But here, she needed to rebuild that wardrobe with the little money she made. “Well, let’s go see this ‘cute’ clothing.” She turned down a road for the shopping plaza. There were many tailors along this road and shopping plazas. Many were not to Hilda’s tastes. Too country. Then, there was one to their right. “How about this one?” Hilda gestured to the designer dress store.
Post by Garnet Til Alexandros XVII on Jun 21, 2022 14:50:20 GMT -6
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Garnet laughed a little when Hilda replied about how ferocious 'Dagger' seemed. She knew that her Auntie was teasing her, but Garnet also believed what she had said. Aunt Hilda wouldn't believe some of the things Dagger had done. Travelling the world, camping in tents, fighting monsters, helping Quina catch frogs, getting married by dwarves, battling within the Iifa Tree, there was so much of her adventure that at times she thought it happened to somebody else as well. But then she had been fighting for something. It felt selfish to admit that she missed those days. The freedom. The adventure. When there had been so much danger and so many people in peril, but it had been the happiest time of Garnet's life.
"Oh, Auntie, sometimes... I honestly miss life as Dagger. There were days that were so hard, but there were others... Days when things happened that you would never have thought of. I remember waking up in a tent, and stepping out to see the sun rise, smelling the dew on the grass, and knowing that you were out there, with just people you trusted with your life, where nothing else mattered but who you were inside. It didn't matter who we were back in civilisation. All that mattered was that you would work together, that you all knew you could trust each other, and that you each had a role, and would fight for each other. It's the most I've ever felt I belonged. And it's the truest to myself I've ever been. No titles and no people treating me differently because of who I was. Just... me..." she smiled softly. And then she laughed a little. "I apologise. I really should stop talking about it. I know that it is not appealing to you. And besides, I'm not a child. I know that I have responsibilities," she said, her smile a little tighter.
"Honestly, I feel like the name should mean more to me than it does. I have fuzzy memories of Madain Sari these days, but so little... Sarah might as well be an entirely different person. Some days I feel like Dagger, most days, I feel I am Garnet, but I'm... not sure that I ever feel that I am Sarah," she explained, to try and let Hilda know she didn't find the name particularly special. "I mean, she is still a part of me and always will be. My connection to the Eidolons, my faded memories, Sarah is a part of who I am, but... she never feels like the main part," she tried to explain.
Garnet laughed and shook her head when Hilda pointed to the designer dress store. Clearly, she was not getting the spirit of this. "No, Auntie, not that," she giggled. She paused for a moment, thinking, looking away, and then she turned back. "Pretend... you're running away! You're on the run and you can't have people realising who you are. What would you wear then? If you had to choose from these stalls?" she asked, waving a hand at the nearby market stalls. That might help her understand, and find her own personal 'Dagger'.
Although Garnet was beginning to suspect that Hilda would never be interested in that kind of thing...
[attr="class","character-spring-1c"]“Autumn Queens and Corn Dollies”
[attr="class","character-spring-1d"]Hilda listened to Garnet reminisce about her time with her friends. The young Queen was really fond of the moments. “There’s no need to apologize, dear. It is good to remember such moments. It is what gives us strength when we need it.” She folded her hands and lowered her eyes. “I wonder…” She started coyly, “You are anonymous in this world without the same responsibilities of the last. Could you not have similar experiences with new friends?” If Garnet missed it so much, why not make more friends while she was here? Why did she not feel as free here as she had in the past?
She let Garnet continue about her identities. Hilda thought about it for a moment, “Sarah may just be a quieter sleeping part of you. Perhaps you are neither Garnet, Dagger, or Sarah. Maybe you are someone new, born of all three.”
Hilda let a little frown touch her lips as Garnet laughed at her decision. Apparently, she was not pretending hard enough about running away. “Oh? I am running away now? Pray tell from what?” She gave a bemused smile and a raised eyebrow. Hilda looked over to where Garnet waved a hand at the market stalls. Hilda felt herself inwardly grimace. Were the clothes going to smell of the streets - like animals, hay, and too many people? When she had run away, she wore her typical clothes and stole the best vehicle in town.
“I suppose we can take a look. What would you pick from the stalls?” Hilda strolled in that direction. There was a stand with long flowing garments suggestive of bohemian styles. They even had ghastly paisley and mandala patterns in loud colors. “Is this what you would wear?” Hilda would not be seen in such bright patterns of too many colors. “I don’t think that would do well with running away. One would be spotted immediately.”
Hilda then walked along the stalls. There were too many people here and she felt very uncomfortable without her typical guard. But, she managed to push through. She found some dresses that were bell-shaped and pretty. It was something a young, modern lady might where to a tea party. But the length suggested it was not modest enough for Hilda. “You should try these on.” She turned and gestured to the clothes.