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year 5, quarter 3
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Post by Caius Dragelion on Jan 21, 2021 20:59:57 GMT -6
The Dragonglaive
He thought he had told her the name, but considering she didn’t talk to him for weeks and then things were pretty tense after that, perhaps it had just slipped his mind.
Celes explained that she just drank “around them” as she put it, and he stared at her a moment curiously. Didn’t want her around? Sure, she was a little cold, but she had always been good company for him. “Well, I want you around. If you actually want to go, I mean” he brought up with a laugh. It was an offer, she was under no obligation to go if she did not want to. But she got a small cackle out of him when she admitted she’d heard of “drinking superpowers”. Ah, he’d seen his share too. Torensten was a hotbed for it in particular. He’d seen so many put so much away at the local taverns. He didn’t much like crowds, but at least he had been able to fade into the background there. And heard a story or two as well. Lips were always loosened when whet with a drink.
Celes got into Sabin and he listened attentively. High praise, coming from her. He could see why she had been so adamant he come aboard. Not that he had any reason to argue, he trusted her instincts. But it sounded like she had quite a few traveling companions from her past to go over. Enough to cover an entire night and then some, perhaps. Time he didn’t think he had right now.
“Looks like we have our subject for the night of drinks” he responded with a laugh. His energy was returning, in a sense. But it was also not. His reserves were back, but the rest of him… The rest of him needed rest. And Celes likely knew this too, as when he returned, she brought up he could sleep. “I might do that. I feel like I could sleep for a week and still be tired” he admitted, smiling as he slumped back on the couch a bit. He should probably go and find a bed, but the couch suddenly felt so comfortable…
Though something kept him from entirely dozing off. His thoughts had begun to return to him, and all of a sudden something she said appeared to have struck an old chord with him. He wasn’t sure what exactly it was, perhaps her noting the soldiers didn’t want her around? It brought back old memories of a previous conversation they had regarding those she considered close to her. Under the tree in the field, wasn’t it? The exact words failed him, but considering that, this and all she’d just done for him, he knew he wanted to say it. And say it before he possibly lost the chance to ever tell her again. Life was too short. That poor woman had lost her husband at sea fighting the Kraken. What would she have told him if she knew? Caius had to consider, what would he tell Celes if he knew that whatever fight came next could be his last?
He took a breath to steel himself, and gather what little confidence he had. He knew he was walking into dangerous territory here. “Cel?” he started as he sat back up, scratching his head awkwardly as he struggled to find what would accurately define his thoughts. “The gods themselves know I’m no master at speaking what I mean. Pardon me if this is abrupt, but…”
Oh god this was a bad idea. But he managed to look her in the eyes, swallowed a bit. He felt his hands clench into fists on his lap.
“I want you to know that you’re irreplaceable to me. And I truly am grateful for tonight, and… Everything else, really” he brought up as he managed a sheepish smile. “I couldn’t have asked for a better partner. And you’ve proven that time and time again.”
That sounded… Good, right? Good, he should stop now. Yes, now. Stop before you ruin it. Short and sweet, don’t overcomplicate things.
Final Fantasy VI
22
YEARS
Female
Complicated
Heterosexual
429 POSTS
Fin
Use your own eyes and see for yourself whose side I'm on!
I'm starting to get the feeling that Celes pushes people away
Use your own eyes, and see for yourself which side I'm on.
”Cel?”
Celes looked at him. She already had a sinking feeling about what he would say next. He had a certain tone that wasn’t helped by his preface that he wasn’t good at speaking and that this would be abrupt. Caius was about to talk about his feelings. For her. She shifted preemptively, hoping that her discomfort would be enough to dissuade him. He was never the most observant of men, however.
Few men were.
”Oh,” she said as he continued. She didn’t like how he said it. Irreplaceable. Grateful. Partners. Part of her wanted to blame her rising dread on those old suggestions that he might be in love with her. It certainly sounded like it, and hadn’t she told him to knock that off? But another part, a part that surfaced somewhere between her waking and sleeping mind, told her that it wouldn’t have mattered.
She didn’t like those words because they frightened her. She wasn’t special at all, really. Not to herself, and certainly not to anyone else.
”Well.” She struggled for appropriate words and settled on, ”Thank you.”
Then she fell into silence. What else was there to say? What could anyone say to that?
”I should sleep,” she said as she stood, forcing weight back onto her protesting feet. The wind whistled through the window’s broken glass, and she shivered as it caught her nightdress. She must have looked a mess with her uncombed hair and bare socks. Had he ever seen her like this? Probably, but that didn’t mean she had to like it.
”It’s been a long day. For both of us.” She stopped again, unsure what to say. Should she reassure him about the drinks? Tell him she was glad he was safe? She pushed a loose strand of hair behind her ear. ”Goodnight, Caius.”
With that, she walked past him, heading back to the guest room she’d claimed for herself. Already, she longed for its plush warmth. She wanted it to engulf her. She wanted more than anything to return to her quiet cocoon, unbothered and safe. Still, something uneasy rose inside her at the way they’d parted. She didn’t like leaving Caius alone like that. Not after everything he’d been through.
She’d make it up to him in the morning. Or the day after. They’d have drinks and she’d pretend that nothing had happened and everything would be okay again. Tomorrow.
Post by Caius Dragelion on Feb 3, 2021 18:37:46 GMT -6
The Dragonglaive
Caius knew as soon as he’d finished speaking that he’d screwed it up. As soon as he noticed her expression, her body language and how she spoke her response, he immediately averted his eyes. And for once he actually looked a little bit hurt and frustrated. Not with her, no. In his eyes, she hadn’t done anything wrong. The problem was with him. It seemed like such a simple thing to do, at least on paper. A trifle. Tell her you appreciate her and remind her that she isn’t alone or unwanted. Because she is a good. In as few words as possible, foolproof enough that even Caius could do it, and at least possibly bring a smile to her face. A small, meagre recompense for tonight, and all she’d done, but it was worth a shot, right? How hard was it to do that? To say a few words and not goof it up? Apparently very hard for Caius to do.
Why did he bother? Even the smallest thing seemed to just make her uncomfortable. He supposed it was also possible she just didn’t like hearing those things, but… Gods know he’d goofed his wording enough times to make that unclear. And he sure as hell wasn’t testing that theory.
Great. She’d helped him tonight, even stayed with him pretty much all night while he weathered the storm, and he’d made her uncomfortable. Good job, Caius. You’re sure killing it in the friend department. He mumbled "Sorry" under his breath and wasn't able to look her in the eyes anymore. She said it'd been a long day for them both, and he nodded slightly in agreement. Yes, yes it had been.
"Goodnight."
He couldn't help but watch from the corner of his eye as she left, and he wouldn't admit it to himself, but it was like part of him had left as well. It was like much of the warmth in the room had completely evaporated, leaving him cold once more. Why was he like this? Why couldn't he just be... Normal? Why couldn't he go five minutes without... Without... Well... Gods, so many things. Deep down, he knew he hadn't wanted her company to end. And if it had to, since there would always be tomorrow, the least he could have done was end it on the right note, and yet...
Gods, he was not good at this.
Caius wrapped the blanket around himself as he stood to his feet. He didn't know why, but he felt more alone in these moments than he had in a very long time. He did his best to shake it off, repress it... For that's what he'd always done, right? Every yearning he'd ever had, he had repressed and pushed down. Every memory that had caused him certain levels of pain to relive, he'd pushed away because that's what he needed to do in order to see the job done. So why was it harder than it used to be?
It used to be so easy. But things had changed, hadn't they? He could only start to consider what could have been the source, but he'd started to slowly realize the depths of how much things had changed. He'd stopped keeping everyone beyond arm's reach. And now... Well...
He didn't want to think about it anymore. He was tired and if he kept this up, he'd collapse on the floor. The blonde loosed a long, exasperated sigh as he found a room, found a bed, flopped down and then he was out.
