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year 5, quarter 3
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[attr=class,lyric1]gonna keep on keeping on the only
[attr=class,lyric2]way i know how
[attr=class,bulk] Prompto couldn’t sleep.
He couldn’t sleep and that was a problem because he was exhausted and he hadn’t had a chance to sleep for more than a few scattered hours in the back of a van in days. He should have been out like a light now that he was safe and warm. Noctis was. He could hear his friend’s slow, deep breaths from across the room and knew that nothing short of an earthquake would wake him up. Prompto wanted to sleep. He should have slept but…
It was like something in his head wouldn’t let him. No matter how hard he tried, no matter how much he felt like he might die if he didn’t, something rattling around up there kept him tossing and turning and tossing again. His hands felt twitchy and he was breathing too fast and every time he noticed he was breathing too fast, he’d try to slow it down but then be way too aware that he was breathing at all.
Eventually, he’d had enough trying. He sat up from where he’d made a little nest on the floor of Iggy’s medical room. Ignis had been in and out of consciousness since they’d half-carried him into their getaway car, and now it seemed like he was definitely out. Prompto crept towards the bed and watched his friend until he was certain he’d seen Ignis’ chest rising and falling. Noctis was curled up on the couch, visible in a beam of moonlight from the window. He was dead asleep, alright, but had lost his blanket sometime in the night and looked a little cold. Prompto found it crumpled in a heap on the floor and drew it up to Noct’s shoulders. He gave Noct a tired smile before he sighed.
Everything was alright. Their plan had worked. Ignis was alive. No one was hurt, but…
But it all felt wrong for a reason Prompto didn’t even know. He ran a hand through his hair and crept carefully into the hallway.
He’d get some water. That’s what he needed. Or maybe he’d clean his guns. Or find something in the clinic that needed repairing or…
Or…
His tired eyes landed on the dim light of a candle flickering from a slightly open door. He forgot all his plans, and his curiosity took over as he approached it instead. He couldn’t just leave a fire burning if someone had fallen asleep without extinguishing it. Or maybe there was someone else who couldn’t sleep and could use the company. Like Caius. Or one of the two other guys who were staying at the clinic. He didn’t want to bother anyone, really, but…
He was already peeking inside the room before he could think better of it. When he couldn’t see anything through the crack in the door, he shifted to get a better angle and-
The floorboard creaked. It creaked loud. Prompto froze to the spot, suddenly realizing that he looked like some kind of creep, standing out here like this at whatever midnight hour it was. He hoped, prayed that whoever was inside was asleep and wouldn’t find him.
[attr=class,lyric1]gonna keep on keeping on the only
[attr=class,lyric2]way i know how
[attr=class,bulk] ”Dude…”
Prompto probably should have had something better to say when somebody shared all his worst fears and traumas like that. He probably should have, but he didn’t. Cause when Caius got to talking, he really got to talking, and what did somebody say to all that? It felt weird listening to it all.
It felt real weird.
Prompto took another swig of the whiskey in front of him and winced, coughing just as Caius told them he’d have to kill the love of his life if things didn’t change. ’Smooth, Prompto. Real smooth.’
When he finished, Prompto just kinda sat there, glancing uncertainly at Noctis like he might have some better response than he did. Noctis did have a better response, thankfully. Or maybe not thankfully when Noctis put two and two together and realized the literal, actual Starscourge might have followed them here.
”No way…” Prompto bit his lip, eyes downcast. ”But there aren’t any daemons here! I thought it was supposed to be different…”
He’d thought. But it didn’t really matter what he’d thought, did it? If one woman had the Starscourge then that meant it could spread and she’d had to have gotten it from somewhere, didn’t she? It was so obvious that Prompto could have kicked himself for not putting the pieces together sooner and needing someone else to spell it out for him.
Oh well. Everybody needed a group idiot, right?
Then it came back to Noctis’ worries. The one that Caius had put on his shoulders the last time they’d all talked, and Prompto just watched Noctis warily, really hoping he didn’t have to drag him off like last time or start making a scene.
He couldn’t have ever guessed what was actually on Noctis’ mind.
”Ardyn?” he asked warily. Something turned in his stomach. Maybe it was the whiskey, but it was a bit more like dread. Whiskey dread.
”He wanted you to…?” Prompto repeated as the pieces slowly, hesitantly fit together. ”But…”
No. No way was Noctis suggesting what he thought he was suggesting.
But the pieces finally fit together a bit like the trigger of a detonating bomb. Noctis had been quiet ever since Caius had last talked to them. He’d been hiding something. And this was it. The something that he’d keep even from Prompto, and as it finally came out, Prompto threw himself to his feet, slamming his knee into the table with a muffled, ”Ow!” as he gracelessly turned on Noctis, hands clenched into fists, feeling strangely cold and woozy and probably even paler than usual.
”You want to go after him? Ardyn? He can’t die! He’d just-!”
’Hurt you. Hurt me to hurt you.’ Prompto bit his lip. Hard.
”Look, I want to help Caius too, but that’s not the way to do it! We don’t have a way to do it! If you really did get rid of all the Starscourge or whatever, then however you did it came out of the crystal and we don’t have that anymore! You don’t always have to solve everyone’s problems!”
Prompto was almost in tears now. He furiously wiped his eyes on his coat sleeve.
”I knew we shouldn’t have come here,” he said. ”I’m just trying to look out for you…”
[attr=class,lyric1]gonna keep on keeping on the only
[attr=class,lyric2]way i know how
[attr=class,bulk] Prompto laughed a little as Noctis mentioned the train. Yeah. Yeah, that had been a real shit show, but he didn’t mind laughing now. About that part, at least. Even if it was a weak laugh. A laugh half-drowned in unshed tears.
It was still a laugh. And that was something.
”Together,” he repeated then breathed in slowly. Out slowly. Through the nose like Ignis taught him. It would help him get himself together. Or it was supposed to, anyway.
”I want to be there for you. No matter what. No matter where you go or what you do. I guess that’s why I joined the crownsguard. I knew you couldn’t keep hanging with me forever and…I didn’t want to lose you.” He bit his lip. This was too real for him. This was too real for any of them. Gladio hid his feelings behind all his yelling and workouts. Ignis showed that he cared by helping in every way that didn’t involve feelings at all. And Prompto…
He laughed the pain away. He joked and he didn’t mind being made fun of and he was the silly guy that maybe, hopefully, you just wanted to keep around and he worked hard to keep it that way because if someone lost interest, they’d leave him and then he’d be all alone again. Alone and worthless.
Compared to that, dying at the hands of some monster didn’t sound so bad.
“I know we don’t talk like this. I know it’s stupid. I know it’s girly or whatever…” Prompto wiped his eye with the back of his hand. He didn’t feel like crying so much anymore, but the evidence still remained. Had to catch it before it fell and gave him away. ”But you’re…really cool. You’re good at everything and you’re funny and you don’t let the world tear you down. And I’m just…some nobody. I wanted so bad just to be your friend. And then we were friends and it was like, ‘This can’t be happening,’ you know? But it was. And then I made more friends that came with you and…”
Where was he going with this? There had to be a point in there somewhere. ”And…You don’t gotta ever worry about what you gotta do, being a prince and all. If things had gone different, I wouldn’t mind being stuck in the Citadel as long as it was with you.”
Prompto felt something hot in his face. Not tears this time. Ah shit, he’d gone red, hadn’t he? That’s what he got for having such a pale complexion.
”S-sorry,” he choked out. ”We don’t gotta talk about it. In fact, just forget I ever said anything. What did Prompto say? Nothing. He just sat here quiet. Nothing to see here.”
[attr=class,lyric1]gonna keep on keeping on the only
[attr=class,lyric2]way i know how
[attr=class,bulk] Caius definitely got to the point. That point wasn’t exactly what Prompto had been expecting, but he got to it. Oh boy did he get to it.
Prompto couldn’t help but stare as Caius twisted himself in his seat and tried for a prim and proper bow right there at the table of a sleazy bar on the wrong end of Sonora. The bow couldn’t go very far down though. Not with the table in the way. And suddenly Prompto felt very, very awkward.
”Hey, it’s fine! You don’t gotta-!” But he didn’t get into what Caius didn’t have to do because Noctis was already on it which was a real good thing because Prompto wasn’t exactly sure how he’d handle the situation if he was alone. It was good that Caius was apologizing, and he seemed to mean it too which was even better. Really, Prompto didn’t hold much against Caius personally. He just…
Worried. That’s what he was best at, wasn’t it?
What if Caius planted some idea in Noctis’ head?
What if Caius accidentally made Noctis feel worse?
What if that combination made Noctis run off and…
And…
Prompto didn’t know what, but he was on guard for it all the same. Just in case. Hadn’t Ignis once told him to try to predict all possible outcomes?
Ignis probably wasn’t talking about the racing thoughts of generalized anxiety, but hey! It was something.
Prompto glanced at Noctis worriedly as he talked about a prophecy and taking out the starscourge. Prompto had never heard about a prophecy before – not that he could remember, anyway, and he was sure he’d remember something like a prophecy about his best friend. That whole starscourge thing was what Caius had yelled at them before. Noctis repeated it uneasily.
’I get it,’ Noctis seemed to say, ’I’m not the king you know that did all those great things. But I SHOULD be.’
The thought made Prompto shiver.
He pretended it was from the cold.
Noctis intuited that Caius would be coming back to Sonora because of that girl he wanted to save, and…Yeah. That made sense. Prompto had never known anyone who’d gotten the starscourge himself, but he knew people that had, and it sounded like pure torture. The sick one, knowing they were gonna die, watching the infection spread in dark patches across their skin and knowing there wasn’t a thing they could do about it. Their loved ones, forced to watch and pray even though their prayers didn’t do a thing.
Prompto wasn’t much of a religious person. He knew all about the Astrals from classes in school. He believed in them, obviously, and even if he hadn’t before he sure did now that he’d seen a lot of them in the flesh. Titan was mad and stupid. Leviathan was a bitch to fight. Ramuh was okay except that every time he showed up, they all had to duck for cover or risk getting fried where they stood.
But maybe even he’d start praying if someone he knew got those telltale dark patches. Maybe…
Prompto blinked hard to force his attention back to the conversation at hand. It wasn’t really his conversation as much as it was one between Caius and Noctis, but he was there and he needed to actually listen.
Even if he didn’t have much to add except a muttered, ”Sorry…” and he wasn’t even entirely sure what he was sorry for.
[attr=class,lyric1]gonna keep on keeping on the only
[attr=class,lyric2]way i know how
[attr=class,bulk] Once it had been made clear that Prompto was there to stay, Ignis had taken him aside to give him some advice on mindfulness. Whenever he felt that familiar sense of anxiety welling up, he was supposed to ground himself. What were five things he could see? Well, right now he could see the dark gray snow melting in the gutter, mixed with car exhaust. He could see cars too, going every which way that the foreign street rules allowed. Then there were buildings, some of them tall as skyscrapers, and he saw a scrappy little dog peeking out of a dark alley and then in front of him there was Noctis.
What could he touch? Snow. Cold snow. And he felt the familiar rough leather of his gloves. The wind was kicking up, whipping his face until it turned red. His boots clomped in the wet slushy puddles on the sidewalk. If he reached forward, he could have touched Noctis.
What could he hear? Cars mostly. The background drone of a thousand people in the city, all clomping about like he was and some of them in conversation. He could hear Noct’s silence.
He could smell the choking, suffocating cloud of exhaust that a car sputtered into his face. Once that passed, the wind carried back the distinctive scent of Noctis’ hair gel.
He tasted blood from the sore he’d chewed into his cheek the night before. Worrying.
Noct hadn’t been the same since they’d come back from Seventh Heaven the night they were supposed to be talking about Gladio and Ignis and the whole “we might die in a prison escape” thing. Prompto hadn’t really been in his right mind either, what with getting yelled at and pinned against a table and then running off to a bathroom to cry and all. But he’d been chipper as ever the next day. Noctis…wasn’t.
Not that Noctis was ever really chipper, but he’d been sullen. More sullen than usual. Sullen in the way that something was on his mind. But when Prompto asked, he’d said it was fine even though it was so obviously not fine. Prompto hadn’t asked again, but now he knew it was something that Noctis couldn’t even tell him. Which made it serious. Noctis got like this when he was planning something really stupid. Not like Prompto-level stupid, but even stupider. And more dangerous. Which made Prompto worry.
And worry. And worry. And worry. And worry until there was a sore on his inner cheek and he tasted blood as he walked through the snow on their way back to Seventh Heaven.
What was the other thing that Ignis had said about mindfulness? He should imagine the worst likely scenario. Not the worst he could think up with his mind spinning, but what was the worst that would actually happen. Well, right now, the worst that could happen is that Caius could send Noctis’ crisis nose-diving until it crashed into a cliff and he disappeared into the night to do that mysterious, stupid, dangerous something.
Yeah. That didn’t help.
”Brrr! It’s cold out here, huh?” Prompto called ahead of him just so he could hear his own voice out loud instead of the tailspinning voice in his head. They’d reached that fateful bar already and he saw the sign that still looked kind of like the place was more scandalous than it actually was and Noctis opened the door and the bell rang out and he felt warm air at last except the smell of it reminded him of the disaster of a night they’d had before and it made him feel nauseous.
Gone was the smell of car exhaust and Noct’s hair gel. Now there was only the suffocating scent of old liquor on older wooden floors. That was the smell of Alex leering over him and Caius yelling from a vinyl upholstered booth. Yeah, no thanks.
But he followed Noct anyway. He always followed Noct. That was his job if he wanted to get literal about it, but he’d have done it anyway. He wasn’t about to let Noct go in alone, not here and not anywhere.
Noctis saw Caius before he did. Prompto mirrored Noctis’ wave, albeit less enthusiastically and with an even weaker smile. Noctis unzipped his coat, but Prompto kept his zipped right up. You know, just in case.
In case he needed to drag Noctis back out into the snow again, on the double.
Caius had apologized for his outburst, but it didn’t escape him that Noctis’ mood had turned right after. Prompto might have been stupid, but he was smart enough to notice something like that. He was also smart enough to put two and two together about why Caius wanted to talk to them again in the first place. This wasn’t about Gladio and Ignis. This was about Caius’ Starscourge problem.
Which they couldn’t help with. They’d already told Caius they couldn’t help with it. Yet still, he’d put all that weight on Noctis’ shoulders. Now, Caius was going to double that weight. Prompto hated when that happened.
Sometimes, it felt like Prompto was the only guy in the whole world that saw Noctis as just Noctis. Not the prince. Not the future king of Lucis. Not superpowered and the bearer of some great destiny in a long line of warrior kings that made myths and legends and history books that kids were forced to read in class. He was Noctis. Just Noctis. And Noctis hated whenever anyone reminded him of all the rest.
Noct greeted Caius casually and scooted into the booth until he hit the wall. Prompto slid in after him. There were drinks already sat out in front of them that looked like straight liquor. Caius was already holding his. Noctis picked up a glass and sipped it. Prompto didn’t touch the one meant for him. He had to stay sharp – as sharp as he could be anyway – when there was so much on the line.
Also, he hated liquor shots. Didn’t matter what it was, it always left him sputtering. So there was that.
”Er, hey,” he greeted Caius. ”So uh. Why’d you call us here, anyway? Cause if it’s for the reason I’m thinking then the whiskey makes sense. Heh.” He glanced at Noctis. Noctis didn’t seem as worried as Prompto was. Maybe Prompto was overreacting. Or maybe Noct was just that cool.
Either way, Prompto was here right beside him. Ready to help carry some of that weight on his shoulders. So long as Noct let him, that was.
[attr=class,lyric1]gonna keep on keeping on the only
[attr=class,lyric2]way i know how
[attr=class,bulk] ”Heh.” Prompto couldn’t help the softest, saddest, weakest attempt at a laugh in his life. Noctis was being so…honest. And he was saying nice things about him that made his ears burn. It didn’t feel right, somebody saying nice things about him like that. He was the group fuck-up and he knew it. The guys were always ribbing him. The good kind of ribbing. The kind that came from friends with a nudge and a pat on the shoulder, but still. He was the one who crashed cars and complained too much and made the dumb jokes and always went down first in a fight. He was the one with the least training, the least experience, the least brains.
He didn’t deserve to have nice things said about him like that. He didn’t deserve Noctis telling him he wouldn’t let him down like it was a fact and not a question. He didn’t deserve that little acknowledgement – ’You’ve always been there for me. Even after I threw you off a train.’
And all Prompto could say to that was just…a laugh. A little laugh. The softest, saddest, weakest attempt at a laugh in his life. What else was he supposed to say?
’Of course I’ve been there. Please don’t leave me again. I need to be there. I’d rather die than leave your side.’
Yeah. He’d get roasted so hard for that. Not exactly up to the standards of the bro code.
”I want to help as much as I can,” he said instead. ”I mean, I know it’s not much, but you always had a lot to carry. No one ever expected anything from me. So…”
So what? He didn’t know where he was going with this.
”Sorry. About the Crownsguard thing.” Yeah, that was a great idea. Don’t know where you’re going? Pivot to something else. ”I knew you liked having somebody who wasn’t from the palace. But…I got talked to sometimes. About how you were the prince and couldn’t keep hanging out with some kid who worked at a camera shop forever…”
Prompto rubbed his neck. He’d never actually talked to Noctis about the whole Crownsguard thing before. Why he did it. How Noctis felt about it. It was just “Surprise! I’m here forever now! And working for your dad! Turns out I’m great with guns. Weird, huh?”
The bro code didn’t allow a lot of talks like this. With tears and truth and hot cocoa.
”I didn’t wanna tell you, but those guys from the palace were always giving me a hard time. Cause, you know, we got an apartment and you were working with me at a camera store and they had to work extra hard to keep you safe.” Prompto rubbed his neck, keeping his eyes trained on the minty hot cocoa. ”I mean. I know you wanted to do all that, but they acted like I’d stole you away from your dad or something. So I asked Ignis about joining up. And man, it was hard. Iggy and Gladio both helped, but I’m pretty sure I thought my whole body was broke after I trained with Gladio the first time.”
He laughed again. Louder this time. They both knew how Gladio could be.
”But then I did it. But I never told you I was gonna do it. So…sorry for that.” His face was red. His ears were red. Was it from the cold? Or the feeling like he wanted to sink into a hole? His stupid pale face. It always told on him when he felt like that.
[attr=class,lyric1]gonna keep on keeping on the only
[attr=class,lyric2]way i know how
[attr=class,bulk] Prompto knew he shouldn’t have said anything. He knew it before he opened his stupid mouth. He knew it as the words tumbled out anyway. He knew it even more as Noctis responded, looking just a little more downcast and as he stumbled over the words that made Prompto’s heart sink straight to his stomach.
”It’s not a job!” he protested almost as soon as Noctis said it. Then he paused and added, ”Well I guess it is, but like. Come on. I never even got paid.” He tried for a smile. A joke. Of course he was joking at a time like this. Stupid Prompto, always making light of everything even when it was the damage that he’d caused.
”I-I mean it though. Half the time I forget I’m a Crownsguard at all. I don’t feel like one. I’m just…you know. Your friend.” Prompto looked down into his hot chocolate and watched the darkened swirls. Then he lifted the mug and took a long drink. It was sweet and thick and bitter and minty and so hot it scalded his mouth a little, but it warmed him up and made sure his mouth couldn’t run on its own and make any more mistakes.
Back in Insomnia, he’d wanted to be a Crownsguard more than anything. He’d worked hard for it, even training with Gladio and Ignis without Noctis knowing. Keeping that secret had been hard when Prompto wasn’t someone who could keep a secret to save his life, but he hadn’t wanted Noctis to get his hopes up or worse – think that Prompto had only ever stayed around him to make a name for himself.
He’d done it because he knew that one day Noctis would be the king of Lucis, and kings of Lucis couldn’t hang around nobodies they’d met in high school. They also couldn’t share an apartment with said nobody and play videogames until dawn and go around the city to find just the right place for a group selfie.
Prompto had loved everything about their friendship, but he’d known it couldn’t last. Not unless Prompto himself made a change. He’d do anything to make it last.
He'd never thought of himself as a Crownsguard. Not really. But when the day came to take his vows, he’d meant every word of them. Was he willing to give his life for Noctis’? He wouldn’t even hesitate.
When Prompto finally lowered the mug of cocoa, he thought he had his thoughts straight. He hoped so anyway.
”What I mean is…I made a promise, you know? To Iggy and Gladio and…your dad.” Prompto glanced away. ”I haven’t always done it right. Let’s be real, I was always the weakest link. I don’t make the plans or go in all crazy with a sword. I’d be dead a hundred times if you couldn’t use a phoenix down.” He watched his cocoa like it might have all the answers to life itself. Maybe it did, somewhere in its vanilla swirls.
”I’ve always just followed them. Now they’re gone. And…And I’m just really…” Prompto swallowed. Shit, his eyes were burning.
[attr=class,lyric1]gonna keep on keeping on the only
[attr=class,lyric2]way i know how
[attr=class,bulk] Prompto should have just stood there. He should have just waited now that he was at the spot that they’d agreed upon at the time that they’d agreed to and Cindy could be there any moment. But Prompto was never any good at standing still and waiting. And as his eyes wandered, he caught sight of the ice rink and a couple of skaters who were like dancers on the ice. He could see the picture coming together – the two of them, crossing paths, bodies arched like swans with the snow-covered pines in the background. And for a moment, he forgot his nerves as he grabbed his camera, flipped through the settings, and put his eye to the viewfinder.
He shifted, trying to find just the right angle which ended with him half-kneeling in the snow, camera tilted up so he could capture the feeling of flight. Then he had to wait for just the right moment as the skaters glided gracefully towards each other again. Waiting wasn’t so hard when it was for the perfect shot. Because he was in the zone. He had a vision, and by the Astrals, he was going to put it to film.
The skaters approached each other. His finger tensed on the shutter button. And then…
”Well hey there, handsome.”
”Wha-?!”
Panic bolted through him so hard that he flinched and his hands stopped working and his camera went tumbling into the snow with a muffled sort of thump. That’s what snapped him out of it. His camera. In the snow. He let out a strangled sort of cry as he scrambled after it, as he muttered, ”Oh no no no. Come on! Please work, please work!” He picked it up gingerly like it was a bomb that might go off and then brushed off the snow and ice, rubbing the camera on his coat to try to dry it off.
What would he do if he broke it? Where would he find another? Sonora was the place for it, sure, but he didn’t have that kind of money and even if he did he doubted the memory card was compatible with any computers here. Not that he had a computer here. He’d never back up what he already had. Pictures of his friends. Of Lucis. All of it, gone.
He almost sobbed in relief as his library of pics reflected back at him in the LED screen. ”Yes! Still good!”
Which left him with just one problem. One big problem standing right behind him. Terror seized him all over again, rushing up to his throat and tightening it as he remembered what had caused him to drop his camera to begin with.
”Oh, uh. Cindy! H-hi!” Prompto turned to face her like, feeling like a kid who’d been caught with his hand stuck in a cookie jar, and there she was. His Goddess. She was dressed a little differently today. Long jeans, a winter hat, a longer coat zipped most of the way up. He couldn’t blame her. It was cold out here, and Cindy was nothing if not practical. And beautiful. And really good with cars.
He ran through what she’d said to him in his head. ‘Hey there, handsome.’ Handsome? Had she meant it or was she just kidding around? His head spun with the thought. Was this a date? It couldn’t be, right?
”Er, uh. You too!” he said as he scrambled upright before horror struck him as he realized what he’d implied. ”You’re looking p-pretty, I mean! Not handsome. Cause handsome’s for boys. Unless you want to be handsome and then, you know, you could be. If you want to.”
He could almost see himself from outside his own body. Like something else had taken control and he was helpless to watch the trainwreck it was making. It was like playing a videogame where the character model starts bugging out. Except it was him. Him, right there, doing it in real time. He felt his cheeks go red as he rubbed the back of his neck, wincing.
[attr=class,lyric1]gonna keep on keeping on the only
[attr=class,lyric2]way i know how
[attr=class,bulk] Prompto let out a short, uncomfortable laugh to hide the feelings that welled up in his throat. They were like brothers. Prompto didn’t know what to say to that. Maybe this was why they didn’t talk about sappy stuff much. But Noctis had called him his brother. Him. Prompto. Sure, he knew Noct had basically grown up with Gladio and Iggy. They’d had that big brother dynamic since the moment he’d met them, but…
Prompto? He was just some guy. Some kid who had been bold enough to walk right up to Noctis and pretend they’d never met before. Some nobody who Noctis had decided he liked enough to keep around for some reason. And now Noct considered him right there with his guards who were practically family.
Shit. Now his eyes were getting blurry. Prompto lowered them and with a small smile just said, ”Heh. Thanks.”
The mug of hot, steaming cocoa came in and out of focus in front of him. For some reason, Prompto didn’t feel so much like drinking it anymore.
”They were the ones that always knew what they were doing,” Prompto admitted for reasons that were beyond him. ”It’s kinda scary going it just the two of us. You know? It’s like…I’ve gotta be me. And I’ve gotta think ahead like Ignis. And protect you like Gladio. Cause it’s just me. I wasn’t ever any good at this to begin with.”
The words tumbled out of him all on their own. Just him having too many feelings. Just his big mouth running without anyone telling it to. Business as usual in his dumb brain. Prompto cleared his throat and picked up the cocoa more to distract himself than anything. He liked the warmth of it in his hands even if it didn’t really seep so well through the leather of his fingerless gloves.
”I just mean…They’d want me to do it right, you know? Now that we’re together. I don’t want to let them down.”
[attr=class,lyric1]gonna keep on keeping on the only
[attr=class,lyric2]way i know how
[attr=class,bulk] Prompto was only a little disappointed that he couldn’t show off his super cool off-the-grid rebel painting skills, but only a little. He still thought that his way was better and he still didn’t like the idea of going in looking like a bank robber (plus a mask like that would totally flatten his hair and he spent ages gelling it right), but it was Noctis’ choice so Prompto just shrugged and said, ”Yeah. Guess that works,” even though he felt a little prickly that Caius got to be cool and capable and they were listening to him about tech which was totally Prompto’s thing.
But it didn’t matter so much, really. Not compared to what came next.
”Huh?”
Prompto’s voice went up an octave as Noctis made the connection that Prompto hadn’t. If the Starscourge was here then that meant…
”No. No way.” Prompto’s mouth felt dry. That hot feeling from the whiskey came back and swirled around nauseously. ”He’s…?”
Yuna had seen him too. He remembered that from up on the ferris wheel. How she’d told him the story and it had felt like the floor had fallen out from under him and he was falling straight through. But that had been ages ago, she’d said. He couldn’t still be…?
”I, um. Heard from somebody that saw him too,” he muttered, glancing away. ”I just didn’t think…”
He didn’t think. That was his problem. It was always his problem. Because right after that, he’d seen Ignis and Gladio and he hadn’t let himself dwell on the very real possibility that Ardyn could be anywhere and he’d never even know the difference.
He didn’t like hearing his name. He didn’t like talking about him. He didn’t like hearing about him. He didn’t like learning more about him either, but something that Noctis said struck through the sudden ringing in his ears anyway, and Prompto frowned, glancing at his friend. ”Wait, really?”
Ardyn could cure the Starscourge? That was…new.
He might have asked more about it if Caius hadn’t gone on the attack a second later.
”Bullshit.” Caius’ expression changed. It really changed. His eyes were set on Noctis like he wanted to strangle him. ”You wiped it out. It was gone. Not a trace left in Eos, and you expect me to believe that-!”
”H-hey!”
Prompto didn’t know what was happening. One second they’d been talking about Ardyn and then the next Caius was picking fights. What he’d said didn’t even really hit when he was saying it in that tone, glaring at Noct like he’d done something wrong. Even Caius seemed to realize that he was out of line when he quickly sighed and bowed his head, apologizing.
What was with people exploding on them today? Prompto looked between Caius and Noctis uncertainly, not really sure what to say.
He was starting to think there was a reason they didn’t have more friends. When Noctis was the prince of Lucis and was going to be king one day with all the cool powers and responsibilities and everything that came with it, it led to people thinking he could do just about anything and that he should do it for them. It made people want to use him. It made them mad when they couldn’t.
”Yeah, well, Noct’s not an Oracle. It’s not his fault.” Prompto watched Caius cautiously even as he admitted his mistake and promised to help. After he’d seen that dark look in his eye, he wasn’t sure he could trust him as much as he’d thought he could. ”We’ve got a plan. That means we’re done here, right?”
Prompto gave Noctis a purposeful look and grabbed his arm. He knew how Noctis could get when the weight of expectation was thrown at him. Sometimes, he needed somebody to guide him away from it so he didn’t think too hard and start blaming himself. ”Come on, Noct. Let’s get outta here.”