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year 5, quarter 3
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[attr=class,bulk] She listened to his reasoning. He crouched beside her and her tail waved contentedly at his presence. He booped her nose.She closed her large eyes at the touch, before looking up expectantly at him. Her tail clearly showed her satisfaction and non-fear at his touch. She felt cheeks burn for some reason. [break][break] “I’m not afraid.” Her head shook. She wasn’t afraid. She was made to crush human souls and repurpose their planet. She was supposed to be brave and strong like her brothers. She was created to support or replace them in their endeavors. There was another long silence. [break][break] “I try to understand humans like you and Zidane wanted me to. It feels impossible.” She was disheartened, not frightened. It felt easier to avoid them. Was that not why Zidane left her in the Black Mage Village isolated from all the Gaians? She was not ready to coexist. “If I cannot understand them, then how can I trust them to touch me?” She had no urge to kill something she did not understand. [break][break] She looked up to him. “I understood Garland’s reasons. Garland also understood my biology and improved upon it.” He created her to be superior. To be a suitable vessel. “This human tears apart what he does not understand for curiosity.” It was different. [break][break] Putting her rapier in her sash and holding up her staff for light, she was now ready to explore. Dutifully, she stepped forward. “It separated from me. It was in a giant spider in Headstone forest.” She wondered why his soul suddenly felt prickly again. She felt it was best to not elaborate. [break][break] Kuja broke the silence and she shook her head. She did not see much of it at all. “I never left Black Mage village. I was put there because I was not ready.” [break][break] Now she had to be. All she had learned about humans was from Black Mages who tried to imitate them despite their fear of those same people. “Earth Shrine?” She echoed back. [break][break] Up ahead, there was a bend in the shadow ahead. That meant there was a room right? She looked up at the wall and the cable she was following bent its way into that room. Finding herself curious, she began to quicken her pace to round the corner. It was there she nearly face planted into a red with many, many eyes. Her tail fluffed as she skidded to a stop. [break][break] How was Hecteyes here? Surely they were byproducts of failed Terran experiments. Despite her surprised state, she realized she didn’t have her rapier in hand to act as her arcane conduit. With her staff however, she simply had to mentally shift to her more natural abilities. “Divine Crush.” Her staff suddenly shined red as she swiped it against the undead. A deep gash appeared in the blob's flesh. She shimmered nearly the same color as the staff. [break][break] In response, the creature blinked at her. The stale air rippled with prismatic colors and Mikoto wavered slightly on her feet, as if fighting to stay awake; A hypnotize spell.
The subtle ire of Kuja’s soul spiked into something closer to resentment. For not the first time, Kuja wondered how wise it might be (for his sanity at least) to spend so much of his time around Garland’s docile little lap dog. It was one thing that she’d inherited a staff. It was quite another for her to defend the mass of unaging steel and biomechanical components pretending at lordship over a dead planet.
’I understood Garland’s reasons. Garland also understood my biology and improved upon it.’
Improved upon it from what, Kuja wondered as they stepped carefully into the darkness. From her original form? From Zidane’s? From his? Oh yes, Kuja remembered quite well Garland’s attempts to improve upon him until finally the lord-master of Terra abruptly gave up his efforts and created new life to replace him. What would Mikoto say if Kuja told him that it was only a matter of time before the same fate came for her? Likely that she would accept it, of course. That it was her duty to face death willingly if that was what their master required.
Kuja’s tail bristled at the thought. Oh yes. She would most definitely sense that emotion, now wouldn’t she? Perhaps he would not even bother shielding it from her. She would have to learn to read other beings eventually, and why not start with the one she could sense psionically?
Then she would wonder if she had said something wrong. She would wonder what and why. Kuja remembered those days, staring helplessly at the human expressions that were so foreign to him wondering, helplessly, how he could have avoided such a humiliating lack of understanding.
Now it was her turn.
”The Earth Shrine housed one of the four guardians to Terra’s portal,” Kuja said, answering only her immediate question. ”It was an underground labyrinth of traps and dead souls located deep below the Outer Continent. When Terra attempted its first doomed fusion with Gaia, several of its locations merged with the planet, and in time, they became lost ruins to which no Gaian could gain entry. The elemental shrines were four such structures.”
None of that mattered now. It hardly mattered back then. But the conversation kept his mind off the gloom and the dust. If he were not speaking with Mikoto then he would have been speaking out loud to himself and his own echo.
Mikoto looked up towards the cables winding their way along the ceiling and around a bend into the darkness. Then she ran ahead of him. A beginner’s mistake, and a foolish one at that. Kuja did not quicken his pace. Not even when he heard Mikoto’s monotone echo ahead of him and saw a dim flickering of red light that could only have come from magic. If she had stumbled across some monster, she was not so fragile that she couldn’t lose a bit of blood without losing her life.
Kuja expected to see Mikoto in dire straits when he rounded the corner. What he did not expect was a Hecteyes.
Kuja’s eyebrows raised as he took in the scene. The hideous blob of red flesh, blinking its absurd amount of deep blue eyes in his direction. Mikoto, standing dazed before it. Kuja had not expected anything so deadly or so, well, Terran in these tunnels, but despite the abysmal creature’s undeniable strength, that also gave it a grave weakness.
It was Terran. Which meant Kuja knew it quite well. He could have recited its entry in the Terran archives from memory.
’Weak to fire. Strong against shadow magic. Undead.’
Kuja sighed and waved a hand. A simple Life spell later, and the monster was nothing more than a puddle of foul-smelling sludge at their feet, its eyes still blinking without comprehension of its own demise. Kuja walked up to Mikoto and shook her gently by the shoulder. With the creature well and dead, the effects of its hypnotizing spell should have worn off, but there was always a chance that it would persist in those seconds between life and death.
”Tell me again how you intend to protect me?” His lips flickered with the shadow of a smirk. His eyes strayed to the muck spreading across the floor. ”I can’t say that I missed dealing with these. Truly an abomination so horrid that it could only exist on Terra. I wonder what it was doing here of all places…”
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[attr=class,tagline]@blacksuit4
I'm so sorry about the wait! I love this thread, but real life has destroyed me for months. I hope to be back at it again soon!
[attr=class,bottomlyric] THIS IS A GIFT, IT COMES WITH A PRICE.
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He is gonna be surprised that she is growing. Including growing tired of his abuse. This is what happens when a 2-year old has hypno therapy. Kuja
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[attr=class,bulk] It was hot and sharp. It was clear he was seeing red. It was enough to make her recoil, her tail hanging low. Though the strength of it made her dizzy, she did her best to lean into it, like she did with the spirits of Headstone forest. He thought her weak, but he simply, much like her, didn’t know where her true strengths lie. [break][break] She didn’t hear his response about the shrines as she withstood the brunt of her psionic emotional attack. And trying to understand its meaning had distracted her just enough to fall under the Hecteyes spell. It wasn’t quite anger at her, was it? It was Garland. Everytime she mentioned him in any capacity, these same spiky impressions came up. [break][break] As he shook her awake, there was a blank stare up at him. The fog still clouded her eyes for a few more seconds. Then, as they cleared, there was something bright and chaotic in the way the dim light touched them. [break][break] Mikoto felt her pulse rising in irritation at Kuja’s tone of voice. She lashed back, her tail thrashing. For a moment, it seemed like she confused him for the enemy. She tossed all her own emotions at him at once: [break][break] Cold depression from being chased out of a village. [break][break] Hot irritation at his sharp emotional impressions. [break][break] Luke-warm confusion at what his problem was. [break][break] Fiery adrenaline causing her to tremble under its spell. [break][break] Steamily fighting the haziness of hypnotism. [break][break] Why did he think his feelings were stronger than her’s? They both have souls. Just one of them had more experience in expressing himself. [break][break] She angrily trembled and for a second it looked like she was going to say something. Then, she hesitated. She took a step like she was going to run into the deep cavernous abyss by herself. [break][break] No. If she ran away, she wouldn’t get answers. And she hated not knowing. She hated not having answers. She hated not knowing how to approach a situation. [break][break] “Why?” She choked out, clenching tightly the staff in her hand. “This connection we share was given to help us understand one another for efficient cooperation. Yet, you often use it to hurt.” Another pause, “I didn’t put you in this situation. You didn’t trust Garland’s plans. You destroyed Terra. You deny your fate. You put yourself in this situation. Why punish me for your choices?” [break][break] She felt hot tears touch her cheeks. She pulled her staff closer to her chest, staring down into the dying eyes of the hecteyes. “I didn't want to live. I wanted to rest with Terra. But you and Zidane kept pushing it. It feels like existing has been such a burden on us both.” Zidane told her to keep looking for the answers, but it was hard for her to find them. Sleeping felt so much easier. [break][break] “And Garland doesn’t exist anymore! I don’t understand why his name has such an effect on you, when he cannot control us.” [break][break] She was tired. She looked back down where they came. She just wanted to sleep and stop these wet streaks down her cheek. She thought maybe her purpose was to keep him safe. But it was clear with his words that wasn’t it either. She didn’t know anymore. He was clearly capable of looking through the cavern on his own. [break][break] Then, she looked back at him. Cold determination in her eyes, standing her ground. If he didn’t give her answers, then she would clearly just leave.
[attr=class,bulk] Mikoto looked up at him with the same apathetic, hazy look as she always wore. It was impossible at first to decide whether or not she still felt the monster’s hypnotic spell, but then her eyes cleared and her expression changed with it. Something gleamed in those placid blue eyes that couldn’t have existed in their soulless counterparts. And then he felt it.
Her tail lashed. Her lips pursed. Emotions shot from her like a psionic arrow meant to pierce his defenses and shatter the wall he’d constructed between them. In that instant, he felt it all. A kind of dull depression and loneliness mixed with frustration at his demeanor, the lingering fight or flight instincts of battle, and the underlying haze of hypnotizing magic. She looked at him, and he recognized that look. Defiance.
Kuja raised his eyebrows as he took a step back from him. Her boots sank into the foul-smelling tar of the dead Hecteyes. It would take ages to remove it.
Vocalization had always given Mikoto difficulty, and at first, Kuja thought she would content herself with her emotional attack, confident that her feelings had gotten through him by psychic link alone. Then her grip tightened on her unfairly granted staff, and she finally managed to speak. From her demeanor, it was clear that she thought she would hurt or even shock him. It made him want to laugh. With her tail thrashing about, fur bristling, she looked far more like a baby mu mewling for respect from its pack.
She cried as she spoke of her desire to die, tears streaking down her cheeks. She looked down at the melted monster beneath her feet as though in contemplation or perhaps longing before she looked back at him again. It seemed at some point she’d learned to raise her voice or perhaps he had simply pushed her to it.
Kuja, for his part, watched her with a kind of idle curiosity, eyebrows raised in surprise if not shock. He certainly was not overwhelmed by her emotions nor did her words contain the poisonous barbs that she perhaps intended. Once she was finished, he simply pushed back a handful of hair, tilted his head, and sighed.
”How long has it been since you gained sentience?” he asked. ”Your soul has developed since we first met.”
He turned and took a few steps from her, stopping to consider the age-worn walls and the cables strewn above them. It was a better view than the slowly blinking pool of eyes at their feet.
”I abhor honesty,” he said, examining the archaic technology hanging above his head. ”It’s inconvenient and far less amusing than lies. Though I suppose it has its place, and if you so desire the truth then so be it.”
He raised a hand and waved it carelessly before resolutely crossing his arms.
”How long did you live on Terra? After you awakened to true consciousness, I mean. You were still unaccustomed to your own emotions when we met so I’d guess…a few months? Less than a year, certainly. By now, you’ve spent more time here than there, on a living planet granted the privilege of freedom.” Kuja’s lips twisted into a dry smirk. ”If you had spoken that way to him then he would have shut you down halfway through the first sentence and blamed your defiance on a failure of construct.”
His heart pounded with a dark and twisting hatred. It pounded in his throat a little like adrenaline, but no. He was not afraid. He never had been.
”I spent twelve years at his side. I was at his mercy and his command with nothing but the dull gaze of the soulless genomes to accompany me, and when I acted in self-preservation when he attempted to replace me, I was sent into exile. One might think that his grip would loosen then, but of course it didn’t. If I did not achieve the results that he had already deemed it impossible that I could achieve then my life would end. My entire existence until now has been shaped by him either in obedience or defiance, and you would ask why his name has an effect on me?”
He breathed, slow and steady, quite used to the rise of wild emotion that such thoughts invoked in him. Mikoto had clearly thought her own psychic projection of depression and frustration would disorient him. They were pale imitations of his own daily existence, and always he had been forced to keep his composure. Until he was alone. Until the powerful were powerless and he had something groveling at his feet to kick.
Like Garland. How he had dreamed of that moment! And yet…
His fingers curled tight into the fabric of his sleeves. ”Another twelve years I spent clawing my way from nothing on Gaia’s soil. I achieved with my mind what he had deemed it impossible that I achieve with my inherent strength. All the while, I walked a tightrope act to see him overthrown. When I finally arrived on Terra’s rocky surface for the first time since my exile, I intended to rule it in his place. Gaia was a doomed planet, and there was no force which could possibly save it from what had been set in motion. I intended to enact my revenge, secure my life, and take a seat of power in the place of my creation. I remember his expression now as he knelt there, weakened and at my mercy. And when finally he was dead and gone…”
Say it. There was no point in hiding anymore. He would have to say it.
”...His soul lingered. And I was informed that I had no chance of victory from the start. I was nothing but his disposable puppet. And so I sought to destroy everything he had built. If his soul insisted on resisting the cycle then I would force him to watch as Terra fell to ruin.”
Kuja paused. Perhaps this would provide some insight to his young successor. Perhaps not. She knew well what he had done. She knew better of what he was capable.
”I dislike our connection because it was used only by him. I denied my fate to die, I didn’t trust Garland’s plans to end me, and I destroyed Terra because I wanted him to feel a fraction of the pain he’d caused me. If I punish you, it is only because I hear you defending him.”
This was too much honesty. The truth was meant to be kept inside his own head or spoken only to echoes and ghosts. His tail lashed its discomfort, but still, he continued.
”You didn’t want to live. I wanted nothing more. Then, when it was revealed that there was no alternative, that no matter what I did, it had all been useless from the start…”
’I won’t have to be afraid anymore…’
”I chose to take oblivion on my own terms. He would not have power over me, not this time. And I would take everything with me.”
The silence of the cave felt overwhelming. He could hear the drip of distant rainwater, the muffled sound of thunder in the tropical storm. Kuja ran a hand through his hair, pausing with his palm pressed against his forehead.
”You must be tired,” he said. ”I can feel your exhaustion from here. You’re right. I don’t need your protection. It just seemed the best way to motivate you in learning to defend yourself.” He smirked faintly. Why stop his streak of honesty now? ”Return to the entrance. Sleep. I’ll explore this place on my own.”
On his own. Alone. As was so often the case. He would be more effective that way.
”I’ll report back in a few hours’ time and tell you if I found anything of use.”
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[attr=class,tagline]@blacksuit4
Turns out he just needed Mikoto to yell at him lol
[attr=class,bottomlyric] This is a gift. It comes with a price.
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We can end here if you like and summarize their findings later. Or we can continue their genome chat/search. I leave it up to you. Kuja
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[attr=class,bulk] ”How long has it been since you gained sentience?” he asked. ”Your soul has developed since we first met.” [break][break] This question made her pause and realize she had tunnel vision. The starry edges of her sight returned. She was unsure how to answer, so she did not. She felt that perhaps, once her soul was given a vessel, she had always been sentient, but had little point in expression. On Terra, there had been no need to. Garland did not care as long as she filled her role. Even her name held no special meaning other than an ease to designate her apart from the others. The other genome vessels were unresponsive except for vague phrases programmed into them to ensure self-maintenance prior to their use. They held no souls to express themselves. [break][break] It was not until she was forced upon Gaian’s surface that she felt the shift happening. Everything changed on its surface - time, water, chocobos, mages, people.. It just felt like a gradual process that seemed a necessity in order to evolve with other life on these living planets. [break][break] Just as she was getting used to it and she was pulled here. Kuja was more familiar - more home - to her than this planet. Even if she had been on living planets longer than Terra, she truly hadn’t had a stable environment for more than a year. She felt a strange pang, as if there was something in her chest that couldn’t be filled. Her predecessors enjoyed reaching out in their own way and interacting with the inhabitants. Mikoto had a harder time. She wanted to do nothing more than not engage - preferring to watch and learn instead. [break][break] She said nothing during his monologue. He gave her his truth. Some of it she theorized, but as he spoke, he confirmed her thoughts. [break][break] It was clear Kuja had much voice and expression in him. Even as he talked with the black smudging hate, Mikoto could tell his fear for survival. Unlike her, he was unwilling to relinquish his vessel. Would she get that way as she grows? Or would she always be willing to yield her vessel and be content as a soul wandering Headstone forest. [break][break] Quietly, she listened without judgment. Mikoto knew Garnet’s Gaian perspective had been wrong. Garnet made it sound as if Kuja wanted to cut ties from Terra. That he had come to destroy Terra itself intentionally. At the time, Mikoto knew that simply was not how genomes were built to function. Her eyes dropped to watch as the Hecteyes’s own optics glaze over. [break][break] The more he spoke, the more she understood Kuja was no different than her after all. He was pushed, much like her in this moment, to his emotional limit. Then, he blindly lashed out. The thought made her soften and relax. Her gaze unwaveringly watching him. She was understanding more and more. [break][break] When he dismissed her, she lingered still. There was silence as she tried to absorb his words and find the right words. There WAS still something to say, wasn’t there? Her own truth. Her teal eyes seemed to glow in the darkness as she lowered her staff harmlessly to her side. [break][break] “You punish me, not because I defend Garland…” Garland didn’t need her to defend him, as much as Kuja didn’t need her to. “No matter my actions, it reminds you of him. It’s the same for Garnet. She punishes me for reminding her of you.” Garnet wanted her to be like Zidane because she looked like him. In the end, Mikoto was too Terran to be Zidane. Garnet thus saw her as an antagonist. “I am neither you nor him. Yet, I cannot deny my inherent Terran heritage.” [break][break] She pressed a hand to her chest where her heart was. She felt it aching. She knew Kuja didn’t need her, but to hear him say it out loud… Even though she gave it no voice, he must have gotten it from one of her psionic impressions. Still, even if he didn’t need her… [break][break] “I…” She lost her words again, searching her soul for them. “I don't mean to misuse our connection. Or lose you.” It was all she had left of her legacy. A brother, a staff, and a Terran bond. It was all she had. “If Garland was here…” Her heart raced at the thought. She would have followed Garland to the bitter end. But now, after all the growing she did - after seeing her predecessors suffer under his hand and fight back. “I will protect you, even if you do not need it.” She would risk being shut down by Garland. [break][break] Even if it hurt to hear he didn’t need her protection, there was something softer in his words. He wanted her to protect herself, to rest, and be there to return to. This softened her heart. She shook her head. “I cannot rest…” Knowing that he wanted to restore his vessel to immortality, she needed to find this technology. She needed to make it work. He wasn’t alone.
[attr=class,bulk] Mikoto did not leave. It was annoying, how little she listened to him when it mattered. He could hear her breathing behind him, and he could hear her distinct lack of footsteps at his dismissal. Kuja scowled at the cave wall before finally turning just enough to glance over his shoulder at where she stood, watching him with her placid blue eyes.
Then she spoke. How annoying indeed.
She reminded him of Garland. How astute an observation. Kuja felt his tail lash at her unwanted insight. He felt his tongue sharpen, but he kept it in check. His nerves were frayed from his unexpected foray into honesty, and he wanted nothing more than the silence of solitude so that he could brood with his thoughts and perhaps speak them aloud in rhyme.
Was it not Mikoto who had forced the truth out of him? Perhaps she would deserve the punishment of his soured mood, but no. That would only prove her point, wouldn’t it? If he did more to punish her now? Instead, he merely turned to her, keeping his expression as cool as he could manage under the circumstances.
”You defend his ideas,” he retorted. ”I find it despicable.”
Then his eyes drifted up towards the roughly hewn ceiling, once clearly carved by intelligent hands and now weathered by the chisel of time. Had the princess really lashed out at Mikoto because of him? How vastly unfair. Mikoto was merely another of his victims though perhaps if she’d spoken the same words that made him bristle to her, she would have associated them quite wrongly with him.
Kuja’s fingers tapped impatiently along his sleeves, arms still crossed. ”Though I suppose…I could try to keep your point in mind.” And perhaps she would keep in mind that it was best to avoid reminding him of their creator, deliberately or otherwise.
He did not need their psionic connection to see how she hurt. It was strange to see such a thing reflected in a genome’s eyes. They were generally immune to such sensations as emotional distress, and yet he saw it stirring in her. How she had already matured in the short time he had known her…
Finally, she found her words. Kuja’s eyebrows raised in surprise.
’If Garland was here…’
She would protect him. She would think to stand between them even. Kuja opened his mouth to speak and then closed it when, for once, he could not find the words.
She would stand at his side. She would defend him.
Kuja felt a strange feeling creeping within his chest. It wasn’t entirely unpleasant, but he had no idea what to do with it and so he shoved it aside until he had the time to sift through his thoughts.
He longed for solitude.
”You seemed perfectly capable of resting when I found you,” he said, his lips twitching into a smirk. ”I might not need your protection from monsters, but I do value your mind. If I should find something of use within these depths, I would like your thoughts on its usefulness. You’ve shown an innate talent for all things mechanical and biological.” Of course she had. It was a trait they both shared, but her understanding of advanced concepts would be fresher than his. He hadn’t had access to Terra’s vast stores of knowledge in years. Instead, he had been obsessively combining that knowledge with the infinitely inferior technology of a half evolved planet.
As much as he was loath to admit it, she would perhaps be more useful in their particular intellectual goal than he could have managed alone.
”Your mind will be of little use, sleep-deprived and emotional. It also wouldn’t do much good if you wandered off again and were eaten by a monster.” He glanced at her, a hint of amusement in his eyes. ”Rest. I will clear the path and then, when I return, we can switch. I…” He hesitated on the words, not because he had never used them before but because he had never meant them before. Not with any amount of honesty at least.
”I…need you, Mikoto.” He hated how pained he sounded. It betrayed the truth of it all. ”I have no hope of repurposing this machinery without your aid, let alone running procedures on myself that might very well require my own lack of consciousness.”
As much as he hated to admit it, he could not do this alone. He would have to rely on her. It was enough to make his skin crawl.
”We have different talents. Mine is in destruction. Yours is in invention. You’ve shown great strides in your magic, enough that I believe you could defend yourself in most cases, but if we are to succeed in this endeavor then we must keep our focus.” Kuja waved a hand dismissively, uncrossing his arms.
”All of that is to say that you should return to the entrance as I asked. I’ll report in a few hours’ time.”
He didn’t like repeating himself, but that was what came of working with a being with a soul. She was asking questions now. She was refusing orders. He could simply force his will upon her, of course. It would be as simple as casting a sleeping spell and then telekinetically dragging her along back to that makeshift bed where he’d found her, but that was his last resort.
Mikoto was right in one aspect. She may have reminded him of Garland, but she was not him. Neither was Kuja. He would use force if necessary, but only if it was necessary. He far preferred the utility of persuasion to sheer demonstrations of power. It produced less resentment or temptations of betrayal.
”Do you understand?”
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[attr=class,tagline]@blacksuit4
Probably wrapping this up unless you want to do one more post to end it! He's getting so attached to her even if he won't admit it. He would murder so many people if they threatened her.
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I'm glad he logic-ed her. I knew he wanted to wrap up. Mikoto needs a little more help. Lol. Kuja
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[attr=class,bulk] It was clear he was irritated. It was a mood associated with him wanting to be left alone for a while to process something. Still, he had more to say. Her eyes studied him, searching. These quick black and white views bewildered her. She was built to defend Garland’s ideas, but she was finding it harder and harder to do. Especially, when they brought her predecessor so much pain. [break][break] But their master created them with a spark of an idea. That was an idea she should be thankful for. It allowed her to meet her predecessors and experience life. Despite all the bad memories of the past, she did not want to forget the hope the coming of her predecessors provided to her and the other genomes. Their coming was the best meeting that happened to her. [break][break] Still, such thoughts overwhelmed Kuja. It would be difficult for her, but she would try her best to avoid reminders of Garland. However, she still doubted not even mentioning their previous master would fully resolve the tension. This problem was something she too had to sit with and think on. [break][break] Her eyes widened and she felt her tail curl contentedly at hearing him say he needed her. Even if it was not to protect him, she did not mind being an assistant. It felt like a new rush of energy touched her and she was only eager to help. [break][break] However, with logical reasoning, he persuaded her to return. He was right. She was of no help in her current state. Plus, with the additional information to process, it would do best for her to return to soak it all in. [break][break] “I understand.” She relayed to him, this time less crestfallen. “I will be waiting for you.”
