Welcome to Adventu, your final fantasy rp haven. adventu focuses on both canon and original characters from different worlds and timelines that have all been pulled to the world of zephon: a familiar final fantasy-styled land where all adventurers will fight, explore, and make new personal connections.
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year 5, quarter 3
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[attr=class,bulk] Mikoto brought them to a small hill overlooking the sea, and on that hill was a public bench, currently unoccupied. Mikoto showed some familiarity with the area, and Kuja recognized immediately that this was where she’d meant to take them. It was fine as far as quiet, secretive spaces went. The view of the harbor certainly gave it an edge. From here, the inky black waters were nearly indistinguishable from the horizon. It all seemed to fade into one great canvas which spread from the beach to the sky, sparkling softly in the moonlight.
The waves rolled against the sand. Harbored boats clinked against the docks. Far away, a gull called mournfully through the night. Kuja closed his eyes and listened.
He heard the sounds of water. Of motion. A living planet.
Mikoto spoke to him of friendship. How trite.
”Do you want to make friends?” he asked without any real interest. Of course Zidane would suggest such a thing. Companionship came to him as easily as breathing, and he had a pathological inability to turn people away.
Perhaps Mikoto had taken after Zidane’s influence.
It didn’t really concern him either way.
Kuja didn’t look at her until she mentioned his misdeeds -- if only in passing. ’They didn’t even have a million in one chance in defeating you.’ Kuja watched her curiously, waiting for the rest. Her tail swished with a barely veiled apprehension.
”Yet he took his Gaians and proved me wrong,” she said. Kuja frowned.
”What?”
What did she mean they’d proven her wrong?
”They didn’t defeat me,” he said. ”I had the power of trance on my side. I obliterated their defenses and destroyed the crystal. Or...I thought I did. The crystal must have been more resilient than I’d thought.” If it really had been destroyed, he shouldn’t have woken up on Gaia again after falling through space and time. The whole planet should have imploded into nonexistence. He supposed he had lost in that way, but it hadn’t been at Zidane’s hand. He simply hadn’t been strong enough to achieve his goal.
”I sensed them still trapped within Memoria, and I used the last of my magic to teleport them back to Gaia. That was the end of it, I think.”
He didn’t remember anything else. Was that due to a deeper amnesia or…?
A cold breeze passed over Kuja’s bare stomach and he shivered, crossing his arms over his chest as though to protect himself. Mikoto hadn’t taken her place on the bench, and neither did he.
”Your bonds?” Kuja repeated. ”Did Zidane teach you that?”
He didn’t like how she spoke to him. It was almost a kind of lecture. She’d had enough life experience to give advice now, and she seemed confident that her single year’s experience had worth. She knew nothing.
”That might work well enough for you,” he said. ”But I have no interest in bonds. They’re...cumbersome.”
How was he to hurt, steal, and betray while tied down by some complicated feelings of attachment? What if the best course of action were barred to him by some carelessly chosen friendship? He wasn’t like the rest of the souls of this planet. He was…
Kuja laughed softly, touching at the aching bulge of his temple. It was all irrelevant, wasn’t it? Everything he’d ever known.
”You claim that we weren’t meant to be alone,” he said, lowering his hand again. ”Why then was I kept that way? You spent less than a year on that quiet planet of soulless dolls. I spent twelve. Eight alone and four with him. My oh so perfect replacement to which I was nothing but a prototype. Then I was banished. I’d proven to be too unexpected a variable, I think.”
The waves waxed and waned, a product of the moon’s gravitational pull. He wondered vaguely how the calculations would different when accounting for only a single moon rather than two. It didn’t matter.
”Perhaps I should take her hand,” Kuja said. He watched the slow, swaying of the boats in the harbor below. ”I never have before. I wouldn’t know how.”
Her eyes widened as she looked up at him. The question took a moment to sink in. Then another moment to process. Then, as the processing did not end quickly, her eyes narrowed as she looked down in the thought. The effort of the thought slightly scrunched her face. [break][break] Then, after the silence was filled with nothing but wind and crashing waves, “Not at first.” She admitted. What was the point in making friends? Her home world no longer existed. In fact, it was extinguished before her very eyes. She could feel the thinning life force as Garland faded out of existence. The crystals were on that same brink of calamity with Gaia about to follow suit. Her purpose in life was taken from her. Her people would never have a soul to bring them to life… [break][break] Why would she even consider making friends in the middle of death, despair, and destruction? When she had nothing? [break][break] Just like the eternal abyss that laid before her now that tumbled into itself and seemed to stretch on forever. [break][break] ...Except, it did not come to an end, did it? [break][break] “Terra no longer exists. Neither did the purpose bestowed me. The remnants of Gaia were all that was left. In order to adapt to the change, I made friends.” Her face settled into something more relaxed than before, as if the thought was perhaps warm. “I do like seeing new people.” Was all that the same as wanting to make friends? She was not sure. [break][break] Then, Kuja seemed to gain interest in what she said, even though his version of events lay different. Her hands balled into fists that she brought to her chest, much like a child excited they had been right. There were nearly stars in the deep pools of her eyes, even if her face had not really moved. Her tail swished interestedly behind her. [break][break] She knew it hadn’t been possible for them to beat him. Mere Gaians stood no chance. [break][break] Though, hadn’t the datalogs showed Garland favored Zidane because of his ability to trance? Something her and Kuja should not have been able to do. She wanted badly to ask him how he did it. Kuja was always seemingly able to do the impossible. She admired him even more greatly at this new revelation. [break][break] It seemed he realized the crystal had persisted. Gaia’s crystal had resisted all of Terra’s will from the very beginning. Garland knew a direct attack on it and Gaia would not work. That’s why for 5000 years, he chose to slowly siphon it’s souls. It must have resisted Kuja too, even in its weakened state. Perhaps, the crystal’s backlash was why she found him in such a state at the Iifa tree. [break][break] She had a lot of things she wanted to ask. Ending the world did not make her mad. She would have welcomed the ending with open arms. Then, perhaps she would find peace in oblivion. [break][break] “Why end all of existence? If that was your goal, why use the last of your magic to bring back Zidane and his Gaians?” [break][break] An honest question and she shook her head. “It was not the end. Zidane raced against the lashing limbs of Iifa for you.” She felt her tail slow to a still. Her eyes were blank as they thought of the past. “I could not reach you, but I tried to mind-talk with you.” She had not received a response. [break][break] She had never met him. Still, she didn’t want to lose him. She didn’t want him to be afraid. [break][break] There was a quiet moment as Kuja shivered. He asked her if Zidane had taught her about bonds. She quietly shook her head no. She had learned it on her own through her own experience. [break][break] Kuja laughed to himself at the thought of bonds and she gently turned to watch him. She quietly took in his new question. Why had he been kept alone? She could not say for sure Garland’s reasons. She gently pulled her hands away from her chest to look at her palms idly. “The Terrans created him and left him alone for 5000 years. Then, he created us without knowing bonds and offered hands.” She closed her eyes, searching for an answer. “If you and Zidane were meant to be alone, then why was I created?” Her primary purpose was to watch over her peers and guide the lost. Something she told Kuja at the very first meeting. [break][break] She knew there was a heaviness in Bran Bal. Being the first created was difficult. At least Mikoto had the small gift of hope knowing that one of her predecessors would return to meet with her. That she was here talking with one right now. [break][break] “It’s not true.” She said softly, her tail swished at trying to put this next part into words. “Garland was wrong. You are not just a prototype. You are Kuja. You do not have to be alone anymore.” [break][break] Her eyes widened once more as he confessed he did not know how to take a hand. [break][break] “I have not seen that stop you.” Kuja took his first step on Gaia and within a mere few years he had it warring and nearly prepared for Terra’s assimilation. He did not know how to make black mages using Gaian technology, but that also did not stop him from doing it. He most certainly did not know how to trance at the beginning, but he figured it out… [break][break] Her tail swished excitedly behind her. She was happy to finally get to show him something. “The person offering a hand does not care if you have done it or not.” Mikoto has done it many times now. “They get upset when you stare at it. Place your palm against their’s.” She tried to simulate on her own by gripping her own hands in front of her. First, in a prayer way. Then in a clasp. Then gripping the back of her fingers. It became too confusing to figure out on her own. [break][break] Giving up, she held out her hand to him for him to try. She looked up at him earnestly. “Then, after the grasping of hands...One shares food...” She eyed the bag of sweets she brought him. “...and share stories…” Then she was straining at what happened next.
[attr=class,bulk] ”Why end all of existence? If that was your goal, why use the last of your magic to bring back Zidane and his Gaians?”
Kuja froze. It was a reasonable question -- the kind of question that he’d practically set himself up for -- and he hated it. He hated that it was so unerringly reasonable. He hated that he didn’t have an answer.
”I couldn’t tell you,” he said instead. ”This planet has clouded my memory of the events.”
It wasn’t a lie. Like so many others, he’d found his head filled with fog upon awakening from his unwilling interdimensional travel. He had theories as to why, of course, but none that extended farther than an educated guess. He’d forgotten exactly those things which he hadn’t truly wished to remember, and though it had all come back in time, it still lacked the clarity of detail. That was why he couldn’t answer Mikoto.
That and no other reason.
”I know Zidane came,” he said. ”He was an idiot. Giving up everything for the sake of…” He gestured vaguely towards the air. ”It made no sense. I was his enemy, after all.”
Yet he’d come all the same with that stupid smile and positive attitude. Some would have called it a selfless act, yet even matters of morality couldn’t extend that far. It was dangerous. It was contradictory. It was…
Not entirely unlike Hilda now that he thought about it. His tail twitched at the comparison.
He didn’t know what to expect when he told her about his experiences on Terra. It wasn’t a usual topic of conversation, and in his exhausted state, he wasn’t thinking clearly. He shouldn’t have said anything, he realized, the moment that Mikoto began to respond. There was no good outcome to any of this. Either she’d defend the late master of Terra or…
”It’s not true. Garland was wrong. You are not just a prototype. You are Kuja. You do not have to be alone anymore.”
And what, exactly, was he supposed to say to that?
He considered pointing out that in a technical sense, he was quite literally built as a prototype for a more perfect model to follow, but ultimately decided that it was best to let the entire subject drown in its own silence to be quickly forgotten by all. Mikoto had quickly taken to a new topic entirely, and Kuja chose to engage with it instead. As stupid as said topic might have been.
He watched the entire charade with a single raised eyebrow. It was like something in a play. The comedic relief, as foolish as she is confident, steps forward beaming with pride over something wrongfully learned and hardly understood. Kuja had never much liked such characters. They were farcical by nature, and he far preferred wit over the bumbling of idiots.
That was to say that he was hardly impressed by his successor’s routine. Particularly when she couldn’t figure out how to properly grasp her own hands together. She was like a jester who didn’t understand her own jokes.
”I know how handshakes work,” he said flatly. ”I was speaking figuratively.”
Did she know the difference between literal and figurative language? If she did, she seemed to have trouble grasping it in practice.
Kuja sighed then, because he still preferred this topic of conversation over the last, he finally sat down on the seaside bench. It wasn’t comfortable, exactly, but he could tell that she’d expected it from him after she’d brought them both here. He sat perched at the edge, awkwardly balancing the bulk of his armor and the unwieldy positioning of his hidden tail. He gestured for her to join him.
He didn’t know what to say as they sat there together. He didn’t know, really, what she’d intended. The silence wasn’t terrible. It wasn’t particularly exciting either.
”Where did you get this?” he asked, glancing down at the paper bag that was still clutched half-forgotten in his hand. He opened it without interest, noting the strangely colored cakes molded into the shape of bats and cats and other such animals. Mikoto had an eye for food made to look like other things, he’d noticed. Perhaps it was a budding artistic interest. Perhaps she simply found them cute.
”I hope they weren’t expensive.” Not when it was his gil she’d be spending.
[attr=class,ooc-notes]
[attr=class,tagline]@blacksuit4
In which Kuja avoids every topic that he himself brought up
[attr=class,bottomlyric] AND WE ARE BUILT TO WATCH OVER [break] EACH OTHER AND WORK TOGETHER...
[attr=class,avvie]
[attr=class,img]
[attr=class,chasinghover]
[attr=class,notes]
[attr=class,punkichasingabstract]
She still doesn't believe Yuffie's take on souls at all. Preposterous. Oblivious. Kuja
[attr=class,paccent]
[attr=class,bulk] Her line of view shifted from the ocean to Kuja with a small shift of her head. So he could not remember his reasoning. Or much of the events. Then how did he know for sure he would have been happy to see them all obliterated as he claims? Based on his actions at bringing back Zidane, it seemed part of Kuja’s conscience did not really want that, even if his words suggested otherwise. [break][break] Ah. It was too confusing to try to guess. She really didn’t understand feelings at all. Not when she was just on the cusp of them. [break][break] Silently, she shifted her gaze to look back at the water. She simply took in his words. It was the best she could do for now. There she felt a warmth in her chest that Kuja was talking to her about any of this. Their first day if she breathed anything of the past he shouted at things that weren’t there. Or violently ceased their connections. She did not understand what was different now, but now he simply ended the conversation. It felt like some progress. Mikoto loved progress. [break][break] And maybe one day she would finally ask the questions that caused her to ache. Perhaps then he would have an answer. But tonight was not about her and her questions. She wanted to make sure Kuja was okay. [break][break] She could not vouch for Zidane’s actions. He adapted to Gaian ways that she had yet to understand. So she remained silent on the matter. Could she even explain why she came to help excavate them from the entangled roots? A small calling stirred in her soul. A small need to see them again. [break][break] She shook her head at seemingly nothing when she could not explain or elaborate. Then, the words were soft. “Reasons…what happened after…doesn’t matter.” Disjointed as she tried to reach a little deeper. Kuja had been one of the few that could challenge her to do so. “I am happy here.” Here with him now. Why did the rest matter? When in this moment she could enjoy the sights and sounds of a living planet with him. [break][break] It had been her only wish while on Terra… To see a living planet with other genomes with souls. [break][break] She had expected Terra to be the living planet at the time. But this would do just as well. [break][break] He watched her with the same enthusiasm as he had when she first showed him her pathetic magic. It must have been an unimpressive display. She stared at her hands with that same unimpressed look when he once more did not take one. [break][break] Figurative? She felt a little prickle build in her. Why were conversations so difficult? Why could others not say what they mean at the start? [break][break] Perhaps, he was still talking about bonds but in the form of a handshake? [break][break] Her eyes shifted as he made a gesture for her to sit. She hesitated for a moment, staring at the spot. However, she didn’t want to displease her predecessor. She took a seat on the hard bench and found that she did not hurt as much as she did the other day. Though if she sat still enough the pain in her hip faded. [break][break] She let the quiet build between them. Silence never bothered her and she was comfortable settling in it. It seemed her predecessor was restless tonight. Was he still thinking about the letter and this Gaian woman? What could she do to make him at peace? Did he just want the other female here? [break][break] She first answered his question on where she got the treats. “Human ‘trick or treat’. You shout ‘Trick or Treat’ at them and they give free resources.” Probably to appease the receiver into not tricking them. “If the treat brings displeasure, then you trick them.” How humans came up with this was beyond Mikoto. But she understood enough to get the items she desired. She looked at the bag he held. “If they displease you, I will trick them.” [break][break] That was the way the event was supposed to go, wasn’t it? [break][break] "They also think souls are scary and eat each other." Her tone indicated she didn't believe that anomaly at all. Oblivious. That was the word. "They are oblivious to the process." Honestly, how did they survive this long? Tricking and treating each other with false beliefs. [break][break] Her tail swayed to her lap and she picked at the ribbon on it. There was silence again. She lapsed into her tender caring of getting him to rest and peace of mind. Then, a small idea came. “Should I retrieve Hilda?” She asked softly. And just bring her here? She didn't know where but Mikoto had ideas on how to find her. “Does the response have to be letter form?” If the words were not coming, and it was exacerbated by his lack of rest, then maybe there was another way? He could share the treats with the Gaian female and sit in silence with her instead. [break][break] Why could Gaians not sense like Terrans could? It would make this much easier. If they could, then HILDA would be pestered enough to take action on her own.
[attr=class,bulk] Oh. It was from some strange local custom then. Kuja raised his eyebrow at her explanation and wondered if it was truly as absurd as she made it sound. It sounded like something meant for children. Which she was, he supposed. In her own way.
”They think souls eat each other?” He let out a short, derisive laugh. ”Their superstitions are endlessly amusing. I should tell you sometime how the Gaians conceived of the portal to Terra.”
Not now. That felt like a pointless thing to reminisce over when he’d already wasted enough time as it was. Still, he wondered if she’d find it as amusing as he did to hear the spiritual significance they’d assigned to something so malicious and yet so mundane. He remembered hearing it for himself the first time at Esto Gaza. He hadn’t been able to stifle his laughter.
Kuja looked down at the bag of sweets with a newfound amusement. He considered telling Mikoto that they very much displeased him just to see what her idea of a “trick” was. It would be either something entirely benign or something so destructive that it flew past the face of mischief and got someone killed. But which would he say displeasured him so? The black cauldron cake? The bag of assorted jelly beans? Or perhaps the cookie that looked suspiciously like a gimme cat…
Unfortunately, Mikoto spoke before he could fully form his scheme. She had thoughts of her own, and they all led back to Hilda.
He blinked at her slowly. ”You mean kidnapping?” What else could she have meant by ‘retrieval?’ ”You have no idea where she is. Or what she looks like.”
But he did. She’d left him a little bird to lead the way. All he’d need to do is activate its magic and let it fly.
Should he kidnap her? Did he want to?
What would she say?
”Hm. I suppose she’d conclude that I hadn’t changed. She’d be disappointed, but not surprised. Then I’d have to explain why. She has no titles here and no rich husbands to ransom her off to. She’d know it was for personal reasons.”
And that wouldn’t do. He contemplated simply killing her before he once again struck it down.
”In her letter, she wondered what I’d make of myself if I’d survived the Iifa Tree. What I’d do with my freedom. Would I destroy as is in my nature or…?”
He crossed his arms and tapped his finger on his sleeve. ’Would you pursue art, beauty, or whatever else your heart may desire?’ Those had been her exact words. But what did his heart desire? Vengeance. Validation. His own self-preservation. These were concepts which meant nothing now in this strange set of circumstances beyond his comprehension. He had been resurrected or perhaps saved from the brink of death only to be thrown to another planet untouched by his misdeeds. Why?
And what was he to do now?
”I wonder,” he said slowly. ”How much time I have left.”
It wasn’t a topic he wished to discuss with Mikoto. It wasn’t something he wished to discuss with anyone at all, really, but some part of him wondered if she knew more than she was letting on. It wasn’t like Garland to discuss his plans with the souls he guided like puppets, but perhaps she had overheard something or stumbled across some file or another in the databanks of Pandemonium.
Did she know his fate? Did he want to know?
Maybe he didn’t, but it was too late now.
”Did he ever speak of me? Or mention my work in his files?” Garland had always been dismissive of them. Even if he hadn’t shared his plans with a lowly genome, his apathy might have let something slip. He’d never expected them to speak with each other, after all. ”Perhaps I could make sense of it.”
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[attr=class,tagline]@blacksuit4
Kuja's moody and tired and keeps twisting his trail of thought lol
[attr=class,bulk] Mikoto felt something odd when Kuja related to her finding Zephon’s soul concepts absurd. Something light and fluffy in her chest. Perhaps a kinship. She watched Kuja for a moment hoping he would begin his story on how Gaians perceived the portal to Terra. How they remained so ignorant of Terra when all the signs were in plain sight were beyond her. They must not have been developed for their intelligence. [break][break] But, alas, he was not in the mood to share the story. Instead, he looked at the bag of treats with a renewed interest. It made her feel like she accomplished a little bit in helping him feel better tonight. [break][break] Though it was followed up by an incredulous look. Followed by another turn down of the idea. She had an idea of how to find Hilda. Kuja had told her the relation to Garnet and the bird. It was only a question of how to get her to Kuja. She would have first taken the easiest option…to ask her to come. And if Hilda refused…then of course kidnapping. This was an urgent matter after all. [break][break] A soft frown touched her lips as she was once more confused. “Is it bad if she learns it’s for personal reasons?” She shook her head, still not sure. “Maybe wandering can lead to another crossing of paths?” That was how he said he met this Gaian again on Zephon. And if it was a chance meeting, then Hilda would not know it was for personal reasons. [break][break] Maybe the young genome needed some time to think more into this issue. There were many rules to this situation that were beyond her. [break][break] He pondered what he would do with his freedom. Or rather, this Hilda’s word spurred him into thinking upon it. “You became my teacher,” she offered. He did that in his freedom and spare time. It didn’t feel like the right answer. Not one that he was looking for. [break][break] Her own heart grew heavy. These were concepts she struggled with too. On Terra, her pursuits were quite clear. Here… She contented herself with keeping busy with something. She mostly was learning about life on this planet and tending to her ghost village in Headstone Forest. Was that enough? [break][break] Then, her heart finally sunk into her stomach upon his next words in regards to how much time he had left. Her whole body stiffened for a moment and she felt her jaw set. She stopped fussing with the ribbon on her tail. Her fingers felt numb. She had no reason to hide answers from him. Not that she knew all the answers. But, she knew enough. [break][break] “What would you do if you did know?” Would it change something? [break][break] She started softly, trying to collect her thoughts in her turmoiled mind. [break][break] “Garland…” [break][break] How many ticks did he have left? [break][break] “..spoke only of our roles. You were too good a resource to waste. But your willpower made you a terrible vessel for the people of Terra.” It would be difficult to shunt a soul that wanted to keep hold of his life and individuality. “He could not control your individuality. It threatened him. So, he put physical limiters on you.” Garland could use Kuja’s abilities to their fullest, while knowing there were failsafes in place. As he could all genomes. He was the total controller of Terra. [break][break] “The Gaians avoided the mist. You were sent to get them to kill each other again. He seemed satisfied with your work, though he had suspicions.” Suspicions he never shared with Mikoto. She probably would not have understood at the time anyway. In fact, she still wouldn’t understand. [break][break] She fell into silence, she was too still. Nearly a statue. She found the words were too difficult to leave her. “While you and Zidane worked, I was created. Primarily, I was to tend Bran Bal and guide Zidane. However…” Her tail flicked with annoyance as she finally let it go. “I was also built as a replacement for either of you. If Zidane could not be persuaded to return, then I was to replace him. Otherwise, I was to replace you once your limit had been reached. That limit was the exact time when Zidane came of age with his power.” Trance. Something she could not do. [break][break] She shook her head. She was only months old when it all happened, thus she lacked much deep knowledge on Garland. “I don’t know what potential I hold to compare to either of you.” What did Garland expect from her if both predecessors were lost? She did not have Trance. She did not have the power Kuja held. So, what was intended for her in the end? She would never find out now. [break][break] Then, all the pent up heaviness seemed to spark in her. She exploded in a burst of emotion. Her tail fluffed and heavily thudded. Her fist curled and she turned away from him as if it was too much to bear. Small bits of uncontrolled magic seemed to wisp off her. Part of the bench iced over. Static danced about her in a brief aura. [break][break] Saying it out loud made it feel too real. Made it feel like the threat was too close. [break][break] “I won’t let it happen!” She said suddenly. Her eyes suddenly tearing up. “I am looking into a solution.” She felt a lump in her throat and she swallowed. “But human technology is crude and slow.” And frustrating. And painful. But she didn’t have a choice now, did she?
[attr=class,bulk] For a long time, Mikoto said nothing. Kuja felt the mood shift. He didn’t need his genome senses to see how her dread consumed her, but he could have, if he wished, felt it with his eyes closed. She was frightened in a way that he knew too well and yet couldn’t quite understand. It was his death they spoke of – not hers. Yet she spoke as though their fortunes were reversed.
When finally she spoke, it was with a question rather than an answer. ”What would you do if you did know?”
There was that fear again, creeping reluctantly into her usual monotone. Oh dear. Did she fear what vengeance he might enact? Kuja’s eyes lifted to the sky, and he said nothing for he had no answer to give. What would he do? That depended on the information he received, didn’t it? And on the ever shifting tides of his mood.
There was silence between them. Mikoto was the one to break it.
Kuja listened. He tried his best to shut down his heart and all the fear and dread which stirred there, sparking his panic and clouding his judgment. This was a matter of too great importance to leave to impulse. He would lead with his rational mind. His scientific mind. He must first process the information then analyze it against its surrounding context and finally reach his conclusions.
Process. Analyze. Conclude.
What were the raw facts?
Garland had spoken to Mikoto far more than expected. She knew him by that reputation – willful and defiant yet too efficient to terminate outright. It was exactly the position in which he had hoped to place himself so that he could buy the time he needed to maneuver out from under Garland’s thumb. Yet Garland knew that he could not be controlled. So he had…
The words slipped away like raindrops in a fog. ’Physical limiters.’
Process. He needed to keep listening.
She spoke of his work and of Garland’s suspicions. She told him of her creation and the meaning of her existence. There was some small, insignificant part of him that felt a strange satisfaction at Zidane’s apparent expendability. That was something that they shared in essence if not in scale. Not that Zidane would have cared. He was Gaian at heart, after all.
Mikoto would replace him when his limit was met. That limit was the exact time when Zidane came of age with his power. What did that mean? Could it be…?
Kuja forced himself to breathe. Every moment was a struggle against the two raging beasts – fear and dread – which fought for control beneath the surface. Fear longed for the slick touch of blood beneath his nails. Dread opined that they should burrow away in some dark, safe place where the world could move without them. And there was his rational mind, caught between the two and wrangling them like they were feral dogs on leashes made of ash.
But it wasn’t his panic which broke the surface. It was, to his eternal surprise, Mikoto’s.
Perhaps they were affecting each other – his wilder emotions setting fire to hers and vice versa. He felt her magic lash out, uncontrolled and untamed, and he felt himself wince as his own threatened to do the same. The stone bench beneath them crept with slick ice. Electricity crackled about them in short bursts of light. Mikoto raised her voice, her throat thick with tears.
”I won’t let it happen!” she shouted. ”I am looking into a solution. But human technology is crude and slow.”
Strange. Wasn’t he supposed to be the emotional one?
He waved his hand as though swatting a fly. ”Quiet,” he said. ”I’m trying to think.”
And he couldn’t think if his mind spiraled wildly into questions about her. What had she tried? Why did she care? All of it was nothing but a distraction welling like the untamed sea of her magic threatening to spill over. It was hard enough to focus through the distractions of his own heart, let alone hers.
”I’ve had my theories,” he said slowly. ”At a base level, there are two possibilities. In the first, I was meant from my conception to be discarded. I was a prototype only, and he coded an expiration into my very construction. This was the more problematic of the two as it would mean that this body is itself flawed and its fate could not be corrected short of finding a new vessel.
”In the second possibility, he made me with a genome’s usual immortality and then at some later date decided to install a failsafe in reaction to my nature. This was the less dire of the two. What has been given could, theoretically, be removed.”
He paused. It felt good to speak through his thoughts. They came easier now through the maze of his conflicting emotions. He would speak. Mikoto would listen.
”You said that he added ‘limiters’ only after I threatened him with my individuality. That confirms it to be the second. If I had to guess, it would be a direct consequence of stranding Zidane on Gaia.” That would have been his final opportunity at least. After that, Kuja had lived his own life in exile and disgrace. Such a punishment indeed.
”When I was informed of my limitations, I was told only that I would die ’soon.’” He scowled. ”’Soon.’ Such a maddeningly vague descriptor. What could it mean to the mind of an immortal soul thousands of years old? It could have been anything. Though it is far more precise to guess when he would have considered Zidane of age. Was it a specific date? Or did he somehow link our souls so that one would respond to the other?”
That would explain why Kuja hadn’t expired yet. Could he go on forever if Zidane never appeared in their strange new reality? But such an explanation seemed more complicated than was likely the case. A date was far simpler and easier to install in a being already living and sentient. Kuja tilted his head and pressed his thumb to his lips thoughtfully.
”I need to know what he did to me,” he muttered. ”There must be some tests that would reflect the change. My biology is different than most, but if we used you as a control…”
His thoughts were whirring along one after the other. Here was a problem that could be solved. And he was a master schemer.
”Would you mind?” he asked. ”There might be some scans that are difficult to run on myself given the present magitechnological landscape.”
[attr=class,bottomlyric] AND WE ARE BUILT TO WATCH OVER [break] EACH OTHER AND WORK TOGETHER...
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Yup. She's being unreasonable. Kuja's right and so awesome. Kuja
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[attr=class,bulk] He said nothing during her whole recital of the past and of what their master did to them. When she was done, outbursts and all, he simply told her to quiet. Her body trembled with the emotions she was unsure how to deal with. It bit at her like a relentless Fang. She kept her back to Kuja, fists balled in her lap. She had seen what death looks like before. The little graves that weren’t meant for the dead, but for the living to remember. To make others not afraid of death because they would live on in their memories. [break][break] But they would never function again. What was the point? [break][break] And she didn’t want to lose Kuja again. His presence here defied the natural cycle of mortals. [break][break] How was she supposed to be his guardian if she could not protect him against such a silent enemy? [break][break] Quiet. [break][break] The simple word seemed to have a calming effect. All the tension in her shoulders evaporated and her magic fizzled out. Her jaw remained set. Was she being unreasonable? She must be. He was right. When he was allowed to think, sometimes the impossible became possible. It was something only he could do. [break][break] She let the silence settle as she listened to the tides break against the cliffside. It seemed darker for some reason. His words came but it was almost like she was hearing it as if she was sinking in the sea - her ears plugged up with water and the voice sounded distant. She tried to shake her senses again. She would rather be in a slightly irritated state than this. [break][break] In the end, it seemed he reached the same conclusion as she did with Hojo. Mikoto had to be the control specimen. Though she refused to let Hojo poke and prod Kuja like he did her, hee could still compare her to the other mortals. Let them be the test subjects instead. But, it would be much more accurate for him to be part of the process. And she would be much more comfortable if this was between her and Kuja. Hojo made her feel…unsettled and irritated? Something like that. [break][break] She said not a word as he reached his own conclusions. She turned back to him, wide and eager eyed, as he asked for her assistance. “When do we start?” She replied simply to his question. She could take the notes from Hojo’s office. [break][break] Then she hesitated, before she thought of a third possibility. “What if it already came to pass…?” He already died once, didn’t he? She had to bear it then. Could she handle it a second time? Maybe she would not have to. “...And you are no longer under its effect once coming here?” [break][break] A small hope touched her with this new thought and his own words. [break][break] What if Zidane’s coming of age already passed upon his return to Terra? What if the trigger already occurred at the Iifa tree?
[attr=class,bulk] She calmed as he spoke. Good. That meant he didn’t have to deal with her emotions – whatever they might be. He could still feel them burrowed deep within her psyche, but they were repressed for now which meant he could look away and focus on himself. He didn’t know what he would have said to her if his hand had been forced.
’So sorry that my impending death is an inconvenience for you. Such a toll it must have taken! I could hardly imagine.’
No. Best to sit quietly on the matter and keep to the matter at hand. When were they to start?
”As soon as possible, I suppose.” He’d thought too long and too hard tonight. He’d felt more than he should have as well. He’d heard that confiding in someone was meant to feel as though a weight was lifted off of one’s shoulders, but he felt quite the opposite in fact. His anxiety had stretched him to his breaking points. With the pressure lessened, he felt tired. Deflated, really. There was nothing to fill the hollow space his panic had left behind.
”What if it has already come to pass?” Mikoto went on. ”And you are no longer under its effect once coming here?”
”A nice thought. Though hardly practical.” He leaned his cheek against the back of his hand, eyes half closed. ”The possibility has occurred to me, but it necessitates the existence of some extrasensory force with a willful cognition. It is certainly possible that I’ve been revived free of any such conditions, but why should my body not be recreated in full, limitations included? One would have to assume that the force actively chose to free me of it, and at that point there are so many assumptions layered upon assumptions that the entire premise becomes nothing more than delusion. If such a thing had come to pass then we should proceed as though it hadn’t. There would be no way of knowing either way.”
How long had it been since he’d last slept? Three days? That felt about right.
He yawned. ”This has all been exciting enough, but I think I’ve exhausted my thoughts for now. It is rather late, isn’t it?” Nearing four in the morning if his calculations of the moon’s positioning were accurate. Not far from dawn. ”I might return. You’re free to do as you wish.”
He stood. There was something about the air between them that didn’t feel right. As though something had been left unsaid.
He paused, considering that strange space, before he added, ”This has been helpful. Certainly more so than if I’d stayed locked in my room. I suppose I should thank you.”
He lifted the bag of miscellaneous treats she’d collected. They were a kind gesture if nothing else. ”I’ll let you know if any of these ’displease me.’” His lips flickered with the shadow of a smirk. ”I think I’d like to see how you’d trick them. They have such strange customs, don’t they?”
His eyes drifted to the silver light of the moon. ”Are you coming along?”
[attr=class,bulk] He sounded tired. More so than when he first left his room tonight. That turmoil that had been there the last three days seemed to have eased. At least there was a shift after letting him talk. It put her a little more at ease. She could see now that he was okay and most of her worst fears were laid to rest. And now that there was a plan of action, it seemed to ease a little of her own feelings. It felt good to be doing something. To work on the problem instead of worrying about it. [break][break] He dismissed her small bit of hope. She shook her head. She would not let it go so easily. “Aren’t all of these possibilities assumptions?” She asked gently. She looked down at the ground at her swinging feat. Neither of them knew for sure what Garland had done to him. It was all conjecture until they ran more detailed tests. There were tons of possibilities, though she was not here to argue with him. It would prove fruitless to do so and she lacked the energy. [break][break] Her brow furrowed. Why had his force brought them her? Or was there some mysterious law of quantum physics they weren’t quite aware that caused them to be here? [break][break] She breathed into her feelings again. Why was she even here? Alive. Without a mission. What was this feeling that accompanied it? Relief? [break][break] Excused himself, standing to leave. Mikoto simply watched him. She was free to do what she wished. Without Terra and Garland…Kuja gave her much freedom and hope. What did she want to do? Return with him? Go back to the lab and take the notes? Seek out this Hilda and tell her not to write ill-affecting letters anymore. Her tail swayed thoughtfully. [break][break] He turned back to her as she stood. Did he have something else to say? [break][break] Then, she felt her cheeks burn for a moment as he said she had been helpful. Or at least, their current situation was. Her wide eyes looked down again as she twisted her hands before her. [break][break] She liked being helpful. [break][break] “They are strange customs, but they are interesting to observe.” At least once in a while. “Maybe I can learn from them.” Maybe. They had lived longer than her, hadn’t they? And there was only one planet that she must learn to be part of to survive. If humans could stay alive until their short life-span expired, no matter how stupid they were, then there must be something to gain from watching them. [break][break] She followed his gaze to the moon. She supposed she would go back with him for now. The conclusion of the last three days left her exhausted too. Though tonight started very agitated, it felt very serene now. “Yes. Let’s return home.”
