“It is plausible, Celes, that we were… “

Whatever Terra had been about to say never came to fruition. Celes lowered her hand to glance at Terra through the darkness. She sat with her cape wrapped beneath her, eyes slightly downcast. Something had drained from her face. 'Hope,' Celes wanted to say. She had seen that look far too often lately. Empty faces and lowered eyes. Words that held no meaning. This was the world that Celes remembered, and seeing that expression again stirred something inside of her. It wasn't a happy something nor was it particularly pained. It was merely there, an emotion which she could not identify. 

Sadness, maybe. Mixed with the relief of consistency.

Terra pulled her leg to her chest and wrapped her arms around it. Her chin sat on her knee as though she could no longer support its weight alone. The fire reflected in dancing bursts behind her eyes. “I do not know, Celes. And yes, you are right this is all insane. Absolutely, mindbogglingly insane." At least she'd admitted it, but somehow hearing it out-loud didn't make Celes feel any better. "We have seen what magic is truly capable of, have we not? That damn clown destroyed an entire world with but one spell which he used over and over. What if thespell that pulled us here only keeps us here in this paradise for a short time? What if this is all but an illusion in our heads and we are laying out on the plains or forest exposed to the elements of our dying world…”

Celes glanced away. The thought certainly hadn't escaped Celes, though she'd assumed the insanity had been hers and hers alone. But now there was a new theory -- a more coherent theory. Did Kefka have the power to alter their perceptions? Could he have struck them down with some kind of hallucinatory spell? Celes wouldn't doubt it. She hadn't seen the complete destruction of the world -- she'd lost consciousness after falling from the deck of the Blackjack. She's always assumed it was merely the irregularities in the Goddess statues which had caused everything. Somehow, knowing that all of it had been Kefka made her feel slightly sick.

Talking to Terra had, miraculously, ruined her mood even further. Celes laughed quietly -- a shaky, uncertain laugh that might have been a sob. Her hand was shaking.

"Do you think?" she said. "That certainly does sound like something he'd do. I bet he'd laugh..." But no, that was all she could say. The thought of that laugh -- that hideous, horrific bellowing -- was enough to send her stomach rolling. The sound of it had haunted her nightmares for over a year. She bit her tongue to hold back bile.

“Celes, I am afraid that this is some type of punishment for us… For being some of the only to stand up against Kefka… To try and embrace the hope that we held however small that we could win…”

"Well, if it's him that did it, then yes. I'd imagine he'd want to make an example..." Speaking had not been the right choice. Celes placed a hand over her mouth and slammed her eyes closed. Her head felt cold. Her fingers were shaking.

In that moment, she imagined them lost and unconscious, perhaps mounted on some kind of monument to Kefka's glory, and the thought of it sent her reeling. Suddenly, Celes was no longer sitting in the forest with Terra, listening to the fire and the sound of insects. Suddenly, she was hurling down again. Down, down, so far as the world cracked around her and heaved with fire. Oh god, the smell of fire. It crackled with smoke and burning flesh. She screamed as gravity fell beneath her and the planet cracked in two. Screaming. She was still screaming.

The fire burned her nose as she fell back, elbow scraping across brittle leaves and dry grasses. It curdled in her stomach with acidic heat and she wanted to end it. Her throat came back dry. Her forehead beaded with sweat.

It had happened again. Celes was not falling, but she couldn't get the memory out of her mind. Every time that she thought she'd forgotten, it would come barreling back with the smell of fire or the spiraling sickness of vertigo. Now she was here, in the middle of some forest in a nowhere world that might have been nothing but an illusion. She pushed back sweat-ridden strands of hair and tried to right herself. Her heart was racing.

"I'm fine," she said before Terra could ask. "Fine, I just..." Her throat was too dry for words. She swallowed hard and steadied herself against her palms. "It's nothing."

OOC: ((Celes accidentally beat Terra to the breakdown thing. Oops. PTSD for the win.))

This feeling was nothing new to Celes. The panic, the confusion, the pain. She'd felt it all before and for lesser reasons. After that ill-fated day, Celes had never been the same. The whole world had never been the same, and it was expected that none of its people were to handle it without trauma. Still, Celes always hated this part the most -- the sympathy. She hated seeing the sad gleam of another's eyes. She hated the pity. If it was up to her, then everyone would just look away whenever she succumbed to the panic that lurked inside of her. Celes had always extended that courtesy to others when they needed it, but it seemed that Terra did not share her opinions. 

"Celes, you do not seem fine." Terra offered her a hand, but Celes refused to take it. She looked away, scowling slightly, as she willed her heart to slow. Just a little calmer and it wouldn't hurt her chest so terribly. Then perhaps she could stop the cold sweat, the shaking, everything which had afflicted her. "And it is not nothing. What happened and why did you fall like that? I-I want to help if I can.” Celes laughed again. It came weak and shaking, but carried every bit the mockery she'd hoped it would. 

"What happened?" she repeated. "Do I really have to explain?"

Celes pushed herself up from the ground and stood there, swaying unsteadily on her heels. The forest spun with a dangerous sense of unbalance. She closed her eyes and took a long breath to steady herself. Then she turned her back on Terra and walked away towards the nearest tree. She leaned against it for support and hoped that her weakness wasn't too obvious.

"I just remembered. That's all," she said stiffly, but even that was difficult. Celes didn't want to address it, so why did Terra have to watch her so closely even now? Everything would be so much better if she could just forget. She wished she could forget. 

"Forget it. I was weak." Celes flipped strands of sweat-drenched hair. That bath in Provo felt so long ago. Perhaps it was time to find a city once again. Maybe she was ready for it now. Maybe. 

"I'm leaving soon," Celes said, "I've had enough of this forest." When she glanced at Terra, her eyes were cool and sharp. "Are you coming or not?" She didn't mean it as a suggestion, and she hoped that her intentions came across. Whether Celes traveled alone or with Terra didn't matter to her now. She didn't have time for the girl's mothering, and if that's what she wanted to offer, then Celes would pass in an instant. 

Celes had never liked playing the damsel. 

Was Celes being harsh? Certainly. Unreasonable? Possibly. But Celes Chere was not known for her kind, emotional spirit, nor was she the kind to wallow in shared feelings of sympathy. No, while Celes had indulged herself during the most extreme of circumstances, this was not one of them. Celes waited for Terra once the girl made it clear that they would not be separated. She held her tongue for any biting comments that lurked in her throat like snakes. But Celes did not share her feelings on the matter, one way or the other.

Celes knew that she was being defensive, but there was no alternative. Her mood was not Terra's fault, but unless Celes wished to simply break from the sheer weight of it all, then this was as much friendly sentiment as she could allow herself. At least for now.

“Let's get going then. Do you know the name of the next town? I have really not strayed too far from all these woodlands .”

"The next tone is Provo," Celes said stiffly, "But I wouldn't recommend it." At least, not after her last experiences. Celes had no doubt in her mind that the people there still remembered her after the 'police' fiasco less than a month prior. While Terra would certainly help in a fight, Celes had no interest in slaughtering any more innocent guards. And she doubted that she would wander across another 'whore with a heart of gold' type to help her. 

Celes still thought of Ruby sometimes. Mostly, she marveled at the amazing luck of their meeting. Sometimes she wondered if the girl had ever found her friends. Celes certainly hoped that she had. 

"After that is Torensten, then far to the East is Sonora." Celes had spent her near-month on this strange land learning everything necessary to avoid another Provo Incident. She had considered traveling to Torensten in the past (it seemed to be where several other "foreigners" had gathered), but hadn't quite gathered the drive. Sonora she'd only heard mentioned in passing as a kind of strict military town. It most certainly would not suit their needs.  

"I believe Torensten to be our best option. It's a sprawling city with few defenses, or at least, so I've heard. There would be less to fear." Celes ran a hand through her tangled hair and pushed it back over her pauldrons. She gave the surrounding trees a very slight smirk. "At least, so long as we don't make any deadly missteps."

OOC: ((Two comments. 1.) I think this somehow took place before the Chaos post? xD And shows how Terra got to Torensten? Though where Celes is during that thread, I have no idea. 2.) I think this thread has pretty much wrapped up. It was hard for me to even get this out, so I don't think I'll be able to crank out another while they're walking. Feel free to wrap it up in your response!))